Blog Archives
I’m Gonna Need These Picnic Pants ASAP
Are you shitting me? This is pure brilliance. No more towels. No more stupid blankets. Granted I don’t go on many picnics, but if you’re only using these pants on picnics you’re wasting it’s potential. Going to the movies? Let me put on my picnic pants and go to town on some popcorn. Spontaneous snack time? Picnic pants turning friends into jealous zealots. I need these.picnic pants and I will have these picnic pants. End of story.
– Ryan
Follow Our Tweets! – @AverageNobodies
For new stories and other breaking news you might miss on our blog, follow our twitter account!
#WWEStudios and #Lionsgate have green-lit “See No Evil 2”. WWE Superstar, Kane, will reprise his role.Get the Wyatts! pic.twitter.com/rceFkMJHV3
— The Average Nobodies (@AverageNobodies) August 6, 2013
-MattyV
Netflix Must Watch: “Roman Polanski: Wanted And Desired”
It’s fascinating to think how huge certain stories would be if covered by the 21st century media. The same media that glorifies criminals and turns murder cases into spectacles would no doubt have a field day with the famed director. I couldn’t tell you if many people in my age bracket (20-25) have ever heard of Roman Polanski, but I can tell you I’ve never had a conversation about him with friends. Although his story is one of the most fascinating and disturbing in American film history, it seems as if his struggle has been put on the back burner in exchange for the constant updates on the Bieber’s and Lohan’s of the world. From the tragic murder of his wife, to the scandal that forced him to flee the United States, Wanted and Desired provides an in depth look at a star’s fall from grace. Do yourself a favor and block off 90 minutes of your time for Marina Zenovich’s documentary. You’ll be glad you did.
– Ryan
From Now On I’m Only Traveling Via DeLorean’s
Some people wake up and live an average, 9-5 type of life. Then there’s Rick Weissensel. Rick makes people’s dreams come true. Now that I’ve found him and his marvelous creations, I think it’s only right that I go into horrible debt and purchase everything he makes. Heading to the mall? I think I’ll take my DeLorean Hummer. Got an exclusive lake party/polo match to attend? Seems only right to take my DeLorean stretch limousine. If I ever want to be a royal asshole and ruin everyone’s perfect beach day I can take my DeLorean hovercraft right into the Atlantic Ocean. As a Back To The Future Fan and general lover of Michael J. Fox, this is a dream come true. Someone needs to push Rick to make a DeLorean airplane. That’s when the real fun starts.
– Ryan
P.S. What a Monday. I’ve discovered I’m a lake person and found my new mode of transportation. That’s what I call a boom baby.
“Rocky” Spinoff In The Works
EXCLUSIVE: MGM is setting Ryan Coogler to direct Creed, and the studio is in early talks with Coogler’s Fruitvale Station star Michael B. Jordan to play the grandson of Apollo Creed in a continuation of the Rocky saga that Coogler is going to write with Aaron Covington. Sylvester Stallone will reprise Rocky Balboa as a retired fighter-turned-trainer. This comes in the wake of a strong summer platform opening for Fruitvale Station, the film that won both the Grand Jury Prize and the Audience Awards at Sundance, and captured Prize Of The Future at the Cannes Film Festival, where Coogler and Jordan were the toast of the Croisette. Coogler intends for this to be his directorial follow-up to Fruitvale Station so the intention is to make it happen quickly. Now, I know the knee-jerk reaction is to say it’s hard to get excited about what amounts to the seventh film in the Rocky series. This feels different to me, mostly because of how it came together. Much the same way that Coogler burned with the desire to tell the tragic story of Oscar Grant in his feature debut and begged Jordan to play the role in the $900,000 budget film, this whole idea also came from Coogler. When he signed with WME, Coogler identified Creed as a dream project. While Coogler already had the relationship with Jordan, the agency put him together with Stallone. Stallone, who is right now heavily involved in a stage musical transfer of his original Oscar-winning 1976 film Rocky, loved the idea and felt it was strong enough for him to bring back his signature screen character. Stallone and Coogler then approached MGM’s Gary Barber and Jon Glickman, and they flipped for it. The film will be produced by Irwin Winkler and Robert Chartoff, who produced the original, along with Stallone and Kevin King. The intention is for Jordan to play the grandson of Apollo Creed (played in the early movies by Carl Weathers). Raised in an upper-crust home thanks to the ring riches earned by his grandfather, the young man doesn’t have to box and his family doesn’t want him to. Yet, he has the natural instinct and gifts and potential that made his grandfather the heavyweight champion until Rocky Balboa took his crown in 1979′s Rocky II. Creed’s grandson needs a mentor and turns to Balboa, who is out of boxing completely and not eager to return. Balboa was Apollo Creed’s greatest opponent and later his best friend until that fateful moment when Balboa heeded Creed’s wishes and didn’t stop the fight against the Soviet fighter Drago (played by Dolph Lungdren in 1985′s Rocky IV) before the giant delivered what proved to be a fatal beating. What is intriguing is how Coogler intends to plug back into the mythology of the first three Rocky films, which were the best ones, and then move the story forward. Jordan seems perfect for the role, given his charisma and intensity, and the fact he’s a natural athlete and was a most convincing quarterback in the final seasons of Friday Night Lights. Coogler played college football on a scholarship as a wide receiver, so he has a background in jock culture. The deal is being finalized by WME, which reps Coogler, Jordan and Stallone. Jordan is managed by The Schiff Company and lawyered by Gregory Slewett. – Deadline
I couldn’t be more excited about this. Admittedly I’m not a fan of franchises making sequels just for the sake of money, but as Deadline reports, this feels different. A slight spinoff of the greatest sports movie franchise in history can’t be viewed as a bad thing. If MGM can lockup Michael B. Jordan for the lead role of Apollo Creed’s grandson, then this a definite home run caliber film. Jordan rose to fame as Wallace, the troubled yet compassionate corner boy in The Wire, and his new film, Fruitvale Station, won The Grand Jury Prize at Sundance and The Prize Of The Future award at Cannes. Sly Stallone would reprise his role as Rocky, this time acting as a trainer to his best frenemy’s grandson, hopefully played by Jordan. I’m a sucker for underdog stories and great acting, and if this film comes to fruition, it could deliver a knock out punch to audiences worldwide.
