Advertisements

Blog Archives

Shaun White Won The 100th Gold Medal In USA #Olympic History Last Night

Heading into yesterday’s competition, Norway was the only country in Olympic history with 100+ gold medals. Thanks to Shaun White’s gold medal in snowboard half pipe, that list now includes the USA.

Shaun White Snowboard Half Pipe Gold Medal Run

Shaun White also won gold in the snowboard half pipe in 2010, and his performance last night was just as special. While winning a gold medal on it’s own is amazing, winning the 100th gold medal in US Olympics history has to feel extra special. For those of you that thought White would get to enjoy his gold medal, you must have forgotten the culture we live in. Some news outlets decided to bring up past sexual harassment allegations. Some decided to rag on him for dragging the American flag on the ground. Granted that was Fox News, but unfortunately they have a cult like following on social media.

The sexual harassment stuff I understand because that’s what we do now. Our culture loves to sit on things until the person does something you THINK we can universally love. Then they beat you to death with all the awful things that person has done so no one can be happy, not even for a second. As far as the flag dragging, it was obviously accidental, and if you’re relying on Fox News for your political takes you’re already too far gone.

Congratulations to Shaun White on another Olympic gold medal. The opposite of congratulations to our society for sucking the fun out of everything.

-Ryan

Advertisements

#MusicMonday: April Meservy & Aaron Edson – With or Without You (U2 Cover)

The 2018 Winter Olympics are now in full swing. The opening ceremony was Friday night and the action has continued through the weekend. During the mixed ice skating event on Thursday, Team Canada decided to skate to a haunting cover of the U2 song ‘With or Without You’. I wasn’t sure who was signing the cover version, but Twitter came to my rescue almost immediately.

April Meservy & Aaron Edson – With or Without You (U2 Cover)

Saying April Meservy has the voice of an angel is an understatement. This song isn’t going to boost your mood, but goddamn is it beautiful. Team Canada might not win gold in ice skating, but they’ve definitely struck gold with their song selection. Have a great day on purpose everybody.

-Ryan

Here’s Your Daily Reminder That Usain Bolt Is Very God Damn Fast

Usain Bolt participated in some kind of running world championships this week and of course he won. In all seriousness, whens the last time this guy lost? It’s not like he plays a sport where he can have an off day and get beat. He’s faster than everyone, which is the main quality you need when you’re just running in a semi circle. He even lets up a little bit at the end and still wins by a healthy margin. Maybe the Red Sox can sign him and make him an official base runner or something. Or have him commentate because ownership hates us (I’ll never be over you, Don).

-Ryan

NBC Will Be Broadcasting The Olympics Through 2032, Which Means One Thing: More Bob Costas Pink Eye

Bobby Boy“NBC has secured the U.S. broadcast rights to the Olympics through 2032 in a record six-games deal worth $7.75 billion.

NBC already holds the rights through the 2020 Olympics in a four-games deal signed in 2011 for $4.38 billion.

 The latest deal was announced Wednesday after secret negotiations between the IOC and NBC. There was no auction or open bidding this time, with only NBC making an offer.

The negotiations were led by International Olympic Committee President Thomas Bach.

Bach says “this agreement is excellent news for the entire Olympic Movement as it helps to ensure its financial security in the long term.”

image

I dislike Bob Costas. Immensely. If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with  Bob Costas, Osama Bin Laden and Hitler I’d shoot Bob Costa twice. But if I have to put up with him for six more Olympic games I can only hope he continues to get pink eye. How great would that be? Every Olympics Bob Costas welcomes us to the games then immediately gets pink eye. He struggles through the first couple of days until it spreads to his other eye and he’s forced to stop broadcasting like this year. Pink eye is curable so it’s not like he’d be contracting this deadly disease. Everybody wins, except Bob Costas. It’d be the best running joke in Olympics history and I, for one, would enjoy it a lot. I don’t know how, but I need NBC to make this happen. If you’ve got $7 Billion I’m sure you can find a way to give your Olympic broadcaster pink eye.

– Ryan

Staying With the Vodka Posts: This NEEDS to be an Olympic Event

This NEEDS to be included in the 2016 summer games. Chug a bottle of vodka and swim a lap? Genius! I’m not saying it isn’t dangerous, because i’m pretty sure it is, no, I know it is, but how entertaining would this be? Super entertaining. However, I do have an amendment to the rules. A whole bottle seems like a bit much to drink. if this was an actual rule there is no way anyone would beat the Russian team. Just wouldn’t happen. Those gargantuans are bred for drinking vodka. So, in the name of safety, lets say you drink a fifth and then swim your laps. That seems much more reasonable.

-Matt

Let’s Go USA Hockey!

We’ll be following along vicariously through our Twitter feed (@averagenobodies) but that doesn’t mean we can’t show some good old fashioned American pride. Down with the Czechs!

– Average Nobodies

Monster Blog Wednesday – New Olympic Events

olympic ringsAll this Olympic stuff on the TV has got The Average Nobodies thinking (and that can be dangerous). We were thinking why watch the same events over and over and over again? We want some variety with our world-wide winter sporting events. So here it goes, The Average Nobodies are creating two all-new Winter Olympics events we hope get picked up by the time the next time these games roll around.

Freestyle Snow Angels

4b875c81-2c95-4fe0-8c60-adbf0344a0b4

Easy addition to the winter Olympics. What was the first thing I did when I saw fresh pow pow as a kid? Fall-ass first into it and start making snow angels like a madman of course. No snow day was complete until I made 1,000,000 Matt angels in my front lawn. Just pure ecstasy.

Now fast forward 20 years and i’m ready to take my talents to the big league. Snow angels will be scored on 3 facets: Entry, form, and exit.

Entry is exactly how it sounds; How gracefully can you get into snow angel position? Flopping Bron Bron style isn’t going to cut it. Put some showmanship in your routine. Form is how you flap them arms and legs. Judges are looking for 3 things: RHYTHM, RHYTHM, RHYTHM. Don’t just flap wildly. That’s not going to get you the gold. Lastly, judges will be judging you on your exit. How carefully can you get up so that you don’t screw up your masterpiece. This was always is hardest feat to complete and scoring will be weighted as such. Make the perfect snow angel and even YOU could be an Olympic hero.

Just don’t count on the gold; i’m taking that home at every Olympics until I die. Nobody makes a snow angel like Big Fudge.

-Matt

Dodge Beer

I’ve been lobbying for this to become an Olympic event for years. It’s the greatest drinking game in history, and it deserves to take it’s rightful spot in the Olympic games. Beer drinkers have been ignored for centuries when it comes to Olympic events. Just because we enjoy a few beers here and there doesn’t mean we should be shunned from glory. Dodge beer is a simple game. 4 citizens from every country form a team. The game is played 4 via 4, with 4 beer cans each (8 total), a ping pong ball and a picnic table. The best beer drinkers win. Simple as that for your simple ass. Instead of gold, silver and bronze medals, winning countries get free beer for specific time periods.

Bronze – 1 year

Silver – 5 years

Gold – 4 lyfe

– Ryan

Bob Costas Might Actually Be Dying

image

 

Dramatic eagle gif

Pull yourself together Costas! You’re scaring the children. I know he’s trying to soldier on here but it looks like he needs some serious medical treatment. How can he see the teleprompter? Somebody get him to a hospital ASAP. At this point, the only thing that could save Costas’s broadcast would be a double eye patch. They cure all ills.

– Ryan

%d bloggers like this: