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Jared Allen Might Have Just Retired In Classic Fashion

I don’t know if this is an official retirement or not, but if it is, good for Jared Allen. Some guys need to hold a big press conference or announce it at the beginning of the season so everyone can swing their boners at them and tell them how great they were. Not Jared Allen. All he needs is to bring a popular phrase to life by literally riding off into the sunset (or the cloudy sky). Allen has been a great defensive lineman for the Chiefs, Vikings, Bears & Panthers, racking up 136 total sacks in his career, which would lead all active players. He led the NFL in sacks twice and made five pro bowls, and has one of the best sack celebrations ever. Plus, he wore number 69. If you can’t root for a guy wearing number 69 then you have no soul. If this is truly the end for Allen, then thanks for a great career, and have fun riding horses into the cloudy skies.


The Seahawks Signed Jared Allen……


Why Tampa? Why?! You make all these signs but not Allen? That’s right because we don’t need sacks. Who needs sacks? I sure as hell don’t need sacks.


Jared Allen’s Mustache Gently Sweeping you off your Feet and Into The Weekend

-The Average Nobodies


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