Blog Archives
The Undertaker & His Hell in a Cell Birthday Cake Might Be My New Favorite Picture
Happy Birthday to our friend The Undertaker! Hope you enjoyed the hell in a cell cake. #wwe #wrestlemania #GetOnnit pic.twitter.com/c987xZCyUh
— Onnit (@Onnit) March 24, 2016
The Undertaker will be fighting Shane McMahon inside Hell in a Cell in 10 days, but first he’s going to “celebrate” his birthday. I put the word celebrate in quotes because no man has ever looked more unhappy while surrounded by cake and toys. I guess that’s what happens when you spend your adult life getting buried alive, surviving flaming coffins and literally crucifying people. If we’re being honest, we wouldn’t have him any other way.
-Ryan
Here’s Finn Balor Singing Happy Birthday to Samoa Joe Because Finn Balor Is The Greatest
NXT live events seem like such a magical place. If it’s not Finn Balor doing Bayley’s entrance or Bayley and Finn Balor recreating Dirty Dancing, it’s something like this. The best part is Finn Balor won the match before this video. Not only did he beat Samoa Joe, but he decided that post match was a perfect time to sing Happy Birthday to Joe along with the entire crowd. It’s wonderful. I’ll be attending the NXT live event in Kingston, RI on April 22nd, so I can only hope for something this great.
-Ryan
It’s 3/16: Happy Stone Cold Steve Austin Day
Technically it’s 3/16 during the month of 3/16, so if you’re not spending this entire month dumping beer all over your face then you’re a bad person. Stone Cold Steve Austin is one of the most popular wrestlers in the history of history, and he, along with The Rock, changed sports entertainment forever. Wrestling was never more popular than it was in the late 90’s, and a lot of that popularity had to do with Stone Cold vs. Vince McMahon. The beer drinking Texas redneck vs. the epitome of an evil boss put the WWE on the map and made them an important part of pop culture for years to come. Today, have a swig of beer for the working man, and have an entire 30 for Stone Cold Steve Austin.
-Ryan
#WWERoadblock Is WWE’s Chance To Give Us One Of The More Exciting WrestleMania Build Ups In History
There are two WrestleMania main events that could be in serious jeopardy heading into Saturday’s Roadblock live event, and depending on the outcome, that could be great news for the WWE. On paper, WWE Champion HHH vs. Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar in a street fight are both solid matches. There’s only one problem: nobody wants to believe in Roman Reigns. After WWE dropped the ball and had Reigns lose the Rumble to a returning Batista over two years ago, Roman hasn’t had the same momentum with the crowd. Daniel Bryan became their crown jewel, and even after he was sidelined numerous times with injuries, the WWE Universe just wasn’t ready to coronate Reigns as their next leader. Roman has been absent the last few weeks, recovering from real life nasal surgery after the beat down from HHH, where the crowd cheered as the heel champ bloodied the baby face challenger. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that that isn’t the reaction the WWE wants going into WrestleMania.
While Reigns has been MIA the last few weeks, Dean Ambrose has been alive and well. His feud with Brock Lesnar has brought a necessary physicality to WWE storylines, and win or lose this Saturday, Ambrose is going to be in one of the main events of WrestleMania. Where things get interesting is the recent reaction to Ambrose/HHH, which will culminate this Saturday at Roadblock. While fans cheered Reigns’ beat down, they reacted negatively to HHH beating down Ambrose a few weeks ago, and erupted when he hit a Dirty Deeds out of nowhere and grabbed the WWE title. It’s easy to see why fans resonate with Ambrose over Reigns: one is organic, natural and more of a ‘common man’; the other is The Juggernaut, The Big Dog and every other nickname that continues to distance himself from the fans that he is supposed to represent. Microphone work has always been a big part of what makes a WWE star, but it’s more than that with Reigns. The way he is presented and the way he continually is given odds to overcome is tiring. Why should I care that Reigns has ANOTHER title shot at WrestleMania. He’s already been given so many shots, and even won one, that at this point it’s already old news. I’m not saying Ambrose has to win Saturday, although that would be crazy and welcome, but something needs to happen outside of the status quo. As of now Reigns isn’t advertised for Roadblock, so let’s go over a few scenarios whether he ends showing up or not.
