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Biquette, The Most Metal Goat in the World, Passed Away

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Biquette, which is actually French for “goat,” was 10 years old, according to Flo. She’d spent the first half of her life in a milking factory, and was then handed over to the farm, where she immediately started to hang out at the shows. “Seeing as the barn floor where we throw the concerts is wooden, I think that she felt the vibrations in her hooves,” Flo said. Flo added that the goat really enjoyed any settings with lots of people, and would hang out whenever there was a gathering.

Wormrot’s manager said that Biquette was very tame, and followed the Maylaysian grindcore band around like a dog. “When it was Wormrot’s turn to play, the goat suddenly went in front of the crowd and watched them play the whole set,” Azean Rot said. “It was just chilling around the corner when other bands were playing.”

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And grindcore wasn’t Biquette’s only vice. Flo told Noisey that she loved tobacco and alcohol, which might have even contributed to her early demise. While they obviously wouldn’t feed the goat that stuff, she would eat cigarette butts from ashtrays and even try to take lit cigarettes from people smoking.  And she would try to consume paint and oil as well. However, Flo thinks Biquette might have passed away from a complete cleaning of the farm, along with a regime change of people. But apparently, she should have lived for another ten years. Rest In Peace, Biquette. You lived as you died – the most metal goat ever. If you want to leave your condolences, you can do it on Biguette’s Facebook page. Yes, the goat had a Facebook page. – Metal Insider

wormrotgoat1-300x300I’ve never wanted to meet a goat as much as I want to meet Biquette. Unfortunately for the metal world she has passed away. A Goat who sat front row to everyone of her favorite shows. A Goat who liked to party as much as the next metal loving goat. Eating cigarettes and drinking oil might have been the reason she passed, but that is the kinda goat Biquette was. She didn’t give a fuck about norms and did what she wanted, and there is nothing more “metal” than that.

-Matt

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Taylor Swift is Ruining Rhode Island According to Rhode Islanders

Source – Taylor Swift has walked into trouble in the exclusive beachside community where she bought an $18million vacation home this summer – building an enormous sea wall that has left local residents furious.

After the 24-year-old singer purchased the largest and most lavish property in Watch Hill, Rhode Island – a neighborhood filled with large and lavish properties – she began rebuilding a seawall on the beach in front of the mansion.

The construction project, which began with no public notice, has made some neighbors and longtime residents of the area furious because it restricts access to a public beach and interferes with fishermen and surfers who have been using the stretch of sand for generations.

‘I don’t know how the hell they let her do this without approval or nothing,’ a furious Richard Bishop, 76, told MailOnline as he climbed atop the wall to survey the development.

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Way to go, T-Swift. You think just because you spent $18 million that you can do whatever you want to our voluptuous coastline? Don’t you know people surf there and the elderly need their sun bathing space? The nerve on this girl. I’ve been saying it for awhile now but Taylor Swift is getting too big for her britches. You can serial date all you want, but once you start messing with Rhode Islanders, I have to draw the line. We may not be as crazy as Florida, but Rhode Island has a lot of psychopaths. If you took away our coastline, we’d literally be the saddest state in the country, possibly the world. So we will defend that coastline to the death. If Taylor Swift thinks she’s going to build a seawall on our watch she has another thing coming. This means war. Hit the music!

Jose Canseco, Maybe The Answer is the Simplest of All.

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Classic. What’s the best way to avoid drowning? Don’t get in the fucking water. Hey Jose, i’m not sure what the hell is happening at your place, but is this really a question to pose on twitter? Like you’re ever going to get back a serious answer.

-MattyV

Apparently Rhode Island Is Stalker Central

“Taylor Swift has to deal with guys not loving her back pretty often, but this time around she’s got one guy who just won’t get out of her hair — and who’s straight up scary. The ‘Everything Has Changed’ singer reportedly has a full-blown stalker, and the perp was arrested after he tried passing her security guard a love letter while trespassing on her Rhode Island property. Swift, who’s dated men ranging from older (John Mayer) to barely legal (Conor Kennedy) has standards, and 55-year-old Joseph Bernatche didn’t meet them. The Portland, Maine man was arrested on July 27 for allegedly trespassing on Swift’s palatial property, something his lawyer denies. “We deny that Mr. Bernatche was ever on Ms. Swift’s property,” Bernatche’s attorney Michael J. Robinson told Radar Online. “The security guards have a job to do and I don’t blame them. They do what they think they have to do. In this case, I think they were just being overly zealous, overly cautious.” So what exactly happened? According to Robinson, not much. “Mr. Bernatche showed up and parked at the house next to Taylor Swift’s,” Robinson says. “He was carrying a note [with his phone number on it]. He signals to the security guard to come down and hands him the note. He says, ‘I’m not here to trespass, I’m just here to deliver this note. If you would kindly give this to Taylor Swift, that’s my sole purpose for being here.’” Right. Does that sound like any conversation you’ve ever heard? Robinson continued, “The security guard reads the note, gets the license plate, and my client walks away … [Bernatche] was driving away from Ms. Swift’s property when he was stopped and arrested by the Westerly Police.” Though Bernatche has a history of trespassing on Swift’s Rhode Island property, Robin asserts that proving such a case won’t be easy for the cops — so the likely disturbed man will may get off scott-free.” – Star Crush

This is why we can’t have nice things. Rhode Island’s beautiful beaches finally lure a celebrity in her prime and now every middle aged psychopath is trying to scare her away. I love how the lawyer is trying to play this off as a normal person move. Normal people don’t do this. They don’t get caught trespassing numerous times then park their car next door and try to deliver a note with their phone number on it. Also, normal people don’t look like this:

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Until recently I was off the T-Swift bandwagon, but now that all these crazies are trying to abduct her, I think she needs me back. Hey Tay, I’m driving the bus again baby. I can be casual yet fierce, as shown by this picture of me and my long toothed friend.

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Worry free times indeed.

– Ryan

P.S. If this song wasn’t playing as Joe was walking towards the security gate then I’ve lost all my faith in humanity

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