1. The Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness
– Every great man needs a pyramid of greatness. Unwritten rule of life. This is how boys become men, and men become heroes. Ever heard of a hero drinking skim milk? Neither have I.
2. Eat Like a Champion, Live Like a Champion
– Steaks, eggs, bacon. If you can’t succeed on that diet, maybe you’re not cut out for life in the fast lane. I know for a fact that if I only ate steak, bacon and eggs during my childhood I’d be a professional athlete. Or dead. Either way, Ron Swanson is right.
3. The Power of the Mustache
– Behind every mediocre man, you’ll find a great man with a mustache. Teddy Roosevelt, Martin Luther King, Jr, Tom Selleck, Freddie Mercury, Ron Swanson. All American heroes. All hall of fame mustaches.
4. The Best Government is No Government At All
– I’m not saying the government shutdown wouldn’t have happened if Ron Swanson was in charge, but there’s a good chance it wouldn’t have happened. That’s the beauty of the pyramid of greatness: it’s useful in ever facet of life, including the government. Combine that with his eating habits and panty dropping mustache, and you have the greatest mentor in the history of the world.