Worse Case Scenario: HHH wins, Reigns saves Ambrose from a beat down
This is the most likely scenario, especially if you go off of WWE’s recent booking of Reigns, but it’s the absolute worst case scenario. As I mentioned above, this isn’t a ‘Ambrose loses or we riot’ situation, but they should not portray Ambrose as the little brother who needs big brother Roman’s help. The build up over the last few weeks for HHH/Ambrose has been so perfect, that it’d be a shame to neuter Ambrose by having Roman rescue him. I understand Roman wants his revenge on HHH, but save it for another night. There are a few factors in our favor that suggest this scenario might not happen. HHH has used heel factions, The Wyatt’s and the League of Nations, to beat down Ambrose the last few weeks. WWE is running a live event in Atlantic City opposite Roadblock, and Del Rio, Harper and Strowman are all advertised in matches. With Bray and possibly Erik Rowan tied up with Lesnar earlier in the evening, that only leaves a few member of the League of Nations available for a possible run-in post match. While that still leaves the possibility open for Sheamus, Barrett and Rusev to interfere, I really hope it doesn’t happen.
Middle of the Road Scenario: HHH wins
This is the second most likely scenario. I don’t really see Ambrose winning this match straight up (although it would be amazing) and I’m willing to accept any outcome except the one outlined above. I really do think this will be a great, hard fought match that will continue to put over Ambrose as a top star, but I just don’t think they’ll give him a World title win yet. I could see the League of Nations possibly interfering in this match, giving HHH the win by default, or interfering with a knocked down referee to build the suspense & have HHH win anyway. This could possibly bring out the slowly turning baby face New Day to assist. This is a live event after all, so don’t rule out something like that to close the show.
Coolest If Not Best Case Scenario: Dean Ambrose Wins
How crazy would this be? The hands down best thing about the Attitude Era was the fact that at any given moment, four or five people were vying for the title. Stone Cold, The Rock, Undertaker, Big Show, HHH, Mick Foley; it was never just a basic one on one feud, and it made things a whole lot more interesting. IF Ambrose wins, you now have Ambrose as the champion, HHH as the former champion, Lesnar who already has a match with Ambrose scheduled for WM and Reigns who is the rightful #1 contender. That gives you so many options. Fatal four way at WM, make Lesnar/Ambrose for the title and make Reigns have to defeat HHH to become #1 contender or any other scenario with those four guys. It’s a long shot at best, but I’m glad WWE has built the feud to where this is even a possibility. Saturday should be a blast, unless Roman comes back and superman punches everyone and I light myself on fire.
-Ryan
Triple H Will Defend The WWE Title Against Dean Ambrose On 3/12 At The Newly Named WWE Roadblock Event
On Mar. 12, @TripleH defends his #WWETitle vs. @TheDeanAmbrose at #WWERoadblock! https://t.co/HQoweEfJfB #WWENetwork pic.twitter.com/uIbRsCr9Z9
— WWE (@WWE) March 1, 2016
If you didn’t watch Raw last night, you missed The League of Nations and Triple H beat the ever loving shit out of Dean Ambrose to end the show. The show began with Ambrose challenging HHH for a title shot, claiming he knows deep down that Ambrose would beat him. HHH obliged Ambrose after pedigreeing him and then proceeding to punch him about 1,000 times. When Raw went off the air, we didn’t know when the title match would take place, but thanks to this tweet by WWE, we know it’ll be on March 12th. The event, which will air live on the WWE Network on Saturday March 12th from Toronto, was originally called the ‘March to WrestleMania’. Vince must have been in a bad mood after the Undertaker choked him last night, so he decided to change the event to ‘WWE Roadblock’. Both names are kind of terrible, but at least we’ll be getting a title match at a live event. I don’t know if this is a move to further push Ambrose for his eventual main event run after WrestleMania or if WWE is genuinely interested in making him a part of the main event, but either way, I’m intrigued.