– Ryan
P.S. I need Dolph Lundgren in this movie. Need it like I need air to breathe.
P.P.S Recreate this scene with an older Rocky and Apollo’s grandson. Solid gold.
Pope John Paul II On His Way To Sainthood Is A Direct Slap In The Face To Bill Paxton
VATICAN CITY (AP) — Pope John Paul II has cleared the final obstacle before being made a saint, awaiting just the final approval from Pope Francis and a date for the ceremony that could come as soon as Dec. 8, a Vatican official and news reports said Tuesday. The ANSA news agency reported that a commission of cardinals and bishops met Tuesday to consider John Paul’s case and signed off on it. A Vatican official confirmed that the decision had been taken some time back and that Tuesday’s meeting was essentially a formality. One possible canonization date is Dec. 8, the feast of the Immaculate Conception, a major feast day for the Catholic Church. This year the feast coincidentally falls on a Sunday, which is when canonizations usually occur. The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he is not authorized by the church to discuss saint-making cases on the record, confirmed reports in La Stampa newspaper that John Paul could be canonized together with Pope John XXIII, who called the Second Vatican Council but died in 1963 before it was finished. There is reasoned precedent for beatifying or canonizing two popes together, primarily to balance one another out. John Paul has been on the fast track for possible sainthood ever since his 2005 death, but there remains some concern that the process has been too quick. Some of the Holy See’s deep-seated problems — clerical sex abuse, dysfunctional governance and more recently the financial scandals at the Vatican bank — essentially date from shortcomings of his pontificate. Defenders of the fast-track process argue that people are canonized, not pontificates.
– Yahoo/AP
Vs.
Wow. There are slaps in the face and then there are SLAPS IN THE FACE. Why doesn’t the catholic church just go to Bill Paxton’s house and kick his dog. Go beat up his grandmother in a nursing home. I am shocked and appalled. In all seriousness what did Pope John Paul II really do? Every picture I’ve ever seen of him he’s sitting in a chair. Tough life. I wouldn’t mind sitting in a chair all day wearing beautiful robes and fancy hats, all the while being the moral authority for one of the largest religions in the modern world. Bill.Paxton, on the other hand, discovered the fucking Titantic. He chased down massive tornadoes with Helen Hunt. He went to the goddamn moon with Kevin Bacon and Tom Hanks. I don’t think I’ve ever been more upset about something in my life. If Bill Paxton isn’t canonized in my lifetime then I would have live an unfulfilled life. And it will be all Pope John Paul II’s fault.
– Ryan
P.S. No way the Pope can grow a beard like that. Paxton owns him again.
I Have a Raging Clue These Movies are Going to Be Awesome
Elysium
The Wolf of Wall Street
From the people who brought us District 9 comes Elysium. Let me start by saying that I loved District 9. The movie was pure original from start to finish. No one has told the story of segregation and the plight of a people quite like that movie. A mix you could only get by taking Alien and crashing it head first into any Spike Lee movie. Now for Elysium. This movie seems to follow the same look and feel as District 9 with a slightly different story…and Matt Damon.
The Wolf of Wall Street ,aka “The complete opposite of what my friends and I do on the weekends”, stars Big Leo, Matty McConaughey, Jonah “Fluctuating Weight” Hill, and “Carlos” from How I Met Your Mother (You might know him as Shane from The Walking Dead). This movie looks like a smash hit right from the get-go. Look for Berno and I, in jean jackets/vests, camped out for tickets.
-MattyV
“Dumb and Dumber To” Dropped
And we wonder why the world is going to shit. One of the funniest and (gasp) most original comedies of all-time, Dumb and Dumber, still can’t find a financial suitor for it’s long awaited sequel, as Warner Bros. is the latest studio to drop out. Before anyone points out that they already made a sequel to Dumb and Dumber, Dumb and Dumberer was a travesty in every sense of the word. I saw two penguins having sex at the zoo last night that had more talent than the actors in that movie. I suffer through the 34 sequels to Fast & Furious and The Chronicles of Riddick because I know Hollywood will eventually make it up to me. Anchorman 2 is a start, but I want Dumb and Dumber To. I need Dumb and Dumber To. If I don’t get Lloyd Christmas back in my life, pet’s heads are going to start falling off. That’s a promise.
– Ryan
