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Your Average #WWE Elimination Chamber Preview & Predictions
I’m in a little bit of unchartered territory here, as I’ve only seen bits and pieces of the last two Raw’s, but luckily for me the WWE loves to run the same feuds and storylines for six months straight, so I still have a good grasp on what’s going on. Also, this is the second pay per event in the last two weeks, so most of the matches from Payback are staying the same or adding a few participants. WWE Elimination Chamber is live from Corpus Christi, TX this Sunday ONLY on the WWE Network, so if you haven’t signed up for it yet, what exactly are you waiting for? Let’s get to the preview and predictions.
WWE Divas Championship Match – Nikki Bella (C) vs. Paige vs. Naomi
Nikki Bella has more or less dominated the Diva’s division since winning the title at Survivor Series (over 6 months!). She is who the WWE wants to be the face of their Diva’s division and Total Divas, so I can’t see her losing Sunday. There have been reports that HHH/Steph want to change the way Diva’s are portrayed on television, but Vince McMahon is still in charge, and at 70 years old, I doubt he’s going to change the way he feels about how Diva’s fit into his company now. Paige is better than both Naomi and Nikki on the microphone and in the ring, but she doesn’t look like a supermodel, so until the status quo changes, the title won’t change hands. Paige has always been a fan favorite, and I like Naomi’s semi heel turn, but the Diva’s just don’t get enough time in the ring or a chance to build their characters to make anybody interested in this match.
Winner: Nikki Bella. And the Bella Twin split lives to see another day.
Neville vs. Bo Dallas
I think this should have been Neville’s first feud on the main roster, as he and Bo Dallas have history from NXT and work wonderfully together. The ‘inspirational’ Bo Dallas is one of the best characters WWE has. I can’t remember a time he came out to cut a promo or wrestle a match and I wasn’t entertained. He’s so insincere, and so self loathing, and matching him up with a guy who is clearly more confident and physically superior makes him so much better. You can see the insecurities seeping out of Bo Dallas when he works with Neville, and it’s great. As much as I’d love to see a red arrow, Neville is working with a bum leg, and Bo Dallas could use a big pay per view win, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he wins here. I expect this feud to continue over the summer, and I hope it exists in it’s own little bubble where the story gets to progress instead of stay stagnant like most other WWE stories. If WWE is serious about Dallas, then he’ll win here and keep fighting Neville. If they’re not, then Neville will hit the red arrow and Bo will head back to obscurity.
Winner: Bo-Lieve!
Champion vs. Champion Match: John Cena (US Champion) vs. Kevin Owens (NXT Champion)
This one is a tougher pick than it should be. Kevin Owens is the best thing going in the WWE right now. He’s the first reigning NXT champion they’ve featured on WWE TV, and not only is he on WWE TV, he’s getting promo time with Superman. He’s out talked and power bombed Cena two weeks in a row, which is John Cena lingo for ‘I’m beating you at the pay per view’, but I still have some reservations. I’m going to pick Cena to win, but I’m not 100% confident about it. NXT is a real thing now. It’s not developmental. It’s not some show on the WWE Network. It’s an organization that attracts everyone from Rhyno to Tommy Dreamer to Samoa Joe because people want to be apart of it. It’s special, and Kevin Owens is it’s crown jewel at the moment. During this US Championship open tournament Cena’s got going on, he’s given guys like Sami Zayn and Neville showcase matches on Raw, and everyone has said that even in defeat, those guys looked better. The difference here is those guys were baby faces. Cena could beat them and raise their hand and have the crowd cheer for them. I don’t think that’s the case here. Losing does not fit Kevin Owens character, and if he loses clean to Cena here then what happens next? He just goes back to NXT like nothing ever happened? Kevin Owens needs this win. It fits his character to have a showcase win against JOHN CENA. He can brag about it in promo’s until the end of time and it will make him even more insufferable/wonderful. It doesn’t hurt Cena either (because nothing does) and Cena keeps the US title because it’s a non title match. I just convinced myself to pick a guy who’s never fought a pay per view match for the WWE to beat John Cena at a pay per view.
Winner: Kevin Owens.
