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The ‘Beast Mode’ Sausage Sandwich is Almost as Stupid as Pete Carroll’s Stupid Face

Seahawks suck – It’s time to grub up for the Super Bowl, and with the Seattle Seahawks facing  off against the Denver Broncos, there is a unique cuisine to sample from these  Western cities.

You could start your day on a Seattle kick, with a warm coffee from your  local Starbucks. Then, for lunch, transition across the Rocky Mountains to  Denver and get your lunch fix at a Quiznos or a Chipotle. As you settle down  before the start of the game, put some craft beers into the ice chest so they  can chill in time for kickoff.

But if you’re looking for a meal that screams “Go Seahawks,” look no farther  than the Beast Mode Sausage.

Named after the Seahawks bruising running back, Marshawn Lynch, who has been  given the Beast Mode moniker for his style of running, this sausage mirrors  Lynch’s football personality. A butcher in Puyallup, Wash. has combined sweet  and spicy meat with Skittles, the candy of choice for Lynch.

That’s right – sausage with Skittles on the inside.

So while the 12th man may have to travel across the country to cheer their  team on live in Metlife Stadium, at least they will have something to snack on  as they prepare for the championship game.



The Seahawks couldn’t just beat my 49ers and be done with it. Now they have to make a travesty out of my favorite sandwich. What’s next? Are they going to cancel my favorite TV shows? Beat up my grandma? There are only three things that should go on a sausage sandwich: peppers, onions and mustard. Not skittles. Never skittles. You’re insulting sausage lovers everywhere, which I now realize sounds a little weird. But the seahawks are basically rebelling against America. And if anyone is looking to point a finger of blame, point it at this world class asshole..


I hate you Pete Carroll. I hope your burn with Satan in the depths of hell.

– Ryan


Can We Just Leave Beast Mode Alone?


Clearly the guy doesn’t enjoy talking with the media, can we just leave it alone? I think it is totally ridiculous that there are provisions written into NFL contracts that force players to speak with the media under penalty of fine. These are professional athletes we are talking about! First off, most of them sound like idiots because guess what? They weren’t studying Shakespeare in college! Secondly, the ones you do hear from, and that can speak well, will speak to the media. They will do this with or without a rule in their contract. Is it really necessary to put a guy like Lynch on blast for doing the bare minimum at media day?


PS- Deion, would you have liked to be harassed like this if you didn’t want to speak with media back when you played? HELL NO. Beast mode is clearly hiding from you and everyone else. Feed him some Skittles and move on!


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