Adam ponders life’s many mysteries one dirt path at a time – Ryan is a celebrity age wizard – Matt finds Flubber a bit troublesome.
Smackdown was live this week from Providence, RI, and whenever the WWE comes to town, you can be sure the Average Nobodies will be in attendance. Tuesday night was no different, and as usual, WWE put on a great live show. We got in there right about the start of Main Event, and even saw Finn Balor and Samoa Joe team up in some high quality NXT action. Let’s get to the 5 stars from last night’s Smackdown!
1. The Wyatt Family
The Wyatt Family opened up Smackdown with a promo, which is par for the course for Smackdown. But if you think I’m not going to give Bray, Luke Harper and their new Donald Gibb lookalike a star then you’re high. Having Wyatt influence people enough to join his family is such a long overdo character trait that it makes me furious it didn’t happen sooner. But it happened now, and although I’m 1000% sure that Braun is going to end up being just another obstacle Roman Reigns overcomes, my optimistic side says that this trio could finally get Bray into the title picture. It’s a goddamn shame that Wyatt has never held a belt in the WWE, especially when the IC belt is toiling away in obscurity with Ryback and Big Show punching each other for 7 minutes at a time. You’re telling me IC champion Wyatt wouldn’t have good to great matches and feuds with the Dean Ambrose/Kevin Owens/Cesaro’s of the WWE? It’d be money, and it would give the mid carders something to chase. Make it happen, WWE. Or just have Wyatt be the best character you’ve had in a decade lose every important match he wrestles.
2. Seth Rollins
Fresh off his US title win at Summerslam and beat down at the hands of Sting on Raw, Seth Rollins unfortunately didn’t wrestle on Smackdown, but he did cut one hell of a fiery promo. While most of his promos are long winded, my favorite part about the Seth Rollins character is that it comes from a very real place. Rollins does have a chip on his shoulder, he does think he’s underrated and he truly believes he’s ‘the man’. When he was in NXT, he felt that he should have been elevated to the main roster. When he was in The Shield, he felt like the spotlight should have been shined solely on him. Now that he’s WWE Champion, he believes people should bow at his feet and thank him for being in their presence. He’s sick of having his title reign questioned, and if he has to beat old man Sting to prove once again that he’s THE MAN, then that’s exactly what he’s going to do. Seth Rollins is at the top of his game right now, and if there’s one guy who can pull a main event match out of Sting at this phase of his career, it’s Seth Rollins.
3. The Dudley Boyz Make Their Smackdown Return
I’m not going to sit here and lie directly to your face and say I didn’t pee myself a little when the Dudleys showed up on RAW and decimated The New Day. It was probably in my top 3 as far as wrestlers returning to the WWE goes (other two that i’m still waiting for are Stone Cold and Mickie James [love me some Mickie]). So when I found out the Dudleys were going to be showing off those sweet camo pants on the Smackdown that I was attending, I got the sharpie out and made a “get the tables sign” (WHICH WAS SEEN ON SMACKDOWN). Was I a little disappointed they fought The Ascension? Yeah, sure I was. Did it matter? Hell no it did not, The Dudleys were going to put one, or both, of them through the table anyway. Bonus pee in my pants for The New Day coming out with hilarious signs protesting the Dudleys reappearance in the WWE. #GiveTablesAChance
4. Sheamus Working the Providence Crowd
The WWE loves Sheamus. At first I didn’t understand why, but after a few years of matches and character changes I see it clearly, the guy is pretty much the total package. He’s big, he’s got “the look”, he speaks decent on the mic, he makes his opponent look good, has a shit ton of moves in his repertoire and he can deal with a tough crowd. On Smackdown, he had to continually deal with a hostile crowd that were chanting “You look stupid”, and while I agree with the Providence crowd, this can’t be an easy thing to deal with as a backdrop to your match. In-between giving Ambrose the beating of a lifetime, he would often look to the crowd and scream “no i’m not!”, which, if you ask me, is the perfect childish response you want from a heel. Great match by Ambrose and Sheamus.
