Blog Archives

Dale Hansen Just Mic Dropped the Entire World

World, Dale Hansen; Dale Hansen, world. This is as good a two minute take on any subject as you’ll ever see. And Dale Hansen couldn’t be more right. If NFL teams are so worried about the “controversy” a gay man will bring maybe they should stop drafting every version of an asshole the world ever created. Suck it, NFL.

– Ryan

Thanks to Timmy for the tip.

Barilla Pasta Doesn’t like When Two Noodles Touch

Gay rights activists in Italy have launched a boycott of the world’s leading pasta maker after its chairman said he would only portray the “classic family” in his advertisements and, if people objected to that, they should feel free to eat a different kind of pasta. ~


“I would not do it but not out of a lack of respect for homosexuals who have the right to do what they want without bothering others … [but] I don’t see things like they do and I think the family that we speak to is a classic family.” ~ Guido Barilla

Clearly this Guido guy is an idiot. Way to singlehandedly keep the stereotype of the Italian homophobe alive buddy. With that said, I really don’t know where this boycott is getting the grapes to go after Barilla. Guido is clearly respectfully declining to portray anything but the “classic family” in his ads. He isn’t going around gay-bashing like other companies…..cough cough…..Chick-fil-A….

Secondly, when the hell have you ever seen a Barilla ad? I think Barilla pasta is just one of those things you know is in the super market when you go shopping. Maybe,  Guido, you just cut advertising all together. It would save you time, money, and the need to explain, respectfully of course, that you are a homophobic company.

Hey Guido, it’s your call. I would just keep my mouth shut, even bringing it up can’t help your company. However, I do respect your opinion on the boycott. Total CEO move.

 “Well, if they like our pasta and our message they will eat it; if they don’t like it and they don’t like what we say they will … eat another.” ~Guido Barilla

The only thing about that statement, Guido, is that you now have a nationally trending topic on Twitter of #BoycottBarilla. That can’t be good for business.


PS- Whatever happens this is sure to cost Barilla a pretty penne………..

Scotland has a National Animal and it’s a Unicorn

While I lay in my bed last night a strange thought ran across my mind. What is the national animal of Scotland? My inner professional investigator came to life and I went to the most credible source out there, Wikipedia. I hit search and what comes up? Unicorn! Unicorn!? Unicorn? Is Scotland so desperate for attention that it is going to try and steal Florida’s title of craziest place on Earth? It definitely seems like it’s working.



Welcome To The Busey Zone

Watching Gary Busey give people life advice is the reason dinosaurs put me on this Earth. I have to imagine when Al Gore invented the internet, he had this in mind. Who better to give life advice to lost souls then the craziest person in the entire universe. I feel like the people writing into “The Busey Zone” are skipping some integral steps in the self help process. Who did these people go to before Busey? Charles Manson? A snake? I mean how do you wake up one day with a legitimate real life quandry and think to yourself: “you know who can help me? Gary fucking Busey.” I have to admit I had some high expectations for this vlog, and per usual Gary Busey exceeds them and blows my mind in the process. I also feel like he believes this is some type of competition. When the woman reading the first question interrupts him, he tells her not to interrupt his answer or she’ll be elminated. That’ll teach her to question Gary Busey. He loves puppies, cats and fish, and he’s changing lives. God help us all.

– Ryan

P.S. Gary Busey’s spinning head will forever haunt my dreams.

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