Blog Archives

The Boyz II Men Pretzel Love Songs Marketing Campaign for Wendy’s Is Genius

Just when I thought I couldn’t love Wendy’s any more, they pull Boyz II Men out of retirement or a nursing home and have them read actual tweets about Wendy’s new pretzel bun. Do I love the pretzel bun? Yes. Do I love Boyz II Men? Also yes. Does listening to Boyz II Men read tweets about people’s lust for pretzels make me want a Wendy’s pretzel bun sandwich? Kind of. Job well done, Wendy’s. I’ll always support you:


Let’s see what the Iron Sheik thinks about the pretzel love songs:

Alrighty then.

– Ryan

Robin Thicke is Reason #1000 Why It’s Easier to Be a Celebrity

AlanRobin Thicke will stop at nothing to get his gal back.

The 37-year-old singer has reportedly written a new song in effort to work things out with his estranged wife, Paula Patton, and will perform it at Sunday’s Billboard Music Awards, according to TMZ.

“I should’ve kissed you longer/ I should’ve held you stronger,” are some of the lyrics from the hearlfelt ballad titled “Get Her Back.”

“All I wanna do is make it right,” the track continues via the gossip site.

“I gotta get her, go get her back/ I gotta treat her right /I gotta cherish her for life”

This is not the first public attempt Thicke has made to make things right with Patton, who he has been involved with since his teenage years.

He has opened up at several of his concerts since the pair’s separation announcement, made in February after eight years of marriage, stressing how he wants to work things out.

Patton, 38, recently spoke out about the split in Vanity Fair’s June issue, telling the mag, “there’s a deep love there — always was, and always will be.”


Wait, am I supposed to feel bad for Robin Thicke? If you play the game you can’t get mad when the game ruins your life. That’s how it works. You can’t travel around the world seducing everybody and having sex with every girl who gives you the eye and expect your hot, actress wife to be OK with it. Also, let’s not forget that Robin Thicke has the one thing working for him that can heal this marriage: he’s a celebrity. Your wife caught you cheating? Write her a song that you can perform at an award show so she has no choice but to watch it. Make the lyrics all lovey dovey so she REALLY knows you mean it. It really is that simple. If I wrote my ex girlfriend a love song and tried to sing it to her I’d be trespassing and breaking probation. But Robin Thicke does it and he’s a hero. Game ain’t fair. Game ain’t fair.

– Ryan


Why Pete Carroll and I Should be Best Friends – Reason #34

Just a 60 year-old man who gets as excited for Shark Week as my 6 year-old cousin.  An all-around good guy who brings his sincere excitement everywhere he goes.


PS- I don’t buy into the hype of Shark Week, but I won’t knock people who get excited about it.

PSS- You know he loved ‘Sharknado’

Welcome To The Busey Zone

Watching Gary Busey give people life advice is the reason dinosaurs put me on this Earth. I have to imagine when Al Gore invented the internet, he had this in mind. Who better to give life advice to lost souls then the craziest person in the entire universe. I feel like the people writing into “The Busey Zone” are skipping some integral steps in the self help process. Who did these people go to before Busey? Charles Manson? A snake? I mean how do you wake up one day with a legitimate real life quandry and think to yourself: “you know who can help me? Gary fucking Busey.” I have to admit I had some high expectations for this vlog, and per usual Gary Busey exceeds them and blows my mind in the process. I also feel like he believes this is some type of competition. When the woman reading the first question interrupts him, he tells her not to interrupt his answer or she’ll be elminated. That’ll teach her to question Gary Busey. He loves puppies, cats and fish, and he’s changing lives. God help us all.

– Ryan

P.S. Gary Busey’s spinning head will forever haunt my dreams.

Kyle Love Has Everything but Love for the Pats. (See what I did there)

DT Kyle Love was recently cut from the New England Patriots presumably due to a test that confirmed he was diabetic. Almost directly afterwards, the Jacksonville Jaguars picked him up. And now he’s pissed. I guess I can understand that. That’s kind of like getting fired from Google to go work for McDonald’s and there is nothing you can do about it.

But he took it further. He’s quoted as saying “That’s how they [The Patriots] run their business up there; veteran guys who have been there for years and put in a lot of work get treated like rookies.”

He’s bitching that the Pats let him go for a non football related designation.

Also today in New England football news an all-time Patriots favorite was elected into the Pats hall of fame today. You may have heard of him, Teddy Bruschi.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “but, Sean Lite, why did you all the sudden switch to the Bruschi story.” Well, my friends, because Theodore also suffered from a non-football related designation*. A STROKE.

So Kyle Love, perhaps it wasn’t you’re newly discovered condition and simply because the team decided it was time for you to go. If the Patriots thought Teddy was okay after a god damn stroke I’m sure they would’ve given you a chance if you were worth it. Enjoy Jacksonville Mr. Love.

*A stroke could probably be considered a football related injury but fuck that because that kills my argument and Teddy B. is awesome.

-Sean Lite-

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