Celebrities and Halloween: a match made in heaven. Thanks to the internet, we got to see hundreds of celebrities dressed up this year, but we narrowed it down to our favorite ones.
Leonardo ” I Can Dress Like This and Still Get More Girls Than You” DiCaprio
This is when you know you have “it”. You dress as whatever the hell this is, and still come off as the coolest guy in the room. I don’t know what look Leo was going for, but I do know I’ll be wearing the exact same thing next year.
Tom “The Cowardly Lion” Brady and Gisele “Hot Dorothy” Bundchen
The ultimate power couple is at it again! Being a die-hard Bucs fan has no advantages, but at least I get to see the home team, and more specifically Tommy here, strut his stuff with his smoking hot wife. They could have dressed as giant fleas and still would have gotten my vote.
If You Steal and return a 255lb Pumpkin, It’s Because You Had No Where to Put It, Not Because You’re a Nice Guy
YORK, Pa. — YORK, Pa. (AP) — A thief has returned a 255-pound pumpkin that a central Pennsylvania boy won by correctly guessing its weight — along with a note apologizing for the theft.
Nine-year-old Jaiden Newcomer of York won the pumpkin at an Oktoberfest celebration in Windsor Township. He had displayed the giant pumpkin on his family’s porch until it was stolen last week.
But the York Dispatch reports (http://bit.ly/16pZ6hd ) the pumpkin was back on the family’s porch Sunday evening after it returned from a weekend trip.
The thief also left a note saying: “I’m really sorry about taking your pumpkin, it was wrong of me, you earned the pumpkin, I didn’t think my actions through nor realize who they were affecting. Sincerest apologies.”
Amy Newcomer says her son is “very excited. He’s beside himself.” -HuffPost
I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. No one steals a 250+ pound pumpkin and gives it back, with a note, unless you had no where to hide it. I picture this scenario like the movie The Barbershop. When Anthony Anderson and his bonehead cousin steal that ATM, but they have no way of opening it or storing it so they are constantly pushing it around town.
I guess I should give the thief some credit though. If that was me with an oversized pumpkin, i’d probably just leave it somewhere. No way the oversized pumpkin pie I had floating around in my mind was worth that hassle. Even though that would be all kinds of delicious
PS- 250lbs? That’s rookie pumpkin weight. Check this guy at the Durham Faire. Photo Credit…YA BOY
This world is full of hate and uncertainty. But, among the rubble of a society tearing itself apart there are beacons of hope I look to. Once these are gone then we have truly lost our way.
- The High Beam Flash – Your speeding down a road when suddenly someone coming from the opposite way flashes you with their high beams. You immediately slow down and sure enough right around the corner is a cop, just waiting to tag you will a $100+ dollar speeding ticket. EVEN IF YOU WERE ONLY GOING 8 OVER TH…….never mind, I digress. This is the ultimate “help thy neighbor” move. Not to mention I’m pretty sure it’s one of the Ten Commandments. Yeah, something like: “Thou shalt always warn a fellow driver when a pig layith in wait around a bend”. I read that…in a book.
- YouTube Videos – Here’s the scenario, you are setting up your new wifi router and cant get it to work. Obviously you already threw out the manual (who reads those fucking things anyway) so you are kinda screwed. But wait! The best resource on how-to’s since Google is right in front of you; YouTube. The amount of tutorial videos on Youtube is insane to me! How in the world do these people have the time to build and review a piece of furniture they got from Ikea?! Don’t get me wrong, i’m not complaining. I use these videos all the time and I salute the people who make them. Maybe i’ll start making some helpful Youtube videos and stop posting videos of my friends getting hurt. I said MAYBE.
- Halloween – (Credit to Tom Pags) Halloween is the one time of year when people can go door to door to complete strangers house and get free candy! And on the flip side people are opening up their doors to complete strangers dressed at David Bowie and giving them free stuff! Any other time of the year and you are telling those people to take a hike, or in some parts of the country, blowing their heads off with a .22. Other holidays you are only giving to people you know but on Halloween you give to everyone. When Halloween goes, thats when you know its time to panic. A little “FYI” for ya. If your house gives apples you are not participating in Halloween; take a hike.
So I graduated from college a few years back and I’ve become a bigger piece of shit than I could have ever imagined. I mean I know I was on my way, but whatever. My current boss is also my former landlord. When I was a senior, my buddies and I rented his house…and trashed it. I’ve been working for him for a year and a half now, and I’ve been reminded of it every day. Every piece of furniture got broken, holes in the wall, carpets destroyed (pun totally intended), and bathrooms too gross for for Deuce Bigalow’s dad to clean. This is my cross to bare.
Now if you’re renting a house this summer, here’s a few tips.
1. Never rent it from someone you know
2. Remove everything that can break aka make it look like a bare walled serial killers cottage
3. Kegs over cans
4. Try not to wrestle, I mean really try
5. If need be, puke outside, not in a bed/couch, same with pissing…and screwing?
6. One cowboy hat per gang
7. The less shirts the better
8. Involve a water activity with a drinking game (girls go nuts for that shit)
9. Someone needs to bring a dog that drinks beer because it’s hilarious
10. Get drunk while you clean up
This list can be edited of course, but you get my point. I’m trying to party, not win a lifetime achievement award. For a few ideas, check out the video below and let the games begin!