Blog Archives
The Little League World Series Is The Breeding Ground For Cheaters
So apparently every player in the LLWS has to wear one of these patches on their jersey. That’s it. That’s all it takes for me to be 100% certain these kids are using PED’s. HGH. Anabolic steroids. You name it these kids are doing it. Remember the Frankenstein I blogged about few weeks ago? God only knows what he’s on.
I can’t believe it was right under my nose this whole time. Imagine the after parties these kids have? Laced freeze pops, ecstasy snack packs, vodka Capri Suns! The horror. Forget about major sports, get testers down to Williamsport asap while these kids still have a chance at a normal life.
– Ryan
So Pablo Sandoval is Reg MacWorthy
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Spitting image. My question is how does Pablo do it. Including spring training and playoffs, a baseball season can run from early March to late October. Where does he find the time to star in Eastbound and Down. Not only that, but he was a series regular on The Office and starred in movies. Is Pablo Sandoval a super hero? No other explanation for how he can be so many places at once. I know deep down he must be dying to tell the world his story. When this comes out, it’s going to dominate headlines. America’s first baseball player/actor super hero. I can feel it in my plums.
– Ryan
Is Ben Affleck A Red Sox Jinx?
Ben Affleck is undoubtedly the man. Oscar winning screenwriter and director. Handsome. Big time Red Sox fan. That’s the trifecta in my book. However, he does have one flaw: he was born on August 15th. Since his oscar winning film Good Will Hunting premiered in 1998, the Boston Red Sox are 0-14 on Affleck’s birthday. 14 losses in a row seems like more than just a coincidence to me. I propose one of two things: either Affleck changes his birthday to sometime in the off season or the Red Sox get a scheduled day off every August 15th. It’s hard enough beating professional athletes, they shouldn’t have to deal with this voodoo witchcraft as well.
– Ryan
P.S. What is with the Red Sox and curses. We finally win a few world series’ and now one of our biggest supporters is a curse? Heresy.
Jo Jo Offerman Is Singing The National Anthem At Summerslam, Which Reminds Me: Isn’t Her Dad Insane?
Jo Jo Offerman, a WWE developmental Diva and star of the E! show Total Divas, is singing the national anthem this Sunday at WWE Summerslam. She’s beautiful, a great singer and very talented in the ring.
Pretty normal news story right? Except for the fact that her father, former MLB player Jose Offerman, is insane. In 2007, he was arrested for assault after hitting a pitcher and catcher IN THE HEAD WITH A BAT.
Now I’m sure after somebody does that, they’re never allowed to play the game again. Wrong. Three years later, Offerman punched an umpire while disputing a call.
Those of you who are going to say “well he didn’t actually connect with the punch” are really missing the point. Following this incident, Jose was banned for life by the Dominican Winter League, which apparently means nothing, considering the ban was lifted in February of this year.
Let’s hope Jo Jo does the national anthem justice this Sunday, and pray to God she leaves her dad at home.
– Ryan
Don & Jerry: America’s Greatest Comedy Team
Abbott and Costello. The Marx Brothers. Penn and Teller. There is no doubt in my mind that Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy are America’s newest comedy dream team. Not only are they the best broadcast team in baseball, but they are also the most entertaining. Last night during the Red Sox/Astro’s game, Don and Jerry donned foam cowboy hats to try and spark a Red Sox rally. While the hats were long gone in the top of the 9th, I have a funny feeling that they helped Stephen Drew hit that game winning home run. Whether they’re wearing funny hats, discussing each other’s chest hair or catching fans in a touchy feely moment like the video above, they make watching a baseball game fun.
– Ryan
P.S. How bout them Red Sox! Love that dirty water.
5 Best “This Is Sportscenter” Commercials
It’s impossible to pick the best “this is sportscenter” commercials, but I did it anyway. I hope you disagree.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isYChtpBfwc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0iR05lYy1g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77fM_9w7mBU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhY2zsSSRO8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USHZZ5bwASU
– Ryan
CM Punk Channels His Inner Roddy Piper During Take Me Out To The Ballgame At Wrigley
“Seven-time World Champion CM Punk returned home to Chicago to sing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during the seventh inning stretch at Wrigley Field on Tuesday night. The sixth-longest reigning WWE Champion of all-time put an Anaconda Vice-grip on the microphone and belted out a performance Cubs fans seemed to enjoy during a game against the Milwaukee Brewers, that eventually ended in a 3-2 loss to the Central Division rival. Punk made sure no fans in attendance would Go to Sleep during his rendition of the time-honored tradition at the Friendly Confines by proclaiming to the citizens of Chicago that he came to the game to “chew bubble gum and sing,” and that he was “all out of bubble gum,” prior to providing vocal delights to the 31,638 in attendance.” – CSNChicago
Chicago native and the self proclaimed “Best In The World” CM Punk sang “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” last night at the Chicago Cubs game. Channeling his inner Roddy Piper, Punk yelled out to the crowd that he was here to “chew bubblegum and sing”, and that he was all out of bubblegum. Sporting his Wolverine-esque beard, this was Punk’s third ballgame performance at Wrigley in as many years. Punk is no stranger to entertaining an audience, as the world will be watching on August 18th when he takes on Brock Lesnar at WWE Summerslam.
– Ryan
P.S. I think Hot Rod’s all out of gum..
Welcome To Boston Mr. Peavy
Red Sox making the biggest splash at the trade deadline so far landing White Sox pitcher Jake Peavy late last night. Although Peavy has been injury prone, I love the move. He’s not being brought in to be a savior, but rather fill a specific role. When Bucholtz returns from the DL, the Sox will have 7 legitimate starting pitchers, which means two will head to their over worked bullpen. The flip side of this trade is the loss of Jose Iglesias. A gifted fielder, Iglesias never truly found his bat in a Red Sox uniform. He did get off to a hot start, winning AL Rookie of the Month in June, but his batting average has tumbled almost 100 points in July. Add in the fact that the Red Sox signed veteran SS Stephen Drew in the offseason, and Iggy basically became the odd man out. He’s going to be a joy to watch in Detroit, and I think I speak for everyone in Red Sox Nation when I say I wish him all the best. As for our own playoff race, I’m excited we added a proven veteran arm for the home stretch. If only the Rays would lose a game once in awhile, we’d be in good shape.
– Ryan
P.S. His new nickname is Jake The Snake right? That can’t even be a question. Jake The Snake it is.
