Blog Archives
It’s Officially 1991 All Over Again: Hulk Hogan and The Undertaker Both Returned on Raw Last Night
If WWE fans have the balls to complain about last night’s Raw, then maybe they should just stop watching. Are you going to complain that two of the greatest superstars returned on the same night? How about you complain about the two really good matches between Cesaro/Big E and Daniel Bryan/Kane. Or maybe you can complain about the Bray Wyatt/Roman Reigns match that everyone has been clamoring for yet the live crowd shit all over. Or that Hulk Hogan’s boa was too long or Undertaker’s hair was too short. I really don’t think any combination of three hour show is ever going to make wrestling fans happy. If I’m the WWE I would say screw the fans and do whatever makes you the most money. Then turn that money sideways and stick it straight up their candy asses.
– Ryan
CM Punk Took a Nose Dive On My Favorite Wrestlers List
For those of you not up on recent WWE happenings, CM Punk, the self proclaimed “best in the world”, has up and quit the WWE. Just straight walked out on operations the day after the Royal Rumble. Took his ball and went home, ala Stone Cold. No reason for it and, publicly, nobody has heard from him since. Past issues with Punk leads me to believe that he wasn’t happy with how the company was using him, and you know what, Punk? If that is the reason then you need to seriously reevaluate your situation. Between 2012 and 2013 nobody, and I mean nobody, was bigger in the WWE than CM Punk and his loud mouth manager, Paul Heyman. CM Punk owned the squared 
circle. Girls wanted him and guys wanted to be him. Somehow he thought that changed in the past few months. Got news for ya, it didn’t. Go ahead and replay any WWE event since Punk’s departure. “CM Punk” chants can be heard throughout the night, and to be honest it is ruining some of the best programming WWE has put on in years. Fans need to realize this is the fault of the WWE. WWE didn’t show Punk the door, neither did they want to, Punk walked out all on his own. Say what you will about Batista’s win at the Rumble, but HHH and Vince, like always, have a pulse on whats going on with the WWE Universe.
From what is rumored, Vince has been meeting with Punk. Which is gracious on his part. I would have told Punk to go fuck himself. Punk fell way off my list after this stunt.
-Matt
PS- What are you going to do? Go wrestle for TNA? Only a matter of time before you shoot a funeral home promo. That’s when you know you’ve hit pro-wrestling rock bottom.
Daniel Bryan Had the Dunk ROCKING!
Providence, RI … you MADE that segment. #AWESOMECROWD. #THANKYOU Great crowds can make a good turn all that much better. #WWE #RAW #WWERAW
— RyanClark (@RyanClarkWZR) January 14, 2014
Yeah, I’m pretty sure the roof just came off the Dunkin’ Donuts Center. Wow, @wweDanielBryan. #Raw #CageMatch
— Richard Gray (@wnwdotcom) January 14, 2014
#ThisIsAwesome in Providence! #RAW
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) January 14, 2014
Daniel Bryan tearing the roof off the Dunkin Donuts center after a face-turn like only he could. I’m pretty sure there is no one as “over” as he is in the WWE right now. Maybe Punk and Cena are close seconds, but that is it. Daniel Bryan is growing into quite the phenom in the wrestling world.
YES YES YES
-Matt
Jake “The Snake” Roberts Surprised the World on Raw Last Night and it Was Awesome
Anyone who’s followed this story from the beginning has to be happy for Jake Roberts. His personal demons almost killed him but with the help of DDP Yoga he transformed his life and looks great. Far and away the best part of Raw, mostly because it was so unexpected. The best moment for me was watching Ambrose, a professed chikdhood Jake Roberts fan, with a big smile on his face when Jake put the snake on him. Let’s hope Jake sticks around, and gets one more moment in the sun at the Rumble.
– Ryan
Monday Night Raw Should Be Decent Tonight
I’m a sucker for nostalgia, but I have a feeling this week’s raw is going to be one for the record books. A lot of good storylines, especially the next chapter in the Wyatt’s/Daniel Bryan saga combined with all the returning legends should make a solid episode. Although if I don’t see Ric Flair elbow drop his suit jacket I’ll be horribly disappointed.
– Ryan
Is Ahmed Johnson the Craziest Looking Person in History?
For those of you who don’t know, Ahmed Johnson was a professional wrestler for the WWE in the mid to late 90s. Also, Ahmed Johnson might be the most insane looking person in history. I know wrestling is fake, but I have a list of people I’d never want to get in a fight with and Ahmed Johnson is at the top of that list. He’s one of the few people I’ve seen that just seem naturally angry. He either plays his character remarkably well or he oozes hate. I’m going with the latter. Classic example of a man who I’d want on my side 7 days a week but is a total game changer when he’s against you. There’s crazy, and then there’s the pearl river plunging Ahmed Johnson.
