Blog Archives
Anyone Have a Spare Set of Ankles That Luol Deng Could Have?
After enjoying his breakout season last year, DeMar DeRozan looks like he is coming out of the gate HOT and primed for another stellar season. Dropping 30 in a loss to the Heat is nothing to be ashamed about. The future is bright for this young Canadian baller. See you Wednesday night in Boston, DeMar!
-Matt
Hey Cleveland Fans
Before you start jumping back on the Lebron dick train I want you to remember one thing….
Have a GREAT season you animals.
Lebron James Had to Be Carried to the Bench During Last Night’s Game Because of Cramps
Here’s the thing: cramps suck, especially for a basketball player like Lebron, who routinely plays 40-42 out of 48 minutes in a game. Add in the fact that the air conditioning broke and it was apparently 90 degrees inside the AT&T Center and I can understand you getting cramps in your legs. But come on. Game 1 of the NBA Finals, you’re going for a three peat and trying to get your team into the “greatest teams ever” discussion…and you leave the game with cramps. I’m rooting for the Heat to win. I no longer despise Lebron, because it’s clear he’s the best player on the planet and saying otherwise at this point in his career makes you look very, very stupid. No one can guard him, and he can guard ANYONE on the other team. What else do you want in a player? But situations like these make it really hard to defend him. How can one of, if not the best athlete in the world continually leave the game with cramps? It doesn’t seem possible that this can keep happening. Is he not hydrating himself? Are the trainers Texan spies? It really boggles my mind. I hope Lebron comes back strong Sunday and the Heat rally off four straight wins and we can get past this. But for now, bring on the Midol jokes. Lebron has cramps.
– Ryan
Did You Guys Hear Lebron James Scored 61 Points Last Night?
Lebron James really gets no respect. The guy goes out and puts on an unbelievable performance against one of the best teams in the NBA and it barely got any media coverage. ESPN basically ignored it. No major news outlets like the NY Post and Associated Press reported on it. It’s almost as if it never happened. This once again proves that Lebron is one of if not THE most underrated athlete of our time. I pray for the day when he gets the exposure he deserves.
– Ryan
Lebron James Channeling His Inner Philippe From Man in the Iron Mask
Is Lebron trying to overthrow his evil twin brother or playing a basketball game? Because I honestly can’t tell. If Lebron wants to know why the whole world hates him, look no further than last night. A few years ago Lebron got a face boo boo while playing for the Cavs and wore a regular face mask. Now he gets the same boo boo and of course he has to make a spectacle of it. He knew the game was on TNT. He knew it would get national coverage. And now instead of the story being about his TEAM winning the game, SportsCenter will have 18 different segments dedicated to his mask. Puke city.
– Ryan
Lebron James Was Being Attacked by Hollow Man Last Night
Flop city. Population: Lebron James. Come on dude, you are physically the strongest guy on the court, at all times, there is no need for flops of this magnitude. Clean it up, Lebron.
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Michael Beasley Beat the Shit Out of Himself During the Heat’s Preseason Game
(Source) “Michael Beasley is pretty hard on himself sometimes. Beasley received his first minutes of playing time and he was great. He scored nine points in his first five minutes of action and was diving on the floor and doing things coaches generally like to see out of players trying to make a roster. Of course, Beasley also did something a little odd after one offensive play. Upset with himself over missing a shot, Beasley started punching himself in the head while running back on defense. He punched himself so hard that he needed treatment after the game from the Heat’s trainer. Steel compresses (like the ones cut doctors use in boxing) were applied to Beasley’s brow in the locker room.”
Anyone who has ever wondered why Michael Beasley never panned out should look no further than this story. He’s on the best team in the world, with the best player in the world, and all he has to do is not be an asshole and he’ll win an NBA title. What does he do? He scores 9 points in 5 minutes (very good) and punches himself repeatedly in the head after a missed shot (very bad). Punching yourself in the head so hard that you need medical treatment is the definition of being an asshole. Somebody get Beasly a bag of skittles and some Sprite for that self inflicted hangover pronto.
– Ryan
Would You Pay $1M to Watch a Lakers/Heat Game Courtside in Miami?
(Source) Did you just win the lottery? Oh good, because I have a terrific way for you to spend some of that money.
If you’re in the market to drop a cool million on a basketball game, then the matchup between the Miami Heat and Los Angeles Lakers on Jan. 23 is one for you. For that game, tickets are going for the bargain price of $1.1 million.
That’s not a joke.
Would I pay $1M to watch a Lakers/Heat game?
I’d rather buy one million hamburgers from McDonalds and die from obesity than ever go to a Miami Heat home game.
– Ryan