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If You’re Not Rooting For Pharrell To Win an Oscar For ‘Happy’ Then You’re a Great, Big Phony

Do any of the other nominees have a 24 hour music video? Didn’t think so. Go on with your bad self Pharrell.

– Ryan

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Cuddle Up To Me is Apparently a Real Company Where People Pay a Stranger to Cuddle With Them

(Source) “Looking for a little extra affection? Meet Sam Hess, a 29-year-old cuddle professional who makes a living by selling snuggles to those in need. Hess is part of a new breed of business people who believe that touch, no matter who it comes from, is the key to a happy life. She hatched the idea after watching a YouTube experiment in which two men offered free or paid hugs to people on the street. “People paid for hugs more than they took the free ones, and I realized that there’s real value in affection,” Hess tells Yahoo Shine. “My friends and boyfriend were a little wary at first, but once they realized I was serious about it, they were supportive.” Hess’s Portland, Oregon based company, called Cuddle Up To Me, offers two basic packages: A 30-minute session for $35 and a 60-minute session for $60 (She charges a $1 per minute in overtime), during which Hess and her client might hold hands, cuddle up on the couch, or spoon to the tune of her “cuddle playlist,” which includes classic music and hits by Phil Collins and Jack Johnson. There are also prepaid weekly sessions and a flat rate for overnight stays. However, before she does business, Hess conducts a free 45-minute meet-and-greet in a public place such as a coffee shop, to assess the intentions of potential clients. “I need to know where a person is coming from so I know what I’m walking into,” she explains.  

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This is sad. Not “someones dying” sad, but the “he’s sitting all by myself at the restaurant” type of sad. Who’s paying someone $60 an hour to cuddle with them? Splurge and pay the extra $100 for a prostitute like a normal person. I don’t care how many write ups Sam gets Yahoo or any other website to do. This is weird and anyone who thinks otherwise is weird. Buy a teddy bear. Go out in society and meet people. Basically do anything but pay a stranger to come cuddle with you.

– Ryan

P.S. The only thing I’m on board with is the choice of Phil Collins for this girl’s cuddle playlist. I’d love to cuddle to Phil’s angelic voice. Again, just not with a stranger.

Tyler The Creator: 5 Things You Didn’t Know

– via BuzzFeed

One thing we knew before this, is that Tyler is definitely insane, but he’s sure as hell fun to watch. The guy never stops working, and now he’s teaming up with Fox to create the animated short 5 Things You Don’t Know About Me. Creativity never sleeps, and I’m glad to see someone with his talent spreading his wings.

– Ryan

CM Punk Channels His Inner Roddy Piper During Take Me Out To The Ballgame At Wrigley

Seven-time World Champion CM Punk returned home to Chicago to sing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during the seventh inning stretch at Wrigley Field on Tuesday night. The sixth-longest reigning WWE Champion of all-time put an Anaconda Vice-grip on the microphone and belted out a performance Cubs fans seemed to enjoy during a game against the Milwaukee Brewers, that eventually ended in a 3-2 loss to the Central Division rival. Punk made sure no fans in attendance would Go to Sleep during his rendition of the time-honored tradition at the Friendly Confines by proclaiming to the citizens of Chicago that he came to the game to “chew bubble gum and sing,” and that he was “all out of bubble gum,” prior to providing vocal delights to the 31,638 in attendance.” – CSNChicago

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Chicago native and the self proclaimed “Best In The World” CM Punk sang “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” last night at the Chicago Cubs game. Channeling his inner Roddy Piper, Punk yelled out to the crowd that he was here to “chew bubblegum and sing”, and that he was all out of bubblegum. Sporting his Wolverine-esque beard, this was Punk’s third ballgame performance at Wrigley in as many years. Punk is no stranger to entertaining an audience, as the world will be watching on August 18th when he takes on Brock Lesnar at WWE Summerslam.

– Ryan

P.S. I think Hot Rod’s all out of gum..

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