I love Gronkowski. He’s the only tolerable member of the Patriots that non Patriot’s fans can root for. But if I were a Pats fan, I’d be a little upset with him. Athletes can do whatever they want in the off season. Is it ideal that they train and stay in shape and try to get smarter and stronger? Sure. But if a professional athlete wants to blow off some steam and go to Vegas for a few weeks and get drunk and party with porn stars who are we to tell him no? As long as they’re ready to perform when the season starts, I’m OK with it. The only problem with Gronkowski is that he’s the largest human ever who is apparently made entirely of glass. He had back surgery in college, and has dealt with serious ankle, forearm and now knee issues. Maybe dominating comedy shows and bench pressing comedians is the magical formula. My bet is on Belichick letting him go after the 2014 season.
We’re not what you would call brilliant men. The good Lord didn’t bless up with fully functioning brains. But we’ll be damned if we can’t come up with some creative names for our fantasy football teams. Each year around mid August, men come together, in bars and basements alike, for one beautiful cause: their fantasy football draft. Should you go running back running back? Is Adrian Peterson trustworthy enough to be picked #1? The decisions are endless, but it all starts with one thing: your team name. Some are creative, some are funny, and some are downright genius. Don’t have a team name yet? Check out our list of fantasy football teams for the upcoming season.
RyanFoges’s Top 3
1. Tracy Chapman’s Fast Cars
Really has nothing to do with football, but when you include one of the greatest songs of our generation into your team name, only good things can happen.
2. Rob Gronkowski’s School For Kids Who Can’t Read Good
He may be legally retarded, but the man can play football. With this name, your team will be like Gronk himself, the biggest wildcard in fantasy football, especially when you combine his streak of injuries and his blatant refusal to rehab them correctly.
3. Red White & Drew Bledsoe’s
Drew Bledsoe is the coolest name in NFL history. America is the greatest country in the world. With this team name, fantasy football glory is yours.
MattyV’s Top 3
1. Attempted Murder
A team name dripping with double meaning. I bet you didn’t know that a group of crows is called a murder.
2. John Mayer’s Bed Post
John Mayer’s bed post is notched with all-stars and so is your fantasy team.
3. Lieutenant Dan’s Platoon
Lt. Dan Taylor might have lost his legs in the war, but you won’t lose a game with this team name. Naming your team after this American hero is the first step towards greatness.