-Ryan
I Dare You Not To Smile While Watching This Video Of Bayley & Finn Balor Recreating Dirty Dancing
They had … the time of their lives! @WWEBalor @ItsBayleyWWE #DirtyDancing #NoOnePutsBayleyInACorner #FinnBayleyhttps://t.co/RFaQxCoToD
— WWE (@WWE) February 26, 2016
There’s nothing I love more than wrestlers getting a chance to be themselves and go off script. If a murderer had my grandma tied up and said that I could save her but if I did wrestlers would no longer get to let loose, I’d kiss my grandma goodbye while she confusingly looks on. Anyways…the video above is wonderful, and it shows you how much fun the men and women in NXT have. Everywhere they go, they’re welcomed with open arms and sold out crowds, and after the show’s over they continue to entertain the crowd any way they can. How are you supposed to root against Finn Balor or Bayley after watching this video? It’s impossible.
-Ryan
Insane Twitter Responses – Shield Your Eyes, Finn Balor
Shinsuke Nakamura is debuting in NXT. Shane McMahon is back with the WWE and fighting the Undertaker at WrestleMania. Wrestling is at a maximum peak right now, but none of that matters to Foxy Bustered. All she cares about is getting some of that sweet, sweet Finn Balor penis. She’s also horribly misinformed about the uses of semen. And teeth for that matter. You can’t glue teeth back together. That’s not how it works. Also, using semen as an adhesive to glue said teeth back together is just not a scenario that will happen. I will say that the visual of this gets me every time though. In this situation, Finn Balor slaps her with his penis, but he’s a gentleman about it, so when her teeth go flying out he goes and picks them up. What’s the next logical step? Gluing the teeth back together with his cum, obviously. What a world we live in.
-Ryan
Shane McMahon Returned To The WWE Last Night In One Of The Most Genuinely Shocking & Exciting Moments in #RAW History
I’m not going to lie, I watched this entire segment standing up 2 feet from my TV. When Shane’s music hit, I leapt off my couch and just could not contain my excitement. WWE is known to pull out all the stops when it comes to WrestleMania season, but this was one of the most genuinely exciting moments in recent memory. A lot of it goes back to what I wrote about Daniel Bryan a few weeks ago. His retirement was so sad because it gives his career a finite end. Wrestling fans want to believe that their favorite wrestler, whether he/she is 20, 30, 40 or 100, will always return. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fantasy booked Shane McMahon returning in my head, and now it’s finally happened. You don’t get feelings like this in other sports. In 10 years from now, Tom Brady isn’t going to come out at halftime of a playoff game if the Patriots QB gets hurts. David Ortiz is going to pinch hit in a World Series game 20 years from now. But in pro wrestling, you never fucking know.
As far as the actual segment goes, LISTEN TO THAT CROWD. That is a pop usually reserves for a Stone Cold or The Rock, but here’s Shane McMahon, in his suit and Jordan’s, shuffling across the stage like never left. Shane was a huge part of the success of the Attitude Era, and he’s involved in a lot of my favorite moments. Shane vs. Kurt Angle at KOTR, Shane falling from the god damn Titan Tron, Shane vs. Vince at WM 17. Now that’s back, he only wants one thing: control of Monday Night Raw. Vince says he can have it under one condition: he must beat The Undertaker in a Hell in a Cell match at WrestleMania.

That, my friends, is how you sell your audience on WrestleMania. Combine this segment with the end segment, which saw HHH brutalize Roman Reigns, and you have to main events that are sure to blow us away. If the Mean Street Posse comes out and helps Shane I might actually burn my house to the ground.
-Ryan
