Blog Archives

WWE’s Mr. T “Happy Mother’s Day Message” Was Mildly Offensive

So Mr. T went on and on about his mother during his Hall of Fame induction speech last month, so what does WWE do? They turn it into a Mother’s Day remix that will haunt my dreams forever. This seemed highly unnecessary, especially since Mother’s Day isn’t that big of a holiday. I can’t imagine someone who takes themself as seriously as Mr. T approved this video, which actually makes it a little better, but its still too awful for my tastes. How about a 5 second “Happy Mother’s Day from the WWE’ graphic next year, WWE. I think that’ll get the point across without subjecting anyone to this horrible video.

– Ryan

The 2014 WWE Hall of Fame Rings are Real and They’re Spectacular

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Great Lincoln’s beard these are awesome. I can honestly say that I would pick a WWE Hall of Fame ring over any championship ring from a major sport. There are so many guys who get a world series or Superbowl ring and they had nothing to do with helping the team win, but a WWE Hall of Fame ring is something earned by the individual. It just oozes class. Vince McMahon has outdone himself again.

– Ryan

The Ultimate Warrior is Finally Going Into the WWE Hall of Fame. Let’s Celebrate With His Craziest Promo’s

Long overdue selection, and I’m proud to say the Average Nobodies were there live last night in Providence to witness the announcement. The best thing about Warrior going into the hall of fame is now a new generation can relive his absolutely bonkers promo’s. Warrior wasn’t a great wrestler. Warrior wasn’t a great talker. He was a body with charisma, and that got him a long, long way. If you’ve never heard a Warrior promo, sit back and enjoy. My personal favorite is the one where he inhale snorts for an uncomfortable length of time.

– Ryan

Barbie Dolls Being in the Toy Hall of Fame Before Ninja Turtles is Bullshit

(Source) ROCHESTER, N.Y. — The National Toy Hall of Fame has narrowed the nominees for its class of 2013.

This year’s finalists are: Bubbles, chess, the board game Clue, Fisher-Price Little People, little green Army men, the Magic 8 Ball, My Little Pony, Nerf toys, the Pac-Man video game, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the scooter and the rubber duck.

The museum announced the 12 finalists Tuesday, two of which will be enshrined alongside Barbie, the hula hoop, Lionel trains and dozens of other famous playthings next month.

A national selection committee will vote on which two will follow last year’s winners, dominoes and “Star Wars” action figures, into the 15-year-old hall, located inside The Strong museum in Rochester.

Anyone can nominate a toy for induction. A museum committee of curators, educators and historians chooses the finalists based on a toy’s longevity, innovation, and other attributes. Each toy must be widely recognized; foster learning, creativity or discovery through play; and endure in popularity over generations, according to the hall.

This year’s nominees trace their origins across centuries, from chess, which evolved in England during the 15th century, to the rubber ducky, which appeared in the 1800s, to Pac-Man and My Little Pony, which appeared in the 1980s.

A Chicago company called Chemtoy sold the first soap bubble solution in the 1940s, though paintings of children playing with bubbles appeared in the country of Flanders in the 17th century, hall officials said.

Some of the nominees have made the finals before, including plastic green Army men, Clue and the Magic 8 Ball. Thousands of suggestions come in every year.

Previous winners range from classics, like Play-Doh and Slinky, to the less obvious, like the stick and cardboard box. This year’s winners will be announced at an induction ceremony Nov. 7.”

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Are you shitting me? How do barbie dolls get into the Toy Hall of Fame before the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? So a blonde with a clear eating disorder who only hangs out with beautiful people gets the star treatment while the less handsome Ninja Turtles get shafted? I thought we were trying to promote an anti-bully culture here in America. Barbie is the ultimate bully. Meanwhile the ninja turtles are relegated to living in sewers, eating nothing but pizza and taking orders from an aging rat. Still, the Ninja Turtles have never complained. They don’t demand praise like Barbie does. Barbie always had to get a new car, a new playhouse, a new boyfriend. The Ninja Turtles have worn the same goddamn bandana’s for the past 30 years. The least the Toy Hall of Fame could have done was show them the respect they deserve and induct them in before some Jezebel. Nope. Disrespected again. The next time some alien who sounds weirdly similar to Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince starts terrorizing America don’t be surprised if a group of talking turtles and a rat with a walking stick aren’t there to help you.

– Ryan

Arsenio Hall Is Back

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Arsenio might have been out of the game for awhile but he obviously hasn’t lost his touch. If you have a guy in the audience with an eye patch you have to find some way of getting him on the air. I don’t care if you need to rewrite the whole show. Find some way of getting him on air, preferably positioning him as some type of stalker. That’s just what Arsenio did. That stereotype will never get old. People with eye patches are the coolest and the creepiest people in the world. Takes a special gene to pull that off.

– Ryan