Blog Archives

Cesaro & Tyson Kidd’s Friendship Is Getting More Adorable By The Day

Poor Tyson Kidd is out of action (and almost died) after a dark match with Samoa Joe. While his on screen and real life best friend Cesaro has been making the most out of his new opportunity the last few weeks, he’s also taking time out of his busy schedule to make sure his buddy Tyson Kidd is doing well. Kidd/Cesaro were a really fun tag team, and it’s cool to see that working together in the ring helped them become good friends in real life. Hopefully Cesaro continues to soar and Kidd comes back healthy and better than ever.

– Ryan

Insane Instagram Comments: Seth Rollins

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Sunset on the Mississippi. #nofilter

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For those of you that don’t know, Seth Rollins is a professional fake wrestler, and also happens to be the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. He’s a cross fit machine that has more abs muscles than I have muscles in general. He also seems like a pretty cool guy outside the ring, and posts pictures of sunsets on the Mississippi River. Why a picture of a sunset triggered someone to type “YOU FART IN ELEVATORS” is something I will never know, nor do I want to figure out why. The comments section of a famous person’s Instagram is a dangerous place. With Rollins social media history (nice dick), I’m actually surprised at how tame the comments are. Maybe the commenters are getting soft? Maybe they’ve lost their edge? Well I won’t have it. I have a blogging reputation to uphold and I need more insanity. Give me insane Instagram comments or give me death.

– Ryan

Game Of Thrones Has A Monopoly Game Now So You Can Cry Yourself To Sleep Year Round

Game of Thrones has a lot of balls coming out with a monopoly game after the shit they pulled in the season 5 season finale. I’m not going to spoil anything, but I am NOT happy. Anyway, this could be cool. Monopoly is one of those games that I’ve just learned to hate as I’ve gotten older. It takes so long to play, and the longer you’re playing the more pointless you realize the whole game is. I’m sure Game of Thrones added a few wrinkles to make sure you’re super depressed while playing too. Maybe instead of passing GO you have to watch your mother get stabbed or something. There’s no ‘Park Place’; you just die. Either way, I’m sure that they will sell a million games and George Rail Road Martin’s chuckle will continue to make children have night terrors.

– Ryan

After A Pic Of James Harden & Some Girl Leaked On Instagram The NBA Star Got Some Groupie Advice From…Bow Wow?

Yo i see yall boys still young rich and DUMB. Now james is my boy but let me say this now. This is how i USE to do it its called “leaving no evidence” if you was chilling w me my security takes phones and you signing papers. The rule is when she leaves she gets her phone back.

Secondly if u forgot to take phone make sure she sleep then find her phone (usually by side of bed) i would take it put it under the bed so i KNOW im good and could sleep peacefully. Yall be too comfy w/ brauds yall dont know!

I give credit to the ladies because most of us are just that rich and STUPID so yall know how to get us. I been caught up too before not knowing being a rookie but next time.. Leave no evidence. Sometimes i would sleep somewhere else leave them all by themselves but id be watching them from my security cam.

Fellas be smart we know the p***** is the most powerful thing but dont let it hypnotize you. Ladies when yall do stuff like this, it ruins it for you because we NEVER calling you again. Why mess it up over a proof pic that you twapping a rich dude. Was it worth it? YOOOOOO JAMES WAAAKE UP BRO! zzzzzz…. #feartheblonde

ps. This game aint for everybody! I took being a ladies man serious. You got to go all out PROTECT your brand your image.

Sounds like you’re in for a rip roaring time when you hang out with Bow Wow. He takes your phone AND your signing some kind of paper and then Bow Wow watches you sleep from his secure bunker. Party central. My favorite part of this post (besides the grammar, more on that later) is that this reads like some kind of dinner recipe. 1 cup of security takes phone. A dash of you signing papers. 3 sprinkles of making sure she’s asleep and finding her phone (usually by side of bed) & a big clump of putting that phone under the bed so you can sleep peacefully. Bow Wow has cracked the code, because everyone knows if you put someone’s phone under the bed they’re never finding it. Under the bed might as well be the lost city of Atlantis for cell phones.

