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Average Nobodies Podcast – Ep 11

Ryan Does Italy – A Recap


I’ve been in Italy for the past 10 days, and if you haven’t noticed, that’s because Funky Butt Matt has been doing one hell of a job running Average Nobodies. Now that I’m back, I have a lot of DVR’d television to watch, but first, I wanted to spread the word about everything I learned while in Italy.

I visited Rome, Assisi, Perugia, Florence, Sienna, Venice, Murano, Lake Como and Malpensa. I know, I impress myself sometimes. If I had to sum up all these places in one word, it would be wine.

1. I would be 500 pounds if I lived in Italy. I know a lot of people say that when they come back from vacation but it’s 100% true. Italians don’t eat to leave and go somewhere else, they leave where they are to go eat. It’s like a spiritual experience to them. Every day we put aside 2-3 hours for lunch, and by lunch I mean antipasto as an appetizer, followed by loads of bread followed by pasta followed by veal/fish. For LUNCH. Throw in a few jugs of wine and you have the best lunch ever created. It was wonderful, but if I stayed any longer I’d be one of those people who needs a forklift to get from their bedroom to the bathroom.

2. Italians, and Europeans in general, somehow didn’t get the “smoking is bad for you” memo. EVERYONE smokes in Italy. Babies, normal people, old people. Its insane. The only downside to this, besides constantly smelling like cigarettes, is that Italians love to smoke while they eat. Luckily for them, just about every restaurant in Italy has outside dining. What’s a bowl of pasta without half a dozen cigarettes anyway?

3. I found my new favorite song. While in Florence, I ate at a restaurant that played a live version of Country Roads by John Denver, except with a violin and an accordion. It was amazing. I don’t know who the two guys who played it are, but one day I will travel back and find them and make them play that song for me on repeat forever.

4. The YMCA is my jam. You know how the Soviets used to train spies and send them to the US and give them trigger words to cause chaos? The YMCA is my trigger word. Once I hear it I stop what I’m doing and just turn into a dancing machine.

5. The mosquito’s in Italy are ravenous animals. Apparently if you eat fruit they single you out and take advantage of you. Guess what this guy had for breakfast every morning? Large quantities of fruit.

6. Pasta Arrabbiata is the most amazing thing I’ve ever eaten. It’s translating as just pasta with a spicy sauce, but it’s so much more. I do not know what is in the sauce, but whatever the hell it is must be some sort of heaven on Earth. Also, refer back to point 1 about being 500 pounds because I would eat this for lunch and dinner every day for the rest of my life.

7. If wine addiction is a thing, I have it. I’m also addicted to the Italian lifestyle of multiple hour lunches with four course meals and endless jugs of wine. Between the food, wine, sites, views and history, Italy is a place to be treasured. Basically, Italy is heaven on Earth.








Monday Night Raw Recap – 9/16/13

And we’re live from Cleveland, Ohio!


[RAW opens up with the new WWE champion Daniel Bryan. HHH then brings out the referee from the WWE championship, Scott Armstrong, to talk about his “fast count”. Looks like we have the Chris Jericho screw job part 2.]

Daniel Bryan refuses to give up the title, as the crowd chants “NO”. As HHH tries to grab the title away from Bryan, Orton sneaks in for an RKO. Cleveland seemed less upset when Lebron left town. Orton stands tall in the ring as HHH leaves with the title.

ziggler ambrose

[Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose (Non Title)]

Ziggler wins with the Zig Zag. Dolph Ziggler might be in the best shape a human being can be in. Great back and forth in this match, and let’s hope this feud continues, because they put on terrific matches. I still haven’t decided if Dean Ambrose reminding me of a serial killer is a good or a bad thing.

[We come back from commercial and Steph McMahon is laying the guilt trip on Show pretty heavily, as usual]


[Fandango vs. R Truth]

R Truth grabs the momentum early on. Fandango quickly rallies back and goes for the quick pin. 2 count. Fandango has really gotten comfortable in the ring during Monday Night Raw and playing to the crowd has always been his strong point. Momentum back to Truth, who has really stood the test of time in the WWE. Hasn’t lost a step. Fandango hits the big leg drop off the top rope and pins Truth for a 3-count. Sweet, sweet Summer Rae, be my wife.

[Dusty Rhodes is shown backstage with Booker T and some of the talent. “The American Dream” will take the mic next!]

Never forget:


Dusty Rhodes’ theme song is still top 3 all time. Also, his forehead is haunting. Always a strong segment when you fit a Bed Bath & Beyond reference in there. Stephanie makes Dusty decide between Dustin and Cody’s career. This a great twist to the storyline. Gives this story an entirely different dynamic. SiERRA HOTEL INDIA ECHO LIMA DELTA! Here comes The Shield! Dusty may earn another slice to that forehead after this is over. And now here comes the Big Show. This is now the weirdest combination of people ever. Steph orders Big Show to knock out Dusty. The Big Show being poor is now my favorite storyline of all-time. Steph says if Show doesn’t knock out Dusty, The Shield will beat him with chairs. Not the ideal situation to be stuck in. Big Show knocks out Dusty. I’ve seen the Big Show cry way too often this month. Dusty was great in this segment.

[6 Diva tag match – Brie Bella, Funkadactyls vs. Alicia Fox, Aksana & Layla]


AJ and Natalya were on commentary. This match was super short. Probably a good thing.


[Sandow vs. RVD]

Sandow comes out with his briefcase, and RVD comes out with his personal ring announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez. I like Ricardo, I really do, but how long can this personal ring announcer thing go for him? Quick match, RVD hits the insane frog splash off the top rope

[HHH fires referee Scott Armstrong]

hug it out

[Randy Orton vs. The Miz]

miz orton

The Miz is the hometown boy tonight, and he gets a good ovation from the crowd. He goes over to kiss his mom and dad who are easily the weirdest looking couple in the world.


Orton attacks The Miz, much to the chagrin of Mr. Miz’s two chins. Segment ends with DDT on the outside, following a knee to the back of Miz’s head while it was locked in a chair. I can’t stop rewinding back to the part with Miz’s parents. Scary face city.

{Paul Heyman promo with Ryback]

Great promo by Heyman, who came out clean shaven but in a wheelchair. selling the caning by Punk the night before. Ryback speaks and says he doesn’t like bowleys. Whatever that is. Heyman seals the promo with a kiss on the check, and now we will forever have this photo:


[Tag Team Turmoil: Uso’s vs. Tons of Funk vs. Real Americans]

Really good match. Cool spot with Tensai delivering a delayed suplex to Cesaro. Tons of Funk eliminated first. Cesaro then pulls of the big swing, reminiscent of last week vs. Santino. He really needs a push. The Uso’s ass to the face has to be low on the list I’d move I’d wanna take. Nice ending sequence: Jimmy Uso is on the top rope, and Jay Uso tags in just as Swagger runs up and throws Jimmy to the mat. Jey Uso then frog splashes Swagger for the win. I’m starting to believe Zeb Colter is an actual racist.

[Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns]

bryan reignsjpeg

Great match. Reigns seems to get better as the weeks go by. Bryan had Reigns in the “Yes lock” but Orton interfered. The rest of The Shield join Orton in the ring and beat down Bryan. Orton goes to the outside and grabs a chair to finish the job on Bryan. Out comes the locker room for the save! Reigns hits a HUGE spear on Kofi, but The Shield are finally outnumbered. Ziggler hits a fame-asser on Ambrose, and RVD nails Reigns with a reverse spin kick. Daniel Bryan hits the flying knee on Rollins as the superstars put Bryan on their shoulders and we go off the air.

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