— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) April 3, 2015
Zach Braff and Donald Faison have that ideal friendship that you never thought would exist between two co-stars in real life, and they both seem like pretty great guys as well. The state of Indiana, on the other hand, is embroiled in turmoil over it’s new Religious Freedom law, and pizza joints have already come out and said they will not cater any gay weddings. Besides the fact that gay couples aren’t clamoring for pizza themed weddings, it’s kind of shocking that people and companies STILL have these beliefs in 2015. But if they don’t want to make money or pizza for gay weddings, Zach Braff and Donald Faison will. I really hope that if they do make pizzas for a wedding, they deliver it on that boat. A+ effort.
If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! This royal baby nonsense has gone on far enough, and it’s time for the Average Nobodies to put our classy touch on the birth of the century. Here’s what we know, the baby is a boy…and that’s about it. So here are our top names we think Kate and Will should consider naming their little bundle of joy.
Prince Indiana Jones of Cambridge
Right out the gate this kid is going to be a stud, I can feel it. I mean come on, look at his mom, dad, aunt, and uncle. This royal offspring is swimming in good genes, i actually haven’t seen this good a gene pool since the Mannings and the Baldwins. To complement this kids deadly charm he needs to have a dynamite name. Prince Indy will be all the rage 20-something years from now. Named after one of the greatest humans to ever live, Prince Indiana will pick off where Harrison Ford left off, kicking ass and discovering ancient artifacts. Not to mention he will have good ‘ol Uncle Harry to come along on all of his adventures.
PS- Or we could go with Charlie Daniel’s suggestion
How about naming the royal baby Bubba.
— Charlie Daniels (@CharlieDaniels) July 23, 2013
Captain Jacob Van Loon of Cambridge
I like to picture the royal baby as a infant super villain. From day one he’s a terror for both William and Kate. He refuses to be another pawn in their royal power game, and at age 18, he runs away from home. No one hears from Captain Jacob until a few years later, when he battles his father for the title of undisputed ruler of England. Of course the English version of a power struggle will probably be a fencing match or who can eat the most crumpets in one sitting. Either way, Captain Jacob is going to be one bad ass baby.
P.S. I know the baby’s official title will be prince, but no self respecting villain can call themself a prince. Plus, if Jacob and William are ever on a boat, Jacob will be in charge. There is no higher authority on a boat then a captain.