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Insane Instagram Comments: Sam Smith Better Get Used To Kissing Demons

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This is obviously an insane thing to post on of all things an Instagram video of Sam Smith releasing the art to his new music video, but it also made me legitimately laugh out loud. The chain mail text/email/comment is a strategy as old as time, but this one automatically moves to the top of my list because it’s so vague and specific at the same time. It starts off specific: “post this on 15 other posts”, then gets very vague: “and you will be kissed”, then gets very specific again: “if you break the chain you will see a demon in 53 minutes”. Copying that comment on 15 other posts isn’t that difficult, but you have to make sure you’re posting it on celebrity posts where it can get lost in the comment shuffle and not your friends post where it’s the only comment and you look insane. The kissed thing creeps me out more than the demon thing if I’m being honest. It just says “you will be kissed”. By whom? I don’t want to share this comment to 15 different Instagram’s and then head out to the market and have some old man come over and try to kiss me. I’m not sure why my head jumped right to that specific scenario but it did and I really don’t want that to happen. You can’t post a comment like this and just be that vague in the middle of it. I want to know who I’m getting kissed by when I spread this propaganda around. If you know a demon is going to come 53 minutes after I refuse to share this comment then the least you can do is tell me who’s going to kiss me.

– Ryan

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Insane Instagram Comments – Mickie James

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Not even, poor, defenseless babies are safe in the world of insane Instagram comments! Clearly an aggressive move by day_nizzle13. I mean, come on, is that really necessary? Do you really need to comment on a new mothers Instagram account, in all capital letters, “LET ME SEE HIS DICK”? No, the answer is no, and it will always be “no”. There is no situation where a comment like this is warranted. Day_nizzle13, throttle back just a little bit, you don’t want to be that guy. You don’t want to be the guy asking to see baby dicks on Instagram. It’s not a good look for you, or anyone. If there was ever a time for Instagram to hit the self destruct button on an account, it’s now.

-Matt

Insane Instagram Comments – Lebron James

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Not even King James is safe from internet trolls. Really, shredman130? Really? You can literally see The King’s 6 pack tearing through his shirt. If Lebron James is fat then there isn’t a cow in Texas, and I know for a FACT that there are cows in Texas. Lots of them.

Insane Instagram Comments – Maryse

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Rock_is_cooking off to a vicious start to the week. If those other two lovely ladies (one includes former WWE Diva Kelly Kelly) look like “bitches”, and I can only gather he means look less than attractive, than I don’t want to live anymore. If they look like bitches, then I look like moss browning on the bottom side of a rock in the middle of the woods. rock_is_cooking, take it easy.

-Matt

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