If You’re a Male Cop Looking to Get Your Butt Grabbed Then You Bettter Start Hanging Around Claude Giroux
HOCKEY – Claude Giroux was arrested Tuesday night according to the Ottawa Sun. A source told the Ottawa Sun Giroux was “repeatedly grabbing the buttocks of a male police officer” and alcohol is believed to be involved.
Several sources confirmed to the Sun that Giroux spent Tuesday night in jail and he is expected to be released without any criminal charges.
No comment has been made by the Ottawa Police or the Flyers at this point.
The only way this story gets better is if Claude Giroux yelled “tushy squeeze!” every time he grabbed the cops ass. Whether it happened or not, that’s how it played out in my mind. I don’t want to pass judgment, but I’m going to assume things aren’t OK at home for Claude. Flyers lose in the first round of the playoffs and all of a sudden Claude is in Ottawa grabbing everybody’s ass. Whoever the Ottawa Sun’s source is sure has some magnificent detective skills as well. “Alcohol was believed to be involved.” Shocking. I also can’t wait for hockey fans to spin this story into another “hockey players are the toughest” tirade. “Oh you don’t grab other guys butts? Hockey players do, and they’re the toughest athletes in the world!!!”.
Why put it in your pockets when you can put it in a bag? That’s the question more and more American men seem to be asking as the man bag — or “murse” — industry booms. Sales of men’s handbags and totes rose 3% to $957 million in the 12 months through June, while briefcases, duffel, laptop, and messenger bags declined, according to NPD Group, a market research firm. Backpacks also experienced a surge, growing 24% to $684 million in revenue during the period. “Men have been silently learning just how important it is to have a bag to carry their ‘stuff,’” such as electronics, chargers, headphones, and books, Marshal Cohen, NPD’s chief industry analyst, wrote in a post on the firm’s blog today. “And just think about the practical side of this. Men’s clothing has gotten tighter again. Now where do men put those keys or phone? With this change in fashion and lifestyle, men now do need to carry a bag.” – BuzzFeed
Does this mean I need a murse? American men spending almost $1 Billion on a fashion item can’t be wrong. On the one hand, I don’t necessarily want to look like the guy in the black vest. He’s probably a sweet guy, but I don’t know if that look gives off the “I’m a 25 year old male looking for a female” vibe I’m going for. On the other hand, the guy who might be Jamie Lannister looks so badass it’s unreal. Plus, I hate when I have my keys in my jean pockets, and cell phones are getting so big it’s a hassle to try and cram them in there. A murse might be the only way to go. If I become a murse guy, I definitely have to double down my scarf collection. A murse without a scarf is a fashion no-no.
P.S. I’d bet anything the bearded guy paid for his murse with a credit card. A Lannister always pays his debts.