This Friday is the first day of August, and the month after August is September, and September means FOOTBALL. Praise Bill Paxton. Every Monster Blog from today until Packers/Seahawks on September 4th will be dedicated to football in some way. This week’s monster blog is focused on the Madden video game. John Madden did a lot of great things in his day: revolutionized bus travel, won super bowls, became a broadcasting legend, and most importantly, created the Madden video game. While a lot of people like to focus on the Madden curse, the Average Nobodies focus on the positives in life, like having a murderer on the cover of your video game. Anyway, here are our choices:
Madden ’05 – Ray Lewis
I figured I’d get right to the murderer part, because when you have a chance to put a guy who went through a sketchy murder trial on the cover of your video game marketed to children, you do it. Besides that, the mid 2000’s Madden’s were awesome because the talent pool was insane. Ray Lewis was murdering the league on defense. Daunte Culpepper was murdering the league on offense. You had the end of the “greatest show on turf” with the Rams. All that made Madden the best sports game during this time period. As a defensive specialist kind of player, I loved playing as the Ravens and just blitzing the shit out of my opponents. A lot of people don’t like those 10-7 wins, but I thrive on them. Just win, baby.
Madden 04 – Mike Vick
My Madden cover, like Ryan’s, comes form the golden age of Madden. The days when you turn on a game and get the “EA Sports, it’s in the game” little cameos by the actually players. Those were so awesome. Every time I turned on my game I would hope to see a different player! It was a magical time that has since passed and will never again be revisited, but the real reason that chose this cover was purely for the man on it. No, not the dog killer, Mike Vick, i’m talking about the 250 rushing yards and 5 touchdowns, Mike Vick. Never before and never again will a player be so dominate in a video game. People might argue that 2006-08 LT is the better choice, but he was a running back. Mike Vick could literally be your whole team. The ball never needed to touch anther players hands. Touchdown city, population Michael Vick.
He has to, right? People might have him beat in the forehead department but not in overall head size. His head honestly looks like it weights 200 pounds. I’m surprised he’s not dead based purely on the fact that his neck just collapsed under the weight of his enormous head. John Madden is now forever going to be the king of huge heads, along with his queen, Rihanna.