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Monster Blog Wednesday: Del Fuego’s Greatest Hits

We honestly don’t know how to preface this week’s monster blog. Let’s just say that while Del Fuego started his journey on YouTube, we wouldn’t be surprised if he ended it playing at the Grammy’s/some guy’s basement. While the Average Nobodies technically didn’t discover him, we want to be the one to push him to the top. Be the Usher to his Justin Bieber, the Sonny to his Cher, the Dr. Dre to his Eminem. Now, onto our favorite freestyles:

After Gym Freestyle

My favorite part of the After Gym Freestyle (and ever other freestyle for that matter) is the way he clearly looks at the scenery around him and creates his freestyle from there. You really need to watch this one to the end so you can hear him name drop Luxury Cleaners and Hess. Bad ass city, population Del Fuego. The bad news from this rap: Del Fuego is apparently a public masturbator, which is really just a haunting image. He also does not care about red lights or speed limits, and the strip club took away his knife :(. The good news from this rap: Del Fuego will still fuck you even if you’re A.) Fat or B.) Ugly. Also, just so we’re all clear, he’s only at the gay bar for the hay.

– Ryan

Drivin to Work Freestyle

I get it, some mornings you wake up and say “I feel like freestyling on my way into work”. For BDog, that morning was just one of those days. You’ve done it, I’ve done it, I’m pretty sure my grandma and her friends drop a sick beat on the way to church, but what makes this freestyle different from all the others are the lyrics. Pure, raw, creative, unfiltered, and real are a few words you could use to describe these rhymes. I wouldn’t use those words to describe them, but I guess you could. Let’s get one thing straight, I’ve watched pretty much all of his videos and there is one overarching theme, masturbation. Public, private, on drugs, all types of masturbation. I can’t say I’ve ever included masturbation into any of my casual at home freestyles but I can’t knock the hustle. Another key part of his fresh rhymes is his clear disregard for the law. Lines like “I shoot weapons at your wife, YA!” and  “I don’t give a fuck, sign says stop, Ima keep going” show that BDog is clearly not a man to be messed with. I wouldn’t step to him on my best day.

I leave you with this, the one line that will forever be burned into my brain.  “i’m peeing, I wear a diaper, I drive a Viper”

Keep doing you, BDog.

-Matt

PS- So Bdog drives around with CD’s in his car of just rap instrumentals? Savage move.

 

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Monster Blog Thursday – New Year Resolutions

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It’s the tale as old as time and song as old as rhyme – new year resolutions. It’s that glorious time of year! The time where everyone puts out their goals for the new year!  It’s a time for gym membership renewals, shopping at Whole Foods, giving up swearing, and overall being nicer to others…..for about the first month. In honor of this yearly tradition here are our new year, or at least January, resolutions.

One Snap Chat Per Day

I admit it. I am an over Snap Chatter. I am constantly snapping and sending pictures and videos to my friends via this new and great app. However, I do realize that I might need to cut down. So, for 2014 I will try limiting myself to one snap a day. TRY. How is the world going to live without snap chats like this?!

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-Matt

Wear More Hoodless Sweatshirts

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I’m done lying to myself. I’m not going to change my diet or go to the gym more (at all). I’m perfectly content with my lifestyle. Is it the healthiest lifestyle around? Probably not, but Evil Knievel wasn’t healthy either and he turned out okay. What I can, and will change, is my wardrobe. I need to wear more hoodless sweatshirts. Plain and simple. Old men are always ahead of the curve when it comes to clothing, and the amount of old men that wear hoodless sweatshirts are astronomical. In fact, the more I wear hoodless sweatshirts the healthier I’ll probably become. Killing two birds with one stone, which also happens to be another new years resolution, but I’ll save that for another day.

– Ryan

What Just Happened

At the 2:15 mark I nearly pissed myself. How the hell can the human body do that?! It defies everything I know about bones and muscles (which isn’t much, but still!). I think what I’m going to do is recreate this with Ryan and our friend Derek, and see what happens.

If you stop seeing new posts over the next few days, someone call 9-1-1.

-Matt

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