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Florida is Roaring Into the Weekend – Sarasota Couple Accused of Cooking Meth at a Library

HeisenbergSarasota police have arrested a homeless couple for allegedly making meth on the grounds of the Jacaranda Public Library.

Police say they received a tip that a meth lab was set up right behind the library on Jacaranda Blvd. Upon police arrival, they discovered the homeless couple stationed next to a mattress leaning against the wall of the building.

The couple, 28-year-old Raymond King and 23-year-old Tiffany Stolz, had material commonly used for cooking meth in their possession. Found next to the wall of the library, police found bottles of Coleman Fuel, lithium batteries, tubing, and several bottles of unknown liquids.

Sarasota Fire Department Hazmat team arrived on scene to investigate the liquids.

Police determined King had been living outside the library manufacturing meth for about one month. His girlfriend, Stolz, would help him by getting materials for him to cook the meth with.

Both have been charged with possession of chemicals with intent to manufacture and manufacture of methamphetamine, both felonies.


Have yourself a weekend, Florida. Every Friday I wake up and I know I’ll have a Florida story and thankfully this week was no different. Did I expect it to be a homeless couple cooking meth on the grounds of a library in  Sarasota? I did not, but when it comes to Florida nothing surprises me anymore. Safe to say this handsome couple are no Walter White and Jesse Pinkman. At this point, I think I’m going to make a scrapbook filled with all the crazy shit that I’ve read about people from Florida. That way when I eventually become a father and a grandfather I can show my children and grandchildren that scrapbook and tell them to never go to Florida. I have to imagine they’ll understand.

– Ryan


Twitter News Weekly – Jay Leno, Slick Willy, Winter Olympics

-The Average Nobodies

Michael Sutton Eats Rocks


Michael Sutton, 36, was arrested last week after some high school students found him near their school, eating rocks and babbling on about meth, the Des Moines Register reported. – Huff Post

Oh! Eating rocks? Demented move, Michael. Can’t say that i’m surprised though, because once you hit rock bottom what else is there to eat? My question is, what was he eating the rocks with? Was he just plucking rocks off the ground and shoving them in his gullet, or was he dipping them in ketchup or barbecue sauce first? These are the questions that need to be answered.

Also, when someone says “eating rocks” I have to imagine that they are just swallowing them whole. I really doubt any chewing was happening. Rocks are tough as nails. There is no way a meth head could chew through rocks. I’m not even sure my genetically enhanced cow jaw could do that (True story, but for another time).


There is No Such Thing as a Free Vacation to Canada

“If it’s too good to be true, it probably is,” goes the old saying. Apparently that goes double for “free” vacations.

Just ask an unnamed couple from Australia, who believed they’d won an all-expenses-paid trip to Canada — complete with free luggage — but unwittingly became drug mules instead. When they returned from a seven-day vacation in the Great White North on Oct. 13, the couple, a 72-year-old man and 64-year-old woman, approached customs officials in Perth, Australia, over concerns they had with their new bags.

Australian Federal Police examined the luggage and found 3.5 kilograms (7.7 pounds) of methamphetamine stashed in the lining of each bag, worth an estimated total of $7 million dollars. Perth Now reports the couple had apparently been scammed by “AusCan Tours,” a fake Canadian travel agency that lured them into entering an online competition. They were contacted by the agency afterward with the good news that the pair had won a free vacation. – HuffPost

Well, you know what they say…don’t accept a free vacation to Canada unless you’re willing to peddle 7.7 pounds of meth across international boarders. “Too good to be true” is not the adage I would have used for this situation. A free trip to Canada, you say? As soon as I read this I knew these people must have been either elderly or from somewhere other than North America. Oh, look at that, this couple is both! Because there is no way someone gets that jazzed up about visiting Canada, unless they are from another country….or are senior citizens.


cruise to canada

PS- I’ve been to Canada once. It was on a cruise, and my buddies and I got off the boat to go to a strip club. We found out it was closed (at 11:00am) and got back on the boat and never returned.

Must Watch Trailer – Homefront

Just when I thought I could never love another meth cook, here comes James Franco to steal my heart.

Jason Statham (Father/Professional Ass Kicker) vs. Franco (Meth Dealer/Cook) is really all you need to know about this thriller. Last time I saw Franco this angry he was chasing Toby Maguire around on a jet powered snowboard (that movie sucked hard). Also, it’s nice to see Statham isn’t a type-cast……………………………………………….the “country boy” flavor changes that, right?


PS- I hoping Winona shows a little skin too.

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