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Best Sports Illustrated Cover of All Time?

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Big Papi with the Boston bombings first responders? You’re damn right it is. Sorry Kate, this even beats out your swimsuit covers.

-MattyV

PS- Worst SI Cover?

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‘True Detective’ Looks Like the Next Smash Hit From HBO

It looks like HBO really does have a green thumb for original series. Starring Woody Harrelson and Matt “Dreamboat” McConaughey, True Detective follows two detectives as they hunt for a serial killer over a 16-year span. The first season will consist of 8 episodes, and if all goes well season 2 is said be shot “American Horror Story style”. Meaning it would have a whole new plot and characters. I can only imagine what HBO has in the pipeline for this show, and I can only dream of who else they could cast in the following seasons! That’s what I call a BOOM BABY. Look for it January 2014.

-MattyV

PS- HBO, if you are reading this, Ryan and I would like to put our hats in the ring for the parts of the next two detectives. We are a little rough around the edges, but we will allow being paid with a wrestling ring or beer (or both).

David Mangum Has Been Busy Lately

KANSAS CITY — A Missouri man was arraigned Thursday on charges that he recklessly infected a  sexual partner with the virus that causes AIDS, and a prosecutor said he  potentially could have infected 300 more people in two states.

David  Mangum, 37, faces a felony charge in Stoddard County Circuit Court in  southeastern Missouri accusing him of exposing a 29-year-old man to human  immunodeficiency virus (HIV), which causes a life-threatening failure of the  immune system commonly known as AIDS, according to court documents.

As  well, Mangum admitted to having unprotected sex with more than 300 partners in  Missouri and Texas since learning he was HIV positive in 2003, some of whom he  had met through ads on the Craigslist Internet site, the court documents said.

“This situation is a serious public health concern,” Russell Oliver,  Stoddard County prosecuting attorney, said in a statement. “There are  potentially 300 or more unknown victims that have been unknowingly exposed to  HIV in this region. If any of those 300 individuals contracted the virus, all  sexual partners of those victims have potentially been exposed.”

Mangum,  who worked in a grocery store in Dexter, Missouri, was arrested after his former  partner learned in July that he was HIV positive. The man told police that  Mangum had lied about having the virus.

Dexter Police Detective Cory  Mills said Mangum told him he hid his HIV status from sexual partners because he  feared they would reject him.

Mangum was assigned a public defender and  his bail was set $250,000.

So a grocery store worker that looks like this:

Has had sex with 300 people in the last 10 years. 300 is a lot right? Almost seems like an astronomical number to me. Am I doing something wrong? Graduate college, get a respectable job. Apparently I need to let myself go and work at a grocery store. That’s where the actions is. I mean what’re the odds someone who looks like that will have sex with that many people? 0.2%? And of course he just so happens to be HIV positive. Having sex with people when you knowingly have HIV is a pretty horrible thing to do. Wrap it up man. You obviously have this magnetic charm that allows you to have sex with 300 people. Gift and a curse I suppose.

– Ryan

Lady’s Apartment Catches On Fire, Then Cops Steal Her Pot

EAST PROVIDENCE, R.I. (AP) — Authorities discovered four pounds of marijuana after firefighters put out a blaze in an East Providence providing.

The Providence Journal (http://bit.ly/1aiZAg1 ) reports that the fire broke out around 11 a.m. Tuesday in a three-story building that houses a liquor store and apartments.

Police Lt. William Nebus says firefighters discovered growing lights used for marijuana and called police.

Police say while some residents of the building had medical marijuana cards, they are only allowed to have up to 12 plants and 2.5 ounces each.

A 22-year-old woman was arrested. Her name was not immediately released.

Talk about getting kicked while you’re down. “Hey lady your apartment was on fire. Good news is we put out the blaze. Bad news is we confiscated all your weed.” Fire is bad enough. But if there is one thing that can turn a bad situation around it’s a boat load of weed. Pop in a few funny movies, eat your face off. Now she just has to sit in jail thinking about her burnt apartment and the weed that could’ve been. Hell on Earth.

– Ryan

Cheaters, A Rhode Island Institution, Is Closing

(Source) PROVIDENCE — A strip club where a missing Boston 15-year-old girl was found dancing in July is up for sale — along with the adjoining adult bookstore, strip club, gay bathhouse and “personal service club.”

Cheaters Gentlemens Club, at 245 Allens Ave., faces a possible closure by the city license board for hiring an underage girl and for the arrest of a dancer who allegedly solicited an undercover detective.

The big pink strip club is part of the “adult entertainment center” listed on stripclubs4sale.com with an asking price of $8 million. The ad says the business and real estate — strip clubs, bookstore, megaplex club, “personal service club,” and two vacant spaces — are valued at $11.23 million.

“This is an outstanding business opportunity that offers cash flow in excess of $2.5 million!”

The ad doesn’t give the exact location in Providence or reveal the names of the businesses, but the description only fits the Allens Avenue properties owned by H. Charles Tapalian and registered to him and his family: Cheaters, Studio 253, Mega-Plex, Adult Video & News, and The Body Shoppe, all listed at 245, 253, and 257 Allens Ave.

Tapalian refused to speak to a Providence Journal reporter Thursday regarding the sale.

The advertisement went up on July 22, a week before the police found an underage Boston girl dancing at Cheaters. The teen was accompanied by a Massachusetts sex offender, who the police say put her to work in the club and was acting as a pimp for her and another 15-year-old girl.

The Providence police say that the teen solicited an undercover detective — and a week later, on Aug. 8, one of the veteran dancers did the same, saying the fee was payable to her and “the house.”

Tapalain closed Cheaters the next day, and a sign was hung on the door that the club was “closed for renovations.” There are no recent permits for renovations at the property on file at the city Building Department.

