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Insane Instagram Comments: Welcome to Hell, Melissa King!

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For those of you who don’t know, Melissa King is a former Miss Delaware Teen USA who decided to do a porno film and then had to relinquish her prestigious crown. If you’re wondering why I follow her on Instagram, that last sentence should help you out. It turns out before Teen beauty queens turned porn stars aren’t exempt from the insanity of Instagram, and of they’re not safe, then who is? Anyway, she takes a nice picture of a sand dollar but then @karimzp has to come along and filth it up. This is why we can’t have nice things Kari! I’m going to go out a limb and say that Melissa King did not in fact take this kid’s virginity, because logic. Just goes to show you, anyone can feel the wrath that is the true insanity of Instagram.

– Ryan

Melissa North Leads the Weirdest/Saddest Life I’ve Ever Heard Of

SourceA 22-year-old student who is so terrified of cheese she is unable to walk past the supermarket counter in case she bursts into tears has spoken of how her phobia blights her everyday life.

Melissa North, from Herne Bay, Kent, said she developed the phobia at the age of four, but she is now so terrified of the dairy product the mere sight of it can bring her out in a cold sweat.

The illustration and visual communications student said family and friends tease her for the fear, which has seen her stay away from the food ever since she was given it at a friend’s house when she was a child.

She said: ‘Walking past a deli counter in a supermarket is really difficult for me. I get so clammy and start to have a panic attack.

‘It just looks awful – so gooey and disgusting – it makes me feel sick.

‘My friends and family think it’s hilarious but it’s really awful. I hate going near the stuff, and seeing people eat it is horrendous.

‘Touching or eating cheese for me is like someone who is scared of spiders holding a tarantula. It’s terrifying.’

Ms North said she has stayed away from the dairy product ever since she was given cheese on toast at a friend’s house when she was a child.

She said: ‘It tasted horrible but my parents had always taught me to finish what was on my plate – I didn’t want to be rude so I had no choice but to eat it.

WTF? Montage

I tried to follow along with this article but I just don’t understand. Melissa North is not allergic to cheese. She doesn’t have a medical condition that prohibits her from eating cheese. Her grandfather didn’t die in a tragic cheese accident. She’s just deathly afraid of it. Friends and family are teasing her for being deathly afraid of cheese? Well I’d hope they are, because this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of. I can’t trust someone who has never felt the warm embrace of melted pepper jack cheese on a hamburger, or the sweet nectar of mozzarella cheese on top of a piece of chicken parmigiana. If you don’t like cheese, you’re weird, but I understand it. If you’re deathly afraid of cheese, you’re insane.

– Ryan

Melissa McCarthy To Host First SNL of February

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Woof. Drake tomorrow night, Jonah Hill next week and now Melissa McCarthy on February 1st. SNL is pulling out the big guns to play with the young pups. 2014 should be an exciting year for studio 8H.

– Ryan