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Average Nobodies Podcast

On this week’s show we’ve got Bills Mafia, Jolly Ranchers versus the internet and Justin Timberlake has us naked by the end of this podcast. You can chat with us on Twitter @AverageNobodies, toss us a like on Facebook @AverageNobodies and heart all our pictures on instagram, @AverageNobodies. Don’t forget, this podcast is available on iTunes, Stitcher Radio and YouTube.

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Hey Colorado: Smoke All the Weed You Want, But Don’t You Dare Let Your Kid Kiss a Girl on the Cheek

Source – A 6-year-old boy has been suspended from a Colorado school for kissing a girl on the cheek.

School officials in Canon City are accusing Hunter Yelton of sexual harassment and they want it on his school record.

“They sent me to the office, fair and square. I did something wrong and I feel sorry”

– Hunter Yelton

The boy’s mother tells KRDO-TV her son was suspended once before for kissing the girl and had disciplinary problems, but the girl did not object to being kissed. She told the station that the two children like each other.

“They sent me to the office, fair and square. I did something wrong and I feel sorry,” Yelton told the station. 

A School District RE-1 official says the repeat offenses meet the school policy definition of sexual harassment and they hope the tough standards will force the boy to change his behavior.

Yelton’s mother, Jennifer Saunders, wants sexual harassment removed from his record.

“I’m going to stand up and fight for him because that’s not the case, that’s not what happened at all,” she told the station.

 

This is the weirdest story I’ve ever read. Are they really charging this kid with sexual harassment? Is this real life? Seriously what the hell is happening in Colorado, or America in general for that matter. A 6 year old boy kissed a girl in his class on the cheek. Better call the National Guard. Better yet, let’s register this kid as a sex offender, lock him up for life and throw away the key. The worst part of this whole story is that the school is making poor Hunter feel like he did something wrong. And for whatever reason, the local news station actually took a statement from a 6 year old like he’s going on trial. When you suspend little kids for being little kids, you shouldn’t wonder why they grow up to be lunatics. This whole story reaffirms my belief that we might actually be living in a bizarro Matrix world. No other explanation for something like this actually happening.

– Ryan

Is ‘Ghost Hunting’ the Greatest Robbery Excuse Ever?

Two ghost-hunting tourists and their guide were mistaken for burglars while exploring an abandoned Civil War-era building.        

According to The Associated Press, police in Pennsylvania are investigating after a police officer mistook two tourists and a tour guide for burglars and arrested them. The officer reportedly passed by an old Civil War-era building in Gettysburg and saw flashlights inside. Thinking he was witnessing a burglary in progress, he went in, handcuffed, searched and detained the three ghost hunters at gunpoint.

It was later confirmed that the tour guide had permission to use the allegedly haunted building for tours.

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I hope all the burglars out there are taking notes. Because apparently the ol’ “hunting for ghosts” story actually works. That’s the best built in excuse ever. Ghost hunters and burglars probably dress the same. I imagine they have similar styles. They both have to be quiet, they both use flashlights and they’re both insane. Now that I think of it ghost hunters and burglars are pretty much indistinguishable from each other. I wonder if Scooby Doo and his band of assholes were actually burglars. If they were, I just discovered the greatest fictional cover up in history. I think i just blew my own mind.

– Ryan

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