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These Are The Games You’ve Been Waiting For

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It’s that wonderful time of year. Football is back on my TV, the leaves are falling, pumpkin spiced donuts are falling…into my mouth, the holidays are coming and so are all the new video games! While there are a shot-ton (scientific measurement) of games for your grubby little paws to choose from, here are 3 of the titles I am most looking forward too. They will cover PS4, Xbox One and the Nintendo 3DS.

Fallout 4

When I first discovered the Fallout series in college, while playing Fallout 3 on my PS3, I was immediately hooked. I was never a huge fan of RPGs and leaned more towards large roaming adventure games. This game completely changed my mind. Since that fateful day back in 2008 I have sunk more hours into that game than almost any other game i’ve ever played (nothing will come close to the hours I played Golden Eye with my brother). Fallout 4 seems like the game that I and ever other Fallout fan has been waiting for. Oh, and did I mention you can get a physical Pip-Boy in the limited edition version? Yeah, mines been pre-ordered for months.

The Legend of Zelda: Tri Force Heroes

The guys and girls over at Nintendo really know how to reinvent a series. After debuting one the the best Zelda games in the franchise, A Link Between Worlds, in 2013 they took aim at another hand-held installment that is ready to wow 3DS owners. Tri Force Heroes takes Link and multiplies him by 3 for a co-op experience unlike anything you’ve ever played on a hand-held game. This will have to hold me over until the next console Zelda game. Which, fingers crossed, will be sometime in 2016.

Star Wars Battlefront

The most anticipated movie of the year gets a video game to match. Picture George Lucas and Battlefield 4 having a sweet, passionate love and then out pops their spawn. Got that horrifying image in your head? Good, because that’s what it’s going to be like. This game is going to be awesome, you know how I know? BECAUSE IT CAN’T BE ANYTHING LESS.

What games are you looking forward to?

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This Mario Maker Level Took 11,000 Tries to Complete

Let me start by saying I cannot wait to get my hands on a copy of Mario Maker. That game is so classic Nintendo it hurts. This is the type of stuff Nintendo does so well year in and year out.

Now let me move onto this devil of a level (hey now rhyming). I’m pretty sure if you turn the clocks back to my 5th birthday, where I received my first video game system, the SNES, and you put this level in front of me I probably would have slammed my head through the TV on try 3. I am not usually super competitive when it comes to video games. I like playing them, but for me it’s just about having fun….except for Mario games. Mario games bring the absolute worst out of me and they frustrate me to my core, even today! I still want to slam my head through a wall when playing the third world in Super Mario 3. But I digress.  I wouldn’t even know what to do at the first landing of this level. I got to give props where props are due.

-Matt

In Honor of Satori Iwata Here are the 15 Best N64 Games

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I’m not going to front like I know what Iwata’s been up to these last few years, or anytime before that. All I know is that he brought my brother and I some of the greatest happiness we have ever known in the form of a tiny pixelated plumber named Mario. I also won’t act like I knew the guy, but after seeing something very disturbing on the internet yesterday I have a feeling he might be rolling over in his grave.

Charlie Wilco, from Barstool sports, put up one of the most egregious lists of all time. He tried putting together a list of the 12 best N64 games. Don’t get me wrong, his heart was in the right place and he almost had a semi-deent list, but like in Mecha Marathon, almost doesn’t count.

Here is the list in order from 15th best to the best (Because you’re a coward if you make a “best of” list and don’t give value to the positions.):

15: Banjo-Kazooie

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Taking the unsung hero spot on our list, Banjo-Kazooie is easily one of the best 3D platformers on the N64. Which is saying a lot because 3D platformers is where the N64 setup shop. You don’t know true frustration until you’ve played this game.

14: Mario 64

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Just like the The SNES, and the NES before it, this wouldn’t be a Nintendo console without a Mario game and The N64 brought out the big guns on this one. I specifically remember pissing myself over how different this game was compared to every other game I have ever played. No matter what list you make of N64 games, this has to be on it somewhere.

