Blog Archives
Ignition Square Off: Jimmy Fallon Ragtime vs. Dave Chappelle’s R. Kelly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2LiFsdrXF4&feature=youtube_gdata_player
vs.
Who are we kidding, Dave Chappelle’s wins by a country mile, but Jimmy Fallon is still el hombre. Once I saw the video of Fallon singing Ignition in ragtime I immediately thought of Chappelle’s spoof version. Haters gonna hate. Lovers gonna love. I don’t even want, none of the above I want to piss on you. I think I just found my wedding song.
– Ryan
Bob Costas Might Actually Be Dying
Pull yourself together Costas! You’re scaring the children. I know he’s trying to soldier on here but it looks like he needs some serious medical treatment. How can he see the teleprompter? Somebody get him to a hospital ASAP. At this point, the only thing that could save Costas’s broadcast would be a double eye patch. They cure all ills.
– Ryan
Goodbye Justin Bieber
Source – Justin Bieber is in trouble – again.
The pop star was arrested early Thursday for drag racing and DUI in Miami Beach, police confirmed on Twitter. Police say R&B artist Khalil was also arrested.
Bieber was charged with resisting arrest and had consumed alcohol and marijuna, reports AP.
Bieber, 19, was in a rented yellow Lamborghini.
A while ago I wrote about the slow and steady downfall that Justin Bieber was going through. Now before I get started here, I want it to be clear that I could care less if this guy fails. He’s 19 and he’s already made more money than me, slept with more girls and is one of the most recognizable people on the planet. I’m just here to call a spade a spade. You want to know why Justin Bieber is going to fail? Because he lacks the one thing that every famous person had who fucked up and got their life back together: resiliency. He got discovered on YouTube by Usher, made a cute popsy song that attracted literally the easiest audience to attract (young girls) and got a boatload of fame and fortune thrown in his face. Now that the shit is hitting the fan, he wants his bodyguards and inner circle to make everything go away like it’s a bad dream. Unfortunately for him, it’s real life.
Do you ever wonder why so many child actors/musicians have fucked up lives? Because a 16, 17, 18, 19 year old shouldn’t be living in Los Angeles or Hollywood where the vices outnumber pretty much anything good or moral you’re trying to accomplish. That’s why it’s always great to see someone like Justin Timberlake, who got famous young (17 when NSync started taking off), but kept his head above water and turned into an other worldly talent. DUI’s are becoming so common for celebrities that Bieber may get off the hook for this one, go back to making his music for teenage girls, and have a good career. But if I were a betting man, I’d say this is just the beginning of something bad.
Back to the resiliency angle. Does Justin Bieber strike you as someone who deals with animosity well? The same kid who had his bodyguards carry him up the Great Wall of China doesn’t seem like he’s taking the backlash in stride. Again, his bread and butter IS MAKING SONGS FOR TEENAGE GIRLS. Even at the peak of his fame, no one took this guy seriously. So now that everything is going wrong, who does he lean on to get his shit right? If I had cameras in my face 24/7 while websites like TMZ were dissecting my every move, I’d probably lose my mind too. In a way, its kind of sad to see a 19 year old with the world by the balls just be such an idiot and an asshole. Between the constant bad press, on and off retirement and the general dismay people my age or older have for him, it’s going to be a long road back to the top. Like I said, I’m not rooting for him to fail, but at this point, I don’t see any other outcome.
– Ryan
Kate McKinnon Might Actually Be Justin Bieber
That’s as good a Justin Bieber impression as you’ll ever see. Cherry on the ice cream was the fact that she actually looked like Bieber. There’s talent, and then there’s Kate McKinnon. FYI, the entire Drake hosted episode of SNL was awesome. Drake just got his newest and most deranged fan.
– Ryan
Happy Birthday Seth Meyers
Happy Birthday you handsome devil. Though SNL will miss you, I’m sure you’ll knock the late night hosting gig out of the park. Fly away my sweet prince. Fly away and be free.
The Most Emotional Scene in TV History
After doing the Michael vs. Toby blog I could not stop looking at clips of The Office. If you are a true fan of the show, or have a heart, this scene makes you weep every time.
I could watch this video 1,000,000 times and never get sick of it.
-MattyV
4 Reasons Why Ron Swanson is the Best Mentor We’ve Ever Had
1. The Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness
– Every great man needs a pyramid of greatness. Unwritten rule of life. This is how boys become men, and men become heroes. Ever heard of a hero drinking skim milk? Neither have I.
2. Eat Like a Champion, Live Like a Champion
– Steaks, eggs, bacon. If you can’t succeed on that diet, maybe you’re not cut out for life in the fast lane. I know for a fact that if I only ate steak, bacon and eggs during my childhood I’d be a professional athlete. Or dead. Either way, Ron Swanson is right.
3. The Power of the Mustache
– Behind every mediocre man, you’ll find a great man with a mustache. Teddy Roosevelt, Martin Luther King, Jr, Tom Selleck, Freddie Mercury, Ron Swanson. All American heroes. All hall of fame mustaches.
4. The Best Government is No Government At All
– I’m not saying the government shutdown wouldn’t have happened if Ron Swanson was in charge, but there’s a good chance it wouldn’t have happened. That’s the beauty of the pyramid of greatness: it’s useful in ever facet of life, including the government. Combine that with his eating habits and panty dropping mustache, and you have the greatest mentor in the history of the world.
– Ryan