The city license board is expected to hold a hearing on Cheaters on Sept. 16. Providence police Capt. Anthony Sauro said the police want the club shut down. He says the club violated state law and city ordinance by hiring an underage girl and violated the city ordinance against chronic nuisance properties.

Cheaters came under investigation in 2009, after a 16-year-old runaway from Boston told Providence police that she’d been working at the strip club. That led to a city ordinance and state law banning anyone under 18 from working in the adult entertainment business. Licensed establishments that violate the ordinance face fines of up to $500 for a first offense and up to $1,000 for subsequent offenses.

City Council President Michael A. Solomon, who sponsored that ordinance, plans to introduce legislation next week to require the sex businesses to get criminal-background checks on prospective employees to verify their ages.

Is nothing sacred? Cheaters is where dreams came true. I got my first lap dance there at 16 and I wasn’t even the youngest one there. That’s an important moment in a young mans life, and now you’re my throwing my memories in the trash. I’m legitimately heartbroken. Although I never knew they had a gay bathhouse on site. Turning down an offer from a stripper to head into the bathhouse now ranks pretty high on my list of things I’m glad I refused to do.

– Ryan

P.S. Imagine the surprise of the out of town businessman who reads that ad in the paper and shows up to Cheaters. I’ve heard you get syphillis just by looking at the stage.

Florida Refuses To Give Up “Craziest State” Title

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“When 62-year-old Peggy Hill reportedly laid a wet one on a police officer, she basically kissed her freedom goodbye. The Florida woman was arrested for allegedly kissing a cop on the nose Saturday evening and jailed on charges of felony battery of a law enforcement officer. Authorities were responding to a report of an altercation between Hill and one of her Bradenton neighbors when the smooch reportedly took place. According to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office arrest report, obtained by The Smoking Gun, Sgt. Randy Lamb was speaking to Hill when she suddenly leaned in and kissed him on the nose. “[S]he approached him and kissed him on his nose against his will. He stepped away from her, wiped off the saliva from his nose, attempted to take her into custody and she started to struggle with him,” an assisting officer wrote in the report. Deputies noted that Hill later allegedly admitted to drinking about three glasses of wine prior to the debacle, the Sun-Sentinel reports. A search of the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office website reveals that Hill is still in custody on $5,000 bond.” – HuffPost

Florida just refuses to quit. First it was the potato chip thief, then the brotherly love incident involving a guy stabbing his brother over mac n’ cheese. Now we have Peggy Hill a.k.a. Mickey Rourke in a wig, arrested for kissing a cop on the nose. Seriously what is happening in Florida. I thought it was where our grandparents went when they retired and gave up on life. Apparently its filled with criminal masterminds who’s only skill is getting arrested under bizarre circumstances. Can’t really blame the cop here. If someone looking like that was kissing me I would arrest her on the spot and then cut my nose off. Face like a halibut.

– Ryan

P.S. Way to ruin Peggy Hill’s good name

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3 Things Give Me Faith In Humanity

This world is full of hate and uncertainty. But, among the rubble of a society tearing itself apart there are beacons of hope I look to.  Once these are gone then we have truly lost our way.

  1. The High Beam Flash – Your speeding down a road when suddenly someone coming from the opposite way flashes you with their high beams.  You immediately slow down and sure enough right around the corner is a cop, just waiting to tag you will a $100+ dollar speeding ticket.  EVEN IF YOU WERE ONLY GOING 8 OVER TH…….never mind, I digress. This is the ultimate “help thy neighbor” move.  Not to mention I’m pretty sure it’s one of the Ten Commandments.  Yeah, something like: “Thou shalt always warn a fellow driver when a pig layith in wait around a bend”.  I read that…in a book.
  2. YouTube Videos –  Here’s the scenario, you are setting up your new wifi router and cant get it to work.  Obviously you already threw out the manual (who reads those fucking things anyway) so you are kinda screwed.  But wait! The best resource on how-to’s since Google is right in front of you; YouTube.  The amount of tutorial videos on Youtube is insane to me! How in the world do these people have the time to build and review a piece of furniture they got from Ikea?! Don’t get me wrong, i’m not complaining.  I use these videos all the time and I salute the people who make them.  Maybe i’ll start making some helpful Youtube videos and stop posting videos of my friends getting hurt. I said MAYBE.
  3. Halloween –  (Credit to Tom Pags) Halloween is the one time of year when people can go door to door to complete strangers house and get free candy! And on the flip side people are opening up their doors to complete strangers dressed at David Bowie and giving them free stuff!  Any other time of the year and you are telling those people to take a hike, or in some parts of the country, blowing their heads off with a .22.  Other holidays you are only giving to people you know but on Halloween you give to everyone.  When Halloween goes, thats when you know its time to panic.  A little “FYI” for ya. If your house gives apples you are not participating in Halloween; take a hike.

-MattyV

Jaime Neil Robbing Gas Stations Like It Ain’t No Thing

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Meet Jaime Neil. The man who robbed a UK gas station wearing a clear plastic bag. I’m no master thief, but you learn in robbery 101 to hide your identity. Its 2013 Jaime, there are literally camera’s anywhere. Disguising yourself with a plastic bag is literally the worst way to hide your identity. To add insult to injury, Jaime used his cell phone as a fake gun, only to have it start ringing during the holdup. Whoever taught Jaime how to rob must be shaking their head in disgust. Just a poor excuse for a thief. Maybe try your hand at another illegal activity, like selling drugs or smuggling guns. You’re embarassing those who take robbery seriously.

– Ryan

P.S. I’m glad this guy isn’t from Florida. They were starting to max out on their crazy.

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