On the one hand I’m glad Bow Wow’s alive, on the other hand he couldn’t possibly be more full of himself. At least he takes being a ladies man seriously though. Wouldn’t have been able to sleep this weekend without knowing that. I do want to get back to the grammar – I’m not a grammar Nazi (or any kind of Nazi) but this is written extremely poorly for someone of Bow Wow’s age. You’re 28. Get a fucking dictionary or a thesaurus or something. I know he found fame at a young age but this is just an abomination of the English language. At least now guys have the official handbook for how to hang out with girls. Make sure they sign them papers!

– Ryan

via Bro Bible & Bow Wow

Bad News Barrett Is Your 2015 King of the Ring

While I would have loved to have Neville become the King of the Ring just a few months after debuting, Barrett is the guy who needs this right now. I’m still not sure what ‘this’ is, as the WWE hasn’t really said anything about the winner of the KOTR getting any special opportunities, but he won a tournament and he won it clean. Neville is on the fast track to success, but he lost to a more experienced competitor who just needed this win more. Pushing multiple guys at once should always be the main focus in the WWE, as the more guys that are seen as special in the eyes of the fans, the more successful the company will be. With Daniel Bryan out of action for awhile, there’s one less championship to chase, so WWE should be creating personal feuds for the mid carders not going after Cena’s US title. Barrett’s win and coronation is a step in the right direction.

– Ryan

Insane Instagram Comments: Abella Anderson Gets An Odd Request


Porn stars are probably the easiest targets on Instagram, since most of the people who follow them are bloodthirsty horn dogs. So even when they post a picture as innocent as a couple takeout containers full of burgers and fries, the comment section is locked and loaded with some depraved comments. The only silver lining here is that porn stars HAVE to hear and see some really disturbing comments, so this is probably a welcome request to Abella Anderson. In the grand scheme of things, getting asked to have someone eat fast food off your ass really isn’t that bad. If you’ve ever scrolled through the comments on PornHub videos or any porn stars Twitter/Instagram you’ll realize that this request is as normal as apple pie, which is probably another thing @gooodlivin would like to eat off of Abella’s ass. Just another day in the life of a porn star.

– Ryan

The Average Nobodies Are On Instagram! @AverageNobodies

Since Matt will be heading to #SXSW on Friday and we’re always doing wild and crazy stuff, we decided to enter the Instagram game and share our travels with everyone else. While most of the pictures will be of our photo shopped heads inserted onto the bodies of actors sitting or standing next to Bill Paxton, there will be a mix of other things as well, including sneak previews of Twitter News Weekly and our podcast. Give us a follow @Averagenobodies and we’ll do the rest!

– The Average Nobodies

Every San Francisco 49er Is Either Retiring, Playing For Another Team Or Getting Arrested

WHYThis may be remembered as Black Monday for the 49ers, the day the team’s most important leaders — its heart and soul — left the building, while the bad news kept pouring in.

It started with the revelation that beloved running back Frank Gore was planning to leave the team as a free agent. That was quickly followed by a report that defensive end Justin Smith is planning to retire, although Smith has indicated a final decision will wait until next week. That’s not surprising, considering “Cowboy” will be 36 years old next season.

And, by the end of the day, another stunning report: Fullback Bruce Miller was arrested for domestic spousal abuse last week, the latest in a parade of 49ers to appear on police blotters.

If that weren’t enough, left guard Mike Iupati, a three-time Pro Bowler, plans to sign with Arizona when free agency begins at 1 p.m. Tuesday.

It was a day of shock waves. The team’s fans, still trying to process the upheaval that occurred when head coach Jim Harbaugh departed at season’s end, were left reeling.

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Legend. #FarewellPat

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Remember two years ago when the 49ers were in the Super Bowl, one win away from a Championship with their super talented quarterback, dominate defense and superb head coach? I do, because apparently that’s all 49ers fans are going to have to hold on to now that their coach was forced out of town, their quarterback is more concerned with arguing with Twitter trolls then becoming a better player and their entire defense is retiring or signing with other teams. The Patrick Willis news really hurts the most. I knew Harbaugh was gone, I knew Gore was most likely gone, I knew Justin Smith would probably retire and free agency signings affect every team. But Willis was our guy. An All Pro linebacker on the field, a locker room leader off the field and a guy you never heard a bad thing about. As long as we had him anchoring the middle of the field on defense, I always had a weird reassurance that we’d be OK. Maybe we wouldn’t be that dominate team that reached the Super Bowl, but we’d be OK. Now all I want to do is wallow in my own self pity. The life of a sports fan is a cruel one.

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– Ryan

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