Tag Team Title Elimination Chamber Match: New Day (C) vs. Every Tag Team
You can eliminate (get it) the Prime Time Players, Ascension, Lucha Dragons & Los Matadores from this match, so it comes down to ‘will the New Day retain’ or ‘will Tyson Kidd & Cesaro win’. Both teams are great, but Cesaro is my guy, so I’m rooting for the Swinging Cats. I’ll be happy if either team wins, and I only have one request: give Cesaro enough time in the Chamber. He has the deepest bag of tricks on the WWE roster, and with the possibility of 10 other guys in the ring, I know he’ll put out some incredible moves. If Cesaro looks like a king and the Swinging Cats lose, I’m ok with that, because New Day is finally finding their footing and should remain a thing forever. If Los Matadores wins, I’ll probably set myself on fire.
Winner: heart > head: Cesaro & Kidd.
IC Title Elimination Chamber Match: King Barrett vs. Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth vs. Rusev* vs. Ryback
I personally think this is the easiest match on the card to predict. You can automatically eliminate Barrett, Ziggler, Ryback and R-Truth from winning. Ryback and Truth are irrelevant, and Barrett and Ziggler lose. That’s their thing. I saw it coming down to Rusev and Sheamus, but now with Rusev possibly out, it could come down Sheamus and Wyatt. Either way, Sheamus has to win here. He debuted with a new look and an awesome entrance song and was finally a bad guy again, yet nothing has happened since he returned. He forced a guy to kiss his ass, then got forced to kiss that guy’s ass. That’s about it. If Daniel Bryan needs a new neck or head or whatever, and John Cena is going to hold the US title until the end of time, put the belt on a tough looking guy and have him matter. As great as most of the matches on this card will be, they’ll only be great because the individuals are so talented. If WWE actually let characters develop and had interesting mini feuds in these matches, they’d be amazing. The only semblance of a mini feud was Ziggler/Rusev, but now that’s not even a thing because my poor Russian hero is hurt. Sheamus wins, and the only other outcome I’ll accept is Wyatt murdering everyone one by one and burning the IC title in the middle of the ring.
Winner: Shay-moose.
WWE Championship Match: Seth Rollins (C) vs. Dean Ambrose
I’m so mad I didn’t think of this, but I hope it happens. If The Shield isn’t going to fully unite, other than that awesome triple bomb moment at Payback, then what’s the next best thing? Reuniting two of them. Ambrose is a lone wolf and honestly has too much personality to be part of a trio. He was great in the Shield, but he thrives on his own, and it actually works. Roman Reigns, on the other hand, was made to be apart of a group. He’s like an Arn Anderson if Arn Anderson never used a microphone before. I don’t think he should be the guy, but being the guy’s best friend and enforcer? That fits him perfectly. My friend predicted a Reigns heel turn, joining Rollins and the Authority and being their new enforcer figure. It makes sense on a couple levels. Reigns and Ambrose are buddies, but ever since Mania, Ambrose has gotten the opportunities while Reigns has played second fiddle. Reigns still hasn’t gotten his one on one match with Rollins but Ambrose has one? That wouldn’t sit well with me. The Authority needs a new ‘Kane’ because this version of Kane sucks and he should not be the focus of anything, especially not the main event. How long are you going to tease tension with Rollins and Kane before there’s a payoff? Wouldn’t the best possible payoff be Rollins reuniting with his SWAT team brother and Kane literally burning in hell? Ambrose and Reigns have been very buddy buddy lately, and Reigns even bailed him out of jail Monday night. It all makes too much sense and it might not happen, but I hope it does. As far as the match, these guys are great in the ring together, and while Ambrose’s character has been headed to wacky land again, there’s no doubt they’ll have a great match in the main event.
Winner: and still WWE Champion, Seth Rollins.
– Ryan
Big Ben Had a Blast at The Royal Rumble Last Night
Shifty eyes Ben, they call him. Total “heel” face right here. That clowns days are numbered if Big Ben finds out he photo bombed him.
Get this guy in the ring. I bet Big Ben could manhandle some of the WWE Superstars.
Oh god. He’s hammered. Someone please follow him into the bathroom.
-Matt
Monday Night Raw Recap – 9/16/13
And we’re live from Cleveland, Ohio!
[RAW opens up with the new WWE champion Daniel Bryan. HHH then brings out the referee from the WWE championship, Scott Armstrong, to talk about his “fast count”. Looks like we have the Chris Jericho screw job part 2.]
Daniel Bryan refuses to give up the title, as the crowd chants “NO”. As HHH tries to grab the title away from Bryan, Orton sneaks in for an RKO. Cleveland seemed less upset when Lebron left town. Orton stands tall in the ring as HHH leaves with the title.
[Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose (Non Title)]
Ziggler wins with the Zig Zag. Dolph Ziggler might be in the best shape a human being can be in. Great back and forth in this match, and let’s hope this feud continues, because they put on terrific matches. I still haven’t decided if Dean Ambrose reminding me of a serial killer is a good or a bad thing.
[We come back from commercial and Steph McMahon is laying the guilt trip on Show pretty heavily, as usual]
[Fandango vs. R Truth]
R Truth grabs the momentum early on. Fandango quickly rallies back and goes for the quick pin. 2 count. Fandango has really gotten comfortable in the ring during Monday Night Raw and playing to the crowd has always been his strong point. Momentum back to Truth, who has really stood the test of time in the WWE. Hasn’t lost a step. Fandango hits the big leg drop off the top rope and pins Truth for a 3-count. Sweet, sweet Summer Rae, be my wife.
[Dusty Rhodes is shown backstage with Booker T and some of the talent. “The American Dream” will take the mic next!]
Never forget:
Dusty Rhodes’ theme song is still top 3 all time. Also, his forehead is haunting. Always a strong segment when you fit a Bed Bath & Beyond reference in there. Stephanie makes Dusty decide between Dustin and Cody’s career. This a great twist to the storyline. Gives this story an entirely different dynamic. SiERRA HOTEL INDIA ECHO LIMA DELTA! Here comes The Shield! Dusty may earn another slice to that forehead after this is over. And now here comes the Big Show. This is now the weirdest combination of people ever. Steph orders Big Show to knock out Dusty. The Big Show being poor is now my favorite storyline of all-time. Steph says if Show doesn’t knock out Dusty, The Shield will beat him with chairs. Not the ideal situation to be stuck in. Big Show knocks out Dusty. I’ve seen the Big Show cry way too often this month. Dusty was great in this segment.
[6 Diva tag match – Brie Bella, Funkadactyls vs. Alicia Fox, Aksana & Layla]
AJ and Natalya were on commentary. This match was super short. Probably a good thing.
[Sandow vs. RVD]
Sandow comes out with his briefcase, and RVD comes out with his personal ring announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez. I like Ricardo, I really do, but how long can this personal ring announcer thing go for him? Quick match, RVD hits the insane frog splash off the top rope
[HHH fires referee Scott Armstrong]
[Randy Orton vs. The Miz]
The Miz is the hometown boy tonight, and he gets a good ovation from the crowd. He goes over to kiss his mom and dad who are easily the weirdest looking couple in the world.
Orton attacks The Miz, much to the chagrin of Mr. Miz’s two chins. Segment ends with DDT on the outside, following a knee to the back of Miz’s head while it was locked in a chair. I can’t stop rewinding back to the part with Miz’s parents. Scary face city.
{Paul Heyman promo with Ryback]
Great promo by Heyman, who came out clean shaven but in a wheelchair. selling the caning by Punk the night before. Ryback speaks and says he doesn’t like bowleys. Whatever that is. Heyman seals the promo with a kiss on the check, and now we will forever have this photo:
[Tag Team Turmoil: Uso’s vs. Tons of Funk vs. Real Americans]
Really good match. Cool spot with Tensai delivering a delayed suplex to Cesaro. Tons of Funk eliminated first. Cesaro then pulls of the big swing, reminiscent of last week vs. Santino. He really needs a push. The Uso’s ass to the face has to be low on the list I’d move I’d wanna take. Nice ending sequence: Jimmy Uso is on the top rope, and Jay Uso tags in just as Swagger runs up and throws Jimmy to the mat. Jey Uso then frog splashes Swagger for the win. I’m starting to believe Zeb Colter is an actual racist.
[Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns]
Great match. Reigns seems to get better as the weeks go by. Bryan had Reigns in the “Yes lock” but Orton interfered. The rest of The Shield join Orton in the ring and beat down Bryan. Orton goes to the outside and grabs a chair to finish the job on Bryan. Out comes the locker room for the save! Reigns hits a HUGE spear on Kofi, but The Shield are finally outnumbered. Ziggler hits a fame-asser on Ambrose, and RVD nails Reigns with a reverse spin kick. Daniel Bryan hits the flying knee on Rollins as the superstars put Bryan on their shoulders and we go off the air.
