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Leave Jonah Alone!

jonahalone

Paparazzi are probably regular people just like you and me, but I hate them still. Why do they feel it to be necessary to follow Jonah Hill down the street while he is walking with one of his buddies. I don’t get it, he isn’t doing anything video worthy, he is just walking down the street. The only explanation for them to be filming him and prodding him with dumb questions is so that he will have the reaction at the end of this clip, and guess what? it’s all over the internet now. Mission accomplished, you pieces of shit. LEAVE JONAH ALONE!

-Matt

PS- When I get super famous for my portrayal as Harry Stamper in the remake of “Armageddon”, I am going to let the paparazzi take all the pictures and video they want right from the word “go”. That way i’ll be old news by week two of my superstardom. Game, set, Vieira.

 

 

 

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Kanye West Hates Camera’s

I’m not a big fan of Kanye. He makes great music, but so do a lot of other people and they’re not the world’s biggest dickhead. I also hate the paparazzi. They’re like the worst villain in your favorite TV show. With that said, I’m on Kanye’s side on this one. It must be so aggravating being followed around by camera’s and asked dumb ass questions everywhere you go. For those of you saying “he’s famous, it’s the price of fame”, go find a highway and play in traffic. You’re telling me that he has to deal with this constant bullshit just because he happens to love music and is better at making it than 99.9% of the people on the planet? I think that’s wrong. I think we should even the playing field. If you’re a paparazzi, anytime you go out in public to hunt down celebrities you should be automatically stripped of your civil rights. They’re already animals, so let’s adopt the rules of the animal kingdom. Kill or be killed. You want a breaking story? How about I punchasize your face..for free.

My only problem with Kanye in this video is that his wrestling approach is all wrong. You need to get close to the paparazzi, about an arm’s length away, but you can’t seem too threatening. Talk to the person calmy, then put your head in your hands, and when they let their guard down, you hit them with sweet chin music. A superkick right to the jaw. Guarantee they’ll be out cold. Then you hover over them and speak the magic words: “if you’re not down with that, I got two words for ya…suck it.”

– Ryan

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