– Ryan
Monday Night Raw Recap – 9/16/13
And we’re live from Cleveland, Ohio!
[RAW opens up with the new WWE champion Daniel Bryan. HHH then brings out the referee from the WWE championship, Scott Armstrong, to talk about his “fast count”. Looks like we have the Chris Jericho screw job part 2.]
Daniel Bryan refuses to give up the title, as the crowd chants “NO”. As HHH tries to grab the title away from Bryan, Orton sneaks in for an RKO. Cleveland seemed less upset when Lebron left town. Orton stands tall in the ring as HHH leaves with the title.
[Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose (Non Title)]
Ziggler wins with the Zig Zag. Dolph Ziggler might be in the best shape a human being can be in. Great back and forth in this match, and let’s hope this feud continues, because they put on terrific matches. I still haven’t decided if Dean Ambrose reminding me of a serial killer is a good or a bad thing.
[We come back from commercial and Steph McMahon is laying the guilt trip on Show pretty heavily, as usual]
[Fandango vs. R Truth]
R Truth grabs the momentum early on. Fandango quickly rallies back and goes for the quick pin. 2 count. Fandango has really gotten comfortable in the ring during Monday Night Raw and playing to the crowd has always been his strong point. Momentum back to Truth, who has really stood the test of time in the WWE. Hasn’t lost a step. Fandango hits the big leg drop off the top rope and pins Truth for a 3-count. Sweet, sweet Summer Rae, be my wife.
[Dusty Rhodes is shown backstage with Booker T and some of the talent. “The American Dream” will take the mic next!]
Never forget:
Dusty Rhodes’ theme song is still top 3 all time. Also, his forehead is haunting. Always a strong segment when you fit a Bed Bath & Beyond reference in there. Stephanie makes Dusty decide between Dustin and Cody’s career. This a great twist to the storyline. Gives this story an entirely different dynamic. SiERRA HOTEL INDIA ECHO LIMA DELTA! Here comes The Shield! Dusty may earn another slice to that forehead after this is over. And now here comes the Big Show. This is now the weirdest combination of people ever. Steph orders Big Show to knock out Dusty. The Big Show being poor is now my favorite storyline of all-time. Steph says if Show doesn’t knock out Dusty, The Shield will beat him with chairs. Not the ideal situation to be stuck in. Big Show knocks out Dusty. I’ve seen the Big Show cry way too often this month. Dusty was great in this segment.
[6 Diva tag match – Brie Bella, Funkadactyls vs. Alicia Fox, Aksana & Layla]
AJ and Natalya were on commentary. This match was super short. Probably a good thing.
[Sandow vs. RVD]
Sandow comes out with his briefcase, and RVD comes out with his personal ring announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez. I like Ricardo, I really do, but how long can this personal ring announcer thing go for him? Quick match, RVD hits the insane frog splash off the top rope
[HHH fires referee Scott Armstrong]
[Randy Orton vs. The Miz]
The Miz is the hometown boy tonight, and he gets a good ovation from the crowd. He goes over to kiss his mom and dad who are easily the weirdest looking couple in the world.
Orton attacks The Miz, much to the chagrin of Mr. Miz’s two chins. Segment ends with DDT on the outside, following a knee to the back of Miz’s head while it was locked in a chair. I can’t stop rewinding back to the part with Miz’s parents. Scary face city.
{Paul Heyman promo with Ryback]
Great promo by Heyman, who came out clean shaven but in a wheelchair. selling the caning by Punk the night before. Ryback speaks and says he doesn’t like bowleys. Whatever that is. Heyman seals the promo with a kiss on the check, and now we will forever have this photo:
[Tag Team Turmoil: Uso’s vs. Tons of Funk vs. Real Americans]
Really good match. Cool spot with Tensai delivering a delayed suplex to Cesaro. Tons of Funk eliminated first. Cesaro then pulls of the big swing, reminiscent of last week vs. Santino. He really needs a push. The Uso’s ass to the face has to be low on the list I’d move I’d wanna take. Nice ending sequence: Jimmy Uso is on the top rope, and Jay Uso tags in just as Swagger runs up and throws Jimmy to the mat. Jey Uso then frog splashes Swagger for the win. I’m starting to believe Zeb Colter is an actual racist.
[Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns]
Great match. Reigns seems to get better as the weeks go by. Bryan had Reigns in the “Yes lock” but Orton interfered. The rest of The Shield join Orton in the ring and beat down Bryan. Orton goes to the outside and grabs a chair to finish the job on Bryan. Out comes the locker room for the save! Reigns hits a HUGE spear on Kofi, but The Shield are finally outnumbered. Ziggler hits a fame-asser on Ambrose, and RVD nails Reigns with a reverse spin kick. Daniel Bryan hits the flying knee on Rollins as the superstars put Bryan on their shoulders and we go off the air.
