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Twitter News Weekly: #ArianaGrande Licked #JaredFogle From Subway

This week we explore the dark side of celebrities and sandwich spokespeople. Ariana Grande licked a donut, Jared from Subway got really creepy and I’m Ron Burgundy? All this and more on Twitter News Weekly!

– The Average Nobodies

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Cat Fightttttttt

Now those are fighting words if I’ve ever seen them. Once you bring ex boyfriends into the mix, especially one’s that are fresh wounds, you’re asking for trouble. Miley Cyrus vs. Katy Perry. Sounds like a dream/nightmare I once had. All I know is there is only way to settle this, and its the only way people should ever settle their differences: steel cage match. Somebody fire up the internet we need to book this pronto.

– Ryan

P.S. This is the exact reason why I follow Miley Cyrus on Twitter. Ultimate wildcard.

Hey Colorado: Smoke All the Weed You Want, But Don’t You Dare Let Your Kid Kiss a Girl on the Cheek

Source – A 6-year-old boy has been suspended from a Colorado school for kissing a girl on the cheek.

School officials in Canon City are accusing Hunter Yelton of sexual harassment and they want it on his school record.

“They sent me to the office, fair and square. I did something wrong and I feel sorry”

– Hunter Yelton

The boy’s mother tells KRDO-TV her son was suspended once before for kissing the girl and had disciplinary problems, but the girl did not object to being kissed. She told the station that the two children like each other.

“They sent me to the office, fair and square. I did something wrong and I feel sorry,” Yelton told the station. 

A School District RE-1 official says the repeat offenses meet the school policy definition of sexual harassment and they hope the tough standards will force the boy to change his behavior.

Yelton’s mother, Jennifer Saunders, wants sexual harassment removed from his record.

“I’m going to stand up and fight for him because that’s not the case, that’s not what happened at all,” she told the station.

 

This is the weirdest story I’ve ever read. Are they really charging this kid with sexual harassment? Is this real life? Seriously what the hell is happening in Colorado, or America in general for that matter. A 6 year old boy kissed a girl in his class on the cheek. Better call the National Guard. Better yet, let’s register this kid as a sex offender, lock him up for life and throw away the key. The worst part of this whole story is that the school is making poor Hunter feel like he did something wrong. And for whatever reason, the local news station actually took a statement from a 6 year old like he’s going on trial. When you suspend little kids for being little kids, you shouldn’t wonder why they grow up to be lunatics. This whole story reaffirms my belief that we might actually be living in a bizarro Matrix world. No other explanation for something like this actually happening.

– Ryan

Florida Refuses To Give Up “Craziest State” Title

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“When 62-year-old Peggy Hill reportedly laid a wet one on a police officer, she basically kissed her freedom goodbye. The Florida woman was arrested for allegedly kissing a cop on the nose Saturday evening and jailed on charges of felony battery of a law enforcement officer. Authorities were responding to a report of an altercation between Hill and one of her Bradenton neighbors when the smooch reportedly took place. According to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office arrest report, obtained by The Smoking Gun, Sgt. Randy Lamb was speaking to Hill when she suddenly leaned in and kissed him on the nose. “[S]he approached him and kissed him on his nose against his will. He stepped away from her, wiped off the saliva from his nose, attempted to take her into custody and she started to struggle with him,” an assisting officer wrote in the report. Deputies noted that Hill later allegedly admitted to drinking about three glasses of wine prior to the debacle, the Sun-Sentinel reports. A search of the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office website reveals that Hill is still in custody on $5,000 bond.” – HuffPost

Florida just refuses to quit. First it was the potato chip thief, then the brotherly love incident involving a guy stabbing his brother over mac n’ cheese. Now we have Peggy Hill a.k.a. Mickey Rourke in a wig, arrested for kissing a cop on the nose. Seriously what is happening in Florida. I thought it was where our grandparents went when they retired and gave up on life. Apparently its filled with criminal masterminds who’s only skill is getting arrested under bizarre circumstances. Can’t really blame the cop here. If someone looking like that was kissing me I would arrest her on the spot and then cut my nose off. Face like a halibut.

– Ryan

P.S. Way to ruin Peggy Hill’s good name

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