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Danielle Fishel (Topanga) Has the Potential to Have the Longest Prime Ever

The cast of ‘Girl Meets World’ threw out the first pitch at the Dodgers game last night, and I’m definitely not going to spend my whole summer re-watching ‘Boy Meets World’ because I miss it so much. Anyway, an important revelation came out of last night’s first pitch: Danielle Fishel, who played Topanga, is still smoking hot. She did a Maxim spread last year that was probably my favorite thing ever, and to see her again last night solidified the fact that she’s in the middle of one of the longest primes of all-time. Topanga Lawrence’s is my generation’s TV crush, so my opinion may be biased, but you can’t deny the photographic evidence of her insane hotness.

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That’s a solid 15 years of greatness, and she’s only 33. With her genes and the advancement in modern science, I could see her continuing this trend for another 10-15 years. Show me someone who wasn’t in love with Topanga Lawrence and I’ll show you a piece of shit liar. It’s as simple as that.

– Ryan

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I’ve Never Seen Someone so Happy To Get Laid Out By a Cake Before

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Just pure joy and excitement spread across this girls face. She had zero intentions of stopping that cake. She wanted all of it. This girl’s mantra is as follows: Rave, cake knockout punch, brush hair back, repeat. All damn day.

-Matt

Lolo Jones is the Hottest Thing in Bobsledding

 

 

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Ever since Lolo jumped on the scene, and into my heart, at the last Olympics I have been following her (on social media) like a well trained stalker (that doesn’t help my case). I love you, Lolo. Be my valentine?

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As Expected, Saturday Night Live Has the Best Parody of “The Fox”

It was only a matter of time before SNL got their hands on the weird sensation that is “the fox”. As usual, their parody of a viral hit is smart and hysterical. Nobody cheats on Kerry Washington and gets away with it.

– Ryan

P.S. Full SNL review will be here Wednesday.

A Rare Saber-tooth Whale and the Dummy Pointing to it

Stejneger's Beaked Whale, Heather Doyle

A rare whale that has a dolphin-shaped head and saber-like teeth has been found dead on Los Angeles’ Venice Beach, even though it prefers frigid subarctic waters.

The roughly 15-foot-long female Stejneger’s beaked whale washed ashore Tuesday night, the Los Angeles Times reported. A truck hauled away the mammal, which was being examined at the Los Angeles County Natural History Museum to determine how it died. – FoxNews.com

I am all about cool and interesting nature things, so obviously I clicked this link as fast as my mouse could move. Page loads and I am immediately over the whole thing. You know why? This chick pointing at the whales dead body. Not that i’m upset or surprised the rare whale was dead, I knew that going in, but the fact that she has to point it out to me. Oh, you mean you’re not showing me the tow truck? You’re showing me the giant whale carcass on the back? Wow, mind blown.

Stick your finger somewhere else, lady.

-MattyV

***Update*** Twitter got upset I that i was hating on this lady.

At This Point I Should Have Suspected A Man In Florida Would Beat His Kid, for 40 minutes, to the Beat of “Blurred Lines”

A Florida man is facing charges of felony child abuse after being accused of hitting his daughter for 40 minutes “to the beat” of Robin Thicke’s summer hit “Blurred Lines.”

An Escambia County Sheriff’s report said that a complaint was filed against 40-year-old Steven Grady Fillingim for child abuse after he beat his daughter for being “lazy” and skipping school.

When investigators spoke to the girl on Sunday, she told them that her father hit her on the face with his belt and with his hands because she had not vacuumed bugs that were in the family’s home on Saturday. As part of her punishment, she was made to hold a 20 pound weight in front of her body and then hold an 8 pound weight behind her.

She was also forced to shovel dirt for a period of 90 minutes.

On Thursday, the girl said that her father acted normal when she came home even though she had gotten in trouble for skipping school that day. But at around 9 p.m., he began to lash her with a switch.

She told investigators that he hit her “for approximately 40 minutes using the switch like a whip,” the police report said. “As he was striking [the girl], S/Steven Fillingim played the Robin Thicke song ‘Blurred Lines,’ striking her with the switch to the beat of the music.” -RawStory.com

Really Florida? Just when I thought you couldn’t produce anymore “winners” you give us Grady Fillingim. A complete scum bag of a human beings that beat his out daughter for 40 minutes to the tune of Blurred Lines, by Robin Thick  (40 minutes approximately equates to playing it ten times). I love that song, such a jam, but honestly it doesn’t make me want to beat the crap out of kids. It just doesn’t. Now, when I listen to DMX I get a little crazy, sure, but never even close to wanting to hurt an innocent kid. Grady, I really hope you find some guys in prison to return the favor. But instead of “Blurred Lines” ten times, I hope they go with “Stairway to Heaven” ten times. That’s a much longer song.

-MattyV

Kate Upton Should Run For Queen Of America

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I’ve always been a fan of England’s power system. The prime minister might think he makes the decisions but it’s really up to the king and queen. He knows it, I know it, you know it. Being “the king” of something just sounds so much more badass than President. Companies have presidents. Country’s should have kings and queen. If America is going to name our first queen it should be someone who makes the Queen of England look like an old piece of shit. While that’s pretty much the easiest thing in the world to do, it would still be nice for the Queen of America to be someone who is nice to look at and has hall of fame boobs. Enter Kate Upton. Talk about having the world by the balls. SI cover girl two times over. Movie star. Model of the Year. Oh yeah and she’s 21. No biggie smalls. Get Clooney as her king and this country will prosper like never before.

– Ryan

Geometry At NASCAR?

Just another normal day at the track.  NASCAR fans drinking, swearing, and slapping each other up side the head.  That’s why I don’t find the following video out of the ordinary……unless you look closer

This is a video from the NASCAR All-Star race earlier this month.  Jimmie Johnson captures the checkered flag, which upsets a lot of people including this guy who throws a beer in JJ’s general direction.  After the beer hits the asphalt the girl to the left of him turns to him and delivers some verbal strikes followed up with a mighty bitch slap. But like I said, nothing out of the ordinary in this type of environment.  The thing that I am shocked about is that she has the awareness to know that HE threw that beer. Go ahead, watch it again, he is standing slightly behind her line of sight and she only reacts when the can hits the pavement! She didn’t even flinch when he threw it! Is she a fucking geometry savant trapped in a white trash body? I picture a CSI moment happening in her head in that exact moment.  She does all the math in her head, runs through evidence, enhances a few pictures, makes a graph, bangs Gil Grissom, and comes to her conclusion. “The speed and angle at which the can struck the road could only come from one place…this dick head behind me!” SLLLLLAAAAAPPPPP.

Get this chick an IQ test, could go either way.

-MattyV

P.S. Flag on the play, the beer isn’t empty! Come on man, you’re better than this.  This isn’t a ballet, this is NASCAR, finish your beer!

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