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Pope John Paul II On His Way To Sainthood Is A Direct Slap In The Face To Bill Paxton

VATICAN CITY (AP) — Pope John Paul II has cleared the final obstacle before being made a saint, awaiting just the final approval from Pope Francis and a date for the ceremony that could come as soon as Dec. 8, a Vatican official and news reports said Tuesday. The ANSA news agency reported that a commission of cardinals and bishops met Tuesday to consider John Paul’s case and signed off on it. A Vatican official confirmed that the decision had been taken some time back and that Tuesday’s meeting was essentially a formality. One possible canonization date is Dec. 8, the feast of the Immaculate Conception, a major feast day for the Catholic Church. This year the feast coincidentally falls on a Sunday, which is when canonizations usually occur. The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he is not authorized by the church to discuss saint-making cases on the record, confirmed reports in La Stampa newspaper that John Paul could be canonized together with Pope John XXIII, who called the Second Vatican Council but died in 1963 before it was finished. There is reasoned precedent for beatifying or canonizing two popes together, primarily to balance one another out. John Paul has been on the fast track for possible sainthood ever since his 2005 death, but there remains some concern that the process has been too quick. Some of the Holy See’s deep-seated problems — clerical sex abuse, dysfunctional governance and more recently the financial scandals at the Vatican bank — essentially date from shortcomings of his pontificate. Defenders of the fast-track process argue that people are canonized, not pontificates.

– Yahoo/AP

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Wow. There are slaps in the face and then there are SLAPS IN THE FACE. Why doesn’t the catholic church just go to Bill Paxton’s house and kick his dog. Go beat up his grandmother in a nursing home. I am shocked and appalled. In all seriousness what did Pope John Paul II really do? Every picture I’ve ever seen of him he’s sitting in a chair. Tough life. I wouldn’t mind sitting in a chair all day wearing beautiful robes and fancy hats,  all the while being the moral authority for one of the largest religions in the modern world. Bill.Paxton, on the other hand, discovered the fucking Titantic. He chased down massive tornadoes with Helen Hunt. He went to the goddamn moon with Kevin Bacon and Tom Hanks. I don’t think I’ve ever been more upset about something in my life. If Bill Paxton isn’t canonized in my lifetime then I would have live an unfulfilled life. And it will be all Pope John Paul II’s fault.

– Ryan

P.S. No way the Pope can grow a beard like that. Paxton owns him again.

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I’ll Take Heaven for $100,000 Alex

Lets play the hypothetical game: I give you $100,000 cash, and you can have anything you want in this world. What do you choose? A sweet car? Down payment on a new house? $100,000 worth of Taco Bell? How about a spot in heaven? That’s right, dangerously insane human beings have been bidding on an Ebay auction that offers the winning bidder a spot in heaven. The man who started this mind boggling bidding war, Ari Mandel, is actually an atheist who put his “spot in heaven” up for bid as a joke. You really can’t make this shit up. All religious mumbo jumbo aside, how fucking crazy do you have to be to bid $100 on this? Im gonna go with Amanda Bynes crazy mixed with serial killer crazy. Bidding $100,000!? That’s a level of crazy not even the crazy ants could fathom. Ebay has removed the post from its website, due to the fact that its fucking insane. What they need to do is release the names of these people who actually bid on this so we can get them on a private plane far far away where their psychotic brains can’t hurt anyone. Looney Tunes city.

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