Advertisements

Blog Archives

Cat Fightttttttt

Now those are fighting words if I’ve ever seen them. Once you bring ex boyfriends into the mix, especially one’s that are fresh wounds, you’re asking for trouble. Miley Cyrus vs. Katy Perry. Sounds like a dream/nightmare I once had. All I know is there is only way to settle this, and its the only way people should ever settle their differences: steel cage match. Somebody fire up the internet we need to book this pronto.

– Ryan

P.S. This is the exact reason why I follow Miley Cyrus on Twitter. Ultimate wildcard.

Advertisements

Ron Jeremy’s Wrecking Ball Video Might Be the Only Thing That Can Cheer Me Up Today

Maybe it’s all the beers I drank this weekend. Maybe it’s all the sad ice cream I ate last night. But this video automatically cheered me up and creeped me out at the same time. That’s not an easy thing to do, but I guess any time old Ron Jeremy takes his pants off there’s a solid chance you’re about to go on an emotional roller coaster.

-Ryan

Miley Cyrus Somehow Managed Not To Be the Most Disturbing Person in a Picture

mile

Smart move by Miley. She doesn’t have to change her insane ways in 2014. She just has to hang out with people who make her look normal. Step 1: hang out with the woman who has the worlds largest boobs. Step 2: success.

– Ryan

H/T Reddit

Miley Cyrus’s American Music Awards Performance was Interesting

Nothing screams “I’ve lost my mind” like having a giant virtual kitten staring everyone in the face during your performance on an awards show. Between the bleached eyebrows and the humongous virtual kitten, it’s clear that Miley is teetering on the brink of insanity. I’m half expecting her to perform a ritualistic sacrifice at her next show. It could happen.

– Ryan

Miley Cyrus is Looking GOOD

image

Miley Cyrus might be the hardest person to defend in the entire universe. For every smart move she makes, there’s a thousand dumb moves like this. I no longer think this is a phase. She’s certifiably insane. Bleached eyebrows are the icing on the crazy cake. Negative woof.

– Ryan

P.S. This is the most disturbing picture in history.

image

Betty White Spoofs Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball – Dear God No

This could have been a lot worse, but can we stop the wrecking ball spoofs now. Watching a 90 year old ride a wrecking ball and kiss a sledgehammer should never be something I have to witness.

– Ryan

Meet @MileyCyrusCarl, the Man with 21 Miley Cyrus Tattoos

image

image

image

image

The easy thing here would be to rip this guy. Make fun of him for getting 21 tattoos of Miley Cyrus all over his body. Question his sanity. Maybe throw a cop detail or two outside Miley’s house for the next 40 years. Call me crazy, but I respect Miley Cyrus Carl. This is legitimate dedication. I swoon over Clooney all the time but I’m 60% sure I’ll never get a tattoo of him. Carl obviously likes Miley Cyrus. He likes tattoos. The man is combining his two personal loves and creating a shrine for all the world to see. Would I get 21 tattoos of a 20 year old singer all over my body? No. But my name isn’t Miley Cyrus Carl. I feel like with a name like that you’re almost expected to tattoo Miley’s face on your arms and side. Anything less would kind of be a let down. Miley Cyrus Carl can play on my team any day as long as he stands a respectable distance away from me and my loved ones at all times.

– Ryan

What’s the Smallest Amount of Money You Would Accept to Direct a Porno

(Source) “An adult film company is offering Miley Cyrus a million-dollar porn deal to get behind the camera and direct a XXX flick.

GameLink, an online adult store founded in 1993 that dubs itself one of the “leading international online retailers of adult entertainment,” wants Cyrus to direct a porn flick for a cool $1 million, according to TMZ. The company called her an “empowered” and “unapologetic” woman, who could use this opportunity to really show the world she’s “not a little girl anymore.”

In a letter sent to the singer’s camp Oct. 9 and obtained by TMZ, GameLink wrote: “We believe that as an empowered 21st century woman, you are the ideal choice to show the world your vision as an artist in the world of adult entertainment. GameLink would like to offer you the very lucrative opportunity to direct an adult film, giving you full creative control, for ONE MILLION dollars.”

Reps for GameLink and Cyrus were not immediately available for comment.

This isn’t even the first time the pop star has been offered a gig in the adult industry. Last year, after Cyrus filmed the music video for DJ Borgore’s “Decisions” featuring porn star Jessie Andrews, Sex.com offered to compensate her “extremely” well if she agreed to film a softcore girl-on-girl make-out session with Andrews.

She didn’t bite.

Whether Cyrus would actually take the most recent deal seems highly unlikely. She certainly doesn’t need the money and directing porn probably wouldn’t add to her artistic credibility.

Still, the “Wrecking Ball” singer does have a penchant for shocking people and she has some experience in the NSFW realm. Aside from her naked, sledgehammer-licking performance in the video for “Wrecking Ball”, Cyrus also posed for a series of risque photos for photographer Terry Richardson.”

 

image

This a million dollar question, pun intended. Obviously no sane person would pay a normy like me $1M to direct anything, nevermind a porno. I’m also not what you’d call a financially savvy human being, so I can’t put my artistic heart and soul into something for free. Directing a porno seems like a pretty ideal job with a lot of leeway. I’ve never watched a porn and said to myself “great editing job”. The lowest fee I’d accept would depend on a few things.

1. Who is in this porno? If it’s a lezbo porno, my price is dropping dramatically. If its not, and I have to stare at some guys dick all day, the price has to at least double. Are we talking mainstream porn stars, i.e. Tori Black, Melanie Rios, Tiffany Thompson, etc. or is this some awkward amateur shoot. These are the important questions.

2. Who is paying me? Is this a legit shoot with a solidified company such as Brazzers or Vivid? If so, my price is pretty low, because once they see my technique, they’ll be begging me to do more. If it’s a low on the totem pole type of company, I might be able to trick them into paying me more.

3. Now comes the most important question: am I allowed to choose my own porn name. I don’t care how much money a porn company is offering, if the opening credits don’t say “Directed by Bubba Hump” then I’m not your guy.

All things considered, I’d lowball myself at $100. I consider that stealing candy from an obese baby if I get to watch my favorite porn stars do their thing live and in living color.

– Ryan

P.S. If Miley accepts this their is no chance she doesn’t get involved on camera. You can only cage the beast for so long.

%d bloggers like this: