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Honey Boo Boo Has A New Song & Music Video & Why Is This Happening

Reality TV is a weird monster. TV executives put these odd and mostly deranged people in front of a camera, then panic when something odd and deranged happens. In Duck Dynasty, the hillbilly swamp guy who makes his money selling duck hunting whistles turned out to be a homophobe. In 19 Kids & Counting, one of the kids turned out to be a sexual predator who molested his own sister. In Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, the mother ended up dating a pedophile. If you were shocked by any of these situations then I really don’t know what to tell you. There are seriously messed up people in this world, and the more reality television that gets created, the more we’re introduced to them. Like anything else, reality TV was cool at first. Real World/Road Rules, Survivor, American Idol; all entertaining, all fun to watch. But in 2015, I just want reality TV to die a quick and painful death. It’s all 100% garbage, and even the stalwart shows like Idol and Survivor are boring because you’ve seen it a million times. Honey Boo Boo was never good, and the fact that we still have to watch this stupid kid do stuff is infuriating. Now she’s making a music video. OH GOOD. For the love of all that is holy, please never put a camera in front of this kid again.

-Ryan

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Chris Did Not React Well To His Elimination On ‘The Bachelorette’ Last Night

I’m going to preface this by saying that I do not watch ‘The Bachelorette”. It’s on the same day and time as Raw, so it’s just not meant to be, but anytime somebody reacts like this to being eliminated from a reality show about fake love, I have to blog about it. It’s in my tiger/blogger blood to give my two cents. Chris got eliminated by Kaitlyn, and he didn’t take it so well. They also took Chris to what looks like the edge of the cliff just to let him know he was being eliminated, then just kind of let him sit there and cry. Seems kind of cruel. Is this what “The Bachelorette” has become? Granted I don’t know what it was originally, but this is some cold blooded stuff. Just breaking his heart then sticking a camera in his face while he completely breaks down. I know this is all scripted, but somebody should check on Chris. Things aren’t OK at home.

– Ryan

Total Reality: How To Maintain The Relationship Between The WWE & E! Once Total Divas Ends

#GiveDivasAChance trended worldwide on Twitter and ever since then there has been even more criticism than usual of how WWE handles and portrays their Women’s division. On the other hand, when it comes to their promotion of their E! Network reality show Total Divas, the WWE pushes that programming to the moon. The fact that Total Divas takes priority over the Divas content on Monday Night RAW or Smackdown is somewhat demeaning to the division, especially when the Divas ARE actually wrestling, the commentators are usually talking about the happenings on Total Divas and not about what’s going on in the ring.

One idea to both make up for the loss of Total Divas once it ends and give the Divas more TV time could see the WWE working out a deal with the E! Network to turn what was Total Divas was into a new minor brand show ala Main Event and Superstars. The difference between Main Event/Superstars and this show would be that it solely focuses on the WWE Divas. This would allow more time for the Divas to showcase their individual talents both in the ring and on the microphone, as well as give lesser seen Divas such as Emma, Cameron and Eva Marie more air time.

Currently there are no reports that would indicate that the WWE and the E! Network are on bad terms, so creating this new minor brand show on that network could definitely happen once the reality show has come to a close. Total Divas is an hour long show which has a steady number of viewers, and if both the WWE and the E! Network came to terms about moving forward with a new show, it could also be an hour long. If there were a major drop in ratings for Total Divas between now and the time it goes off the air, it could have an effect on the timing of the new show. E! wouldn’t want to take a huge risk on an hour long product but would potentially agree to a thirty minute show.

The WWE and the E! Network are both mainstream companies with the ability to create and maintain important celebrity relationships. This could benefit the new show, as major female figures from different professional spheres could stop in for segments which will only help this female driven show.

The major role that would need to be filled would be assigning a major female as the head of the show both in front of the curtains and also behind the scenes. This woman’s role would be the same as how Kathleen Kennedy and Kevin Feige are the captains of the ships for both the Star Wars and Marvel movies. This woman would need to be well versed in women’s wrestling and also understand the dynamics behind what goes into making a show like this. If this is going to be a show that focuses primarily on the Divas, shouldn’t a Diva herself run the show?

– Jake

As always, make sure to follow Jake on Twitter @ImTHATGuy_KJ

In Case You Needed A Reminder That The World Is Ass Backwards, The Kardashians Just Signed A $100 Million Deal With E!

WHYThe Kardashians have signed a record-breaking, $100 million-plus deal to remain with E! for another four years, sources have exclusively confirmed to Page Six.

Momager Kris Jenner recently secured the astonishing deal for herself and daughters Kim,Khloé and Kourtney Kardashian and Kendall and Kylie Jenner. Bruce Jenner is not part of the deal, having previously agreed that he will be leaving after the upcoming 10th season of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” Bruce has his own show at E! based on his sex transition.

The Kardashian deal, the highest in TV history for a reality brand, is being kept strictly under wraps. E!’s parent company, Comcast, says it plans to save by spending less on content if its proposed merger with Time Warner Cable goes ahead.

The deal covers at least four more seasons of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” as well as spinoffs, which have included “Kourtney and Khloé Take the Hamptons.” E! executives also believe the family’s huge social media following will fuel future digital projects. Jenner had previously been rumored to be in talks about a Kardashian YouTube channel.

EXCELLENT. This is exactly what the world needs. Not only are the Kardashians going to continue to be on television, but they’re going to be making even more money. Kourtney Kardashian is worth $18 million. Kim Kardashian is worth $65 million. Kris Jenner is worth $125 million. Typing literally made me throw up all over my keyboard. As someone invested in the future of humanity, this is a huge blow to the sanity of mankind. Honestly, it’s no wonder the younger generation wants to be a reality TV star. If you can have a net worth of $65 million for having sex with a black guy on tape and crying on television, why would you aspire to be anything else? God damn it all.

– Ryan

 

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