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The 2014 Emmy Nominations Are In & All I Have To Say is Give Me Kate McKinnon Or Give Me Death

For the second year in a row, a member of SNL has been nominated for an Emmy award (Bill Hader last year). Kate is definitely up against some strong competition:

Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Allison Janney, Mom
Kate Mulgrew, Orange Is the New Black
Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live
Anna Chlumsky, Veep

But I’m an SNL FTW kind of guy and there isn’t a scenario I can picture that doesn’t have her giving an acceptance speech.

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All the other nominees are great at portraying their respective characters, but Kate McKinnon is great at portraying ALL her characters. Give her the win. If for no other reason but because Seth Meyers supports her.

– Ryan

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And Here’s the Cover Sports Illustrated DIDN’T Choose

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No offense to Chrissy Teigen, Nina Adgal and Lily Aldridge, but this blows their cover away. Also I’m going to start a petition that every day that ends in Y becomes Kate Upton Day at Average Nobodies. Between her bouncing around in zero gravity and this picture, there’s a solid chance I spend the next 300 hours watching Kate Upton videos. Sweet baby Jesus on the cross.

– Ryan

The Only Thing I like More Than Kate Upton is Kate Upton in Zero Gravity

Sweet sugar! I’m sprinting to CVS after work to get this issue. Ok, so Kate Upton didn’t make the three-peat cover, at least she gets the zero gravity treatment.

-Matt

Goodbye Justin Bieber

Source – Justin Bieber is in trouble – again.

The pop star was arrested early Thursday for drag racing and DUI in Miami Beach, police confirmed on Twitter. Police say R&B artist Khalil was also arrested.

Bieber was charged with resisting arrest and had consumed alcohol and marijuna, reports AP.

Bieber, 19, was in a rented yellow Lamborghini.

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A while ago I wrote about the slow and steady downfall that Justin Bieber was going through. Now before I get started here, I want it to be clear that I could care less if this guy fails. He’s 19 and he’s already made more money than me, slept with more girls and is one of the most recognizable people on the planet. I’m just here to call a spade a spade. You want to know why Justin Bieber is going to fail? Because he lacks the one thing that every famous person had who fucked up and got their life back together: resiliency. He got discovered on YouTube by Usher, made a cute popsy song that attracted literally the easiest audience to attract (young girls) and got a boatload of fame and fortune thrown in his face. Now that the shit is hitting the fan, he wants his bodyguards and inner circle to make everything go away like it’s a bad dream. Unfortunately for him, it’s real life.

Do you ever wonder why so many child actors/musicians have fucked up lives? Because a 16, 17, 18, 19 year old shouldn’t be living in Los Angeles or Hollywood where the vices outnumber pretty much anything good or moral you’re trying to accomplish. That’s why it’s always great to see someone like Justin Timberlake, who got famous young (17 when NSync started taking off), but kept his head above water and turned into an other worldly talent. DUI’s are becoming so common for celebrities that Bieber may get off the hook for this one, go back to making his music for teenage girls, and have a good career. But if I were a betting man, I’d say this is just the beginning of something bad.

Back to the resiliency angle. Does Justin Bieber strike you as someone who deals with animosity well? The same kid who had his bodyguards carry him up the Great Wall of China doesn’t seem like he’s taking the backlash in stride. Again, his bread and butter IS MAKING SONGS FOR TEENAGE GIRLS. Even at the peak of his fame, no one took this guy seriously. So now that everything is going wrong, who does he lean on to get his shit right? If I had cameras in my face 24/7 while websites like TMZ were dissecting my every move, I’d probably lose my mind too. In a way, its kind of sad to see a 19 year old with the world by the balls just be such an idiot and an asshole. Between the constant bad press, on and off retirement and the general dismay people my age or older have for him, it’s going to be a long road back to the top. Like I said, I’m not rooting for him to fail, but at this point, I don’t see any other outcome.

– Ryan

Kate McKinnon Might Actually Be Justin Bieber

That’s as good a Justin Bieber impression as you’ll ever see. Cherry on the ice cream was the fact that she actually looked like Bieber. There’s talent, and then there’s Kate McKinnon. FYI, the entire Drake hosted episode of SNL was awesome. Drake just got his newest and most deranged fan.

– Ryan

Kate Winslet and Her Husband Have the Opportunity to Have the Coolest Named Baby in History

SourceKate Winslet and husband Ned Rocknroll have named their son Bear Winslet, born on December 7th in the United Kingdom.

A spokesperson for Winslet confirmed the name to People Magazine.

According to the Daily Mail, Rocknroll’s original surname was on Bear’s birth certificate (Ned Abel Smith), but the Virgin Galactic employee  changed it back to Rocknroll.  Because NAMES. 


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I’ll Give You One Guess Why I Want To See ‘The Other Woman’

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It rhymes with mate gluptons loobs. Ok it’s Kate Upton’s boobs. If Kate Upton is in a bikini I’m there. I stuck through 90 minutes of The Three Stooges just for the pool scene where she’s the lifeguard. When beauty presents itself, you give it your full attention.

P.S. How about Jamie Lannister being able to regenerate his hand? Weird, wild stuff.

I Think it’s Safe to Say Kate Upton Won the Melbourne Cup

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Let’s all be quiet and let Chris De Burgh’s beautiful voice do the talking for us.

– Ryan

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