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James Lincoln Collier Proving Once Again You Can’t Trust People With Three Names

Oh dearThe WHAT in the White House?

Well-heeled West Villagers will be in for a rude surprise when they open the latest copy of their local newspaper and see the headline, “The N—-r in the White House” — except without the dashes.

The shocking headline in the WestView News is a reference to President Obama and sits at the top of Page 15 above an opinion piece that criticizes what it calls the anti-black “racism” of far-right voters.

The convoluted screed by author and journalist James Lincoln Collier is actually a pro-Obama piece — but that didn’t stop West Villagers from decrying the printing of the slur.

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Ah. Well this escalated quickly. Firstly, this goes back to my theory that you can’t trust people with three names. John Wilkes Booth. Mark David Chapman. James Lincoln Collier. The first two were assassinators. The third is an 86 year old white male who thinks it’s OK to put the N word in a newspaper headline describing our current President. You’d think someone who knew he was going to run a piece that would receive this much backlash would have a better excuse than “well I was nice to him in the article, though”. I don’t care if you nominated him for the Human of the Year award, you still called him the N word! In what universe is that OK? Maybe on Mars, where I heard they’re horrible racists. But on planet Earth, you gotta be better than that. Gotta be.

– Ryan

Louis C.K’s SNL Promo’s Are Here and We’re That Much Closer to Saturday Night!

Run of the mill SNL promo’s but I don’t care. I can’t wait for Saturday night and for Louis C.K. to tear the house down yet again. We also learned that Sam Smith will be his musical guest. According to Wikipedia, Sam Smith is an old wooden ship that was used during the  Civil War era. Should be fantastic. Make sure to follow us on Twitter @averagenobodies as we’ll be tweeting witty observations during the show.

– Ryan

P.S. LINCOLN

Michael Sutton Eats Rocks

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Michael Sutton, 36, was arrested last week after some high school students found him near their school, eating rocks and babbling on about meth, the Des Moines Register reported. – Huff Post

Oh! Eating rocks? Demented move, Michael. Can’t say that i’m surprised though, because once you hit rock bottom what else is there to eat? My question is, what was he eating the rocks with? Was he just plucking rocks off the ground and shoving them in his gullet, or was he dipping them in ketchup or barbecue sauce first? These are the questions that need to be answered.

Also, when someone says “eating rocks” I have to imagine that they are just swallowing them whole. I really doubt any chewing was happening. Rocks are tough as nails. There is no way a meth head could chew through rocks. I’m not even sure my genetically enhanced cow jaw could do that (True story, but for another time).

-Matt

“The Right Guys For The Job” – Our 48 Hour Film Project

The newest film from Can’t B Trusted Productions, “The Right Guys For The Job”, premieried at the 48 Hour Film Festival last night in Lincoln, RI. Directed by our very own average nobody Matt Vieira and starring yours truly, this crime short details the plot of a bitter ex wife, Grace White, and the crew of low level thiefs she hires to steal a valuable possession from her ex husband. Will the plan go up in smoke, or did she hire the right guys for the job? Watch and enjoy.

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