If You’re Not Following Kuli The One Eyed Surfing Cat On Instagram Then What The Hell Are You Doing With Your Life?
This is a serious question: why are you not following Kuli the one eyed surfing cat? If you willingly knew about this cat and decided not to follow it on Instagram and watch it’s videos then you’re a monster. Plain and simple. A one eyed cat is badass enough, but a one eyed surfing cat? I’d watch a movie, TV show, YouTube series or any other kind of video with a one eyed surfing cat in a heartbeat. I’m a two eyed human and I can’t surf, which is a topic for another day, but still shows you how impressive this feline is. My girlfriend has been begging me for a cat for almost two years, and I swear to Bill Paxton if I ever come into contact with Kuli she’s coming home with me.
It was bound to happen sooner or later: An anonymous woman has claimed to the Arizona-based gossip and nudies site The Dirty that she carried on an explicit online affair with mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner — after he was busted and forced to resign from Congress for the exact same thing. “She was lured by Anthony Weiner post scandal via Facebook,” wrote the site’s editor Nik Ritchie yesterday. “They had a relationship for 6 months and she believed they were in love … The relationship consisted of Anthony Weiner and Anonymous sending sexually explicit pictures of each other and having sexual conversations via phone. The best part was Anthony used an alias this time thinking this would protect him. Anthony Weiner used the name ‘Carlos Danger’ when he would email pictures of his penis via Yahoo.” -NYMag.com
Anthony Weiner is at it again, but hold on one HOT SECOND. Carlos Danger? Really. That’s the name you’re going with? All this time I thought Anthony Weiner was just a dick pic machine, but now I know for sure……that he is also a genius! What an Alias! I wish I had gotten to it sooner. Back in the day, when you tried to impress all your friends with clever AIM names, this one would have killed it! All the girlies would have been crawling all over my AIM profile.
Ok, so Weiner not only gets right back on the sexting express (NSFW) but his defense is totally weak. “I said that other texts and photos were likely to come out, and today they have.” That’s all you got, Weiner? I’ll remember that next time I go on a dick pic killing spree, or any other other crime wave. “I told you, officer, that I might rob another liquor store, and today I have. That”s all on you.” Not exactly somehting that will stand up in court. At least not in Rhode Island….cough cough….i’m looking at you Florida.
PS- This is isn’t the last time we will hear about Anthony Weiner’s Dick. Mark my words.
PSS- This is what I imagine Carlos Danger looks like (Via Twitter)