5. Finn Balor and Samoa Joe
Samoa Joe and Finn Balor teaming up in a tag team match against the Lucha Dragons was a nice added bonus for our night at the Dunkin Donuts Center in Providence. The match was great, and Balor and Joe are a formidable team going forward (more on that in a bit). Sin Cara probably isn’t going anywhere past the Lucha Dragons, but if the WWE ever lets Kalisto let loose and become another Rey Mysterio, he’s going to blow people away more than he’s already doing now. The reason I mentioned Joe and Balor going forward, and the reason why this match was especially special (new phrase) is because this ended up being one of the matches that decided what teams would participate in the Dusty Rhodes Memorial Tag Team Tournament that is going to be dominating NXT TV over the next few months. The tag team division is probably the weakest part of NXT, and that’s not a knock on the tag division, but rather it shows you how strong the rest of their show is. If you want to see the difference between NXT and WWE, just look at this move by Regal, HHH and whoever else had a hand in creating this tournament. WWE’s answer to a subpar tag division is to just run fatal four way after fatal four way tag team matches with the same teams. The only reason people are talking about the division at all is because of the wonderfulness of New Day and the PTP. Instead of doing that, NXT creates this memorial tournament, which gives EVERY NXT wrestler, including their champion Finn Balor, a chance to enter with a teammate and try to win it. Dusty Rhodes was the heart and soul of NXT, so from a real life and storyline standpoint, every wrestler on the roster has motivation to want to win this thing. We’re probably not there yet, but how awesome would it be to have a few women team up and get a couple victories? If you don’t want to see Charlotte tap out Mojo Rawley you might not have a soul.
-The Average Nobodies
Vote 4 Buddy – Buddy Cianci, the twice-convicted felon who led Providence as mayor for 21 years, wants his old job back.
Cianci said Wednesday that he is running as an independent for a seventh term as mayor. The last time he won an election was 16 years ago — before he was convicted in 2002 of racketeering conspiracy for widespread corruption in his administration. He spent 4 ½ years in prison.
Cianci, 73, said he is not seeking redemption, but wishes to bring his experience and vision to the city to make a difference. He said Providence can’t afford to have a mayor who is getting ‘‘on-the-job training.’’
Making an announcement on his radio show, Cianci said that many people would call this an eleventh-hour decision, but that he decided to join the field after much soul-searching and reflection. He said he wants to rekindle the city’s ‘‘renaissance.’’
‘‘If the people don’t want me, they don’t have to vote for me. I realize I have baggage,’’ he said during a break in his show. ‘‘They know who I am. They know what I am. And they know what I’ve accomplished.’’
Cianci’s announcement came shortly before the 4 p.m. filing deadline; a surrogate filed his paperwork for him at City Hall. He will take a leave from the show and from his duties as a local television commentator during the campaign.
Cianci previously won office as a Republican and independent.
Nice little feel good story to get your Thursday off to a roaring start. And if you think Cianci is losing this election you’re high. The guy is absolutely loved in Providence. And it might just take a 73 year old ex convict to have the vision to actually fix the fucking potholes in this city. The fact of the matter is all politicians are corrupt, especially the ones who serve six terms as Mayor; but the city thrived under Cianci and the people he served adored him. So he did a little racketeering – water under the bridge (stupid saying). Vote 4 Buddy.
For those of you who don’t know what “flair bartending” is… The Average Nobodies very rarely turn down a chance to drink during the week, so we attended the Flair Bartending Flip Out On Cancer charity event Monday in Providence, Rhode Island. The logic is simple: you pick a song or two and you bartend your ass off. While we were watching the competition, we thought we’d throw our hats in the ring and pick a few songs and create a routine in case there ever comes a day where we need to flair bartend to save our families from a Russian super villain bent on world domination.
Flair bartending is all about energy, and with these two songs I’ll have it in spades. Return of the Mack will get the people on their feet and Dance With Somebody will literally have people dancing with each other. If you can’t jam to these two songs, you have no soul and I don’t want you apart of my flair bartending routine. Another good thing about these songs is that they will distract the audience away from my routine. A lot of the bartenders we saw were all hands and arms, so I’m thinking I use a feet heavy routine. Do people want their bartenders feet near their drinks? Probably not, but I’m the flair bartender and they’re not. At some point I’ll probably roll multiple bottles on the ground and kick them like a soccer ball. Add in a couple hip thrusts and some obscene gestures, and you have yourself one hell of a flair bartending routine.
From what I saw at the flair bartending event your music can make or break your performance in two ways: 1. The music doesn’t speak to your inner showman or show-woman and you come up short. Using the music to get the juices flowing is like a natural adrenaline shot to the heart. You ever hear about mothers that gain ridiculous strength to save their children? Well i’m pretty sure I could jump over a small building while listening to 80’s hair metal. and 2. The music doesn’t get the people going. Nothing’s worse than getting ready to perform something in from of some people and the crowd isn’t cheering your every move. Look back at some Stone Cold Steve Austin entrances. When that glass breaks there isn’t one ass in one seat in the whole arena! Handicapped sections included (if that’s terrible of me I am sorry, but I need to prove a point). That’s the kind of energy a flair bartending performance deserves!
Having said that, my choices were easy. I start off with some ‘Twisted Sister’ followed up by the ultimate party song, Cherry Pie. I figure I will use a lot of ice in my routine. Like throw it around and keep the eyes off the action at hand. That way I can lean on some simple bottle flips and cup twirls throughout my performance. Smoke and mirrors people, that’s the first rule of magic school. I also will be yelling pretty loud so that should create an additional distraction. Like so loud that people will think i’m hurt, but I won’t be..I think.
Side note: Veteran flair performer, Lauren, said that Cherry Pie is too slow of a song to flair to. I didn’t listen, so I could be off to an awful start to my flair career. I regret nothing.
Rhode Island’s finest, everybody. That’s how the true pro’s get ready for live TV. Thumb to the face and tongue sticking it out like it ain’t no thang. I’m not 100% sure that we can rule out a stroke, but if it wasn’t then Frank needs to work on his game face. I know a Rhode Island college basketball team hasn’t been THIS good in awhile, but that’s no excuse. You’re better than this, Frank. Lock it up.
— RyanClark (@RyanClarkWZR) January 14, 2014
— Richard Gray (@wnwdotcom) January 14, 2014
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) January 14, 2014
Daniel Bryan tearing the roof off the Dunkin Donuts center after a face-turn like only he could. I’m pretty sure there is no one as “over” as he is in the WWE right now. Maybe Punk and Cena are close seconds, but that is it. Daniel Bryan is growing into quite the phenom in the wrestling world.
YES YES YES
Beerfest came to our backyard of Providence, Rhode Island this weekend, and as an avid beer drinker, I was not going to pass up this opportunity. Here’s a guide (to the best of my recollection) to doing beerfest the right way.
Although beerfest was nothing like the movie, it’s still a great time. It costs $44 at the door, which is basically stealing, because I felt like I drank $1,000 worth of beer. I’ve heard from a few people that they have a process when it comes to sampling beers, but my advice is to go to the tables with the shortest lines and try not to make a fool of yourself. Also, if Curious Traveler offers you a fake mustache, take it.
If a company is smart enough to build taps into the side of a van, drink their beer.
Never miss an opportunity to get a picture of a world class ponytail.
Or a man wearing a wolf costume on the bus.
The lesson of beerfest is that there are no winners or losers, just those brave men and women who throw their inhibitions to the wind and drink as much beer as they can in a three and a half hour time period.
And although a few wary travelers passed out along the way..
..Jeff Green beating the heat ended the night perfectly.
jeff green for the win https://t.co/LoFpZawrwI
— The Average Nobodies (@AverageNobodies) November 10, 2013
EAST PROVIDENCE, R.I. (AP) — Authorities discovered four pounds of marijuana after firefighters put out a blaze in an East Providence providing.
The Providence Journal (http://bit.ly/1aiZAg1 ) reports that the fire broke out around 11 a.m. Tuesday in a three-story building that houses a liquor store and apartments.
Police Lt. William Nebus says firefighters discovered growing lights used for marijuana and called police.
Police say while some residents of the building had medical marijuana cards, they are only allowed to have up to 12 plants and 2.5 ounces each.
A 22-year-old woman was arrested. Her name was not immediately released.
Talk about getting kicked while you’re down. “Hey lady your apartment was on fire. Good news is we put out the blaze. Bad news is we confiscated all your weed.” Fire is bad enough. But if there is one thing that can turn a bad situation around it’s a boat load of weed. Pop in a few funny movies, eat your face off. Now she just has to sit in jail thinking about her burnt apartment and the weed that could’ve been. Hell on Earth.