13: Diddy Kong Racing

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Mario Kart this and Mario Kart that…and rightfully so, it’s an awesome game (but we will get to that later). Diddy Kong Racing on the other hand, never gets the respect it deserves. You can race as a hovercraft and an airplane for fuck’s sake! How could you not be into that type of racing game! Not to mention it was almost like an adventure game and a racing game boned and had a sick twisted love child; what I mean is, you get the best of both worlds.

12: NFL Blitz

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Da Bomb…..every. fucking. time.

11: StarFox

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Sometimes games come along and become instant classics, but not entirely because of their gameplay. Star Fox is a great game, don’t get me wrong, but it makes this list for one reason and one reason only, the rumble pack. The advent of the rumble pack change gaming for a lifetime and it all started with a Fox who flies a spaceship……what the fuck was Iwata on while working at Nintendo.

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Jim Harbaugh and His Baseball Glove Have Been Going On An MLB Stadium Tour

 

I can see why people dislike Jim Harbaugh, but I absolutely love the guy. HIs baseball glove tour just reinforces that love. The best picture has to be from the San Francisco Giants, where he’s clearly sitting behind home plate, behind the protective netting, making it impossible for him to catch a foul ball. Doesn’t matter. When Jim Harbaugh goes to a baseball game he brings his mitt. He could be sitting behind protective netting or in the first row of the bleachers, if he’s in the house, so is his glove. There’s also not a doubt in my mind that nothing is stopping Jim Harbaugh from getting a foul ball. If the ball is hit in his section all he sees are seams: women, children, the elderly; just another hurdle to overcome. I don’t care if the 49ers ever win another game, I just want the Jim Harbaugh baseball glove tour to continue forever.

– Ryan

 

 

The Best New Games for PS4 That Debuted at E3

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No Man’s Sky

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Monster Blog Wednesday – New Olympic Events

olympic ringsAll this Olympic stuff on the TV has got The Average Nobodies thinking (and that can be dangerous). We were thinking why watch the same events over and over and over again? We want some variety with our world-wide winter sporting events. So here it goes, The Average Nobodies are creating two all-new Winter Olympics events we hope get picked up by the time the next time these games roll around.

Freestyle Snow Angels

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Easy addition to the winter Olympics. What was the first thing I did when I saw fresh pow pow as a kid? Fall-ass first into it and start making snow angels like a madman of course. No snow day was complete until I made 1,000,000 Matt angels in my front lawn. Just pure ecstasy.

Now fast forward 20 years and i’m ready to take my talents to the big league. Snow angels will be scored on 3 facets: Entry, form, and exit.

Entry is exactly how it sounds; How gracefully can you get into snow angel position? Flopping Bron Bron style isn’t going to cut it. Put some showmanship in your routine. Form is how you flap them arms and legs. Judges are looking for 3 things: RHYTHM, RHYTHM, RHYTHM. Don’t just flap wildly. That’s not going to get you the gold. Lastly, judges will be judging you on your exit. How carefully can you get up so that you don’t screw up your masterpiece. This was always is hardest feat to complete and scoring will be weighted as such. Make the perfect snow angel and even YOU could be an Olympic hero.

Just don’t count on the gold; i’m taking that home at every Olympics until I die. Nobody makes a snow angel like Big Fudge.

-Matt

Dodge Beer

I’ve been lobbying for this to become an Olympic event for years. It’s the greatest drinking game in history, and it deserves to take it’s rightful spot in the Olympic games. Beer drinkers have been ignored for centuries when it comes to Olympic events. Just because we enjoy a few beers here and there doesn’t mean we should be shunned from glory. Dodge beer is a simple game. 4 citizens from every country form a team. The game is played 4 via 4, with 4 beer cans each (8 total), a ping pong ball and a picnic table. The best beer drinkers win. Simple as that for your simple ass. Instead of gold, silver and bronze medals, winning countries get free beer for specific time periods.

Bronze – 1 year

Silver – 5 years

Gold – 4 lyfe

– Ryan

Josh Hutcherson Got the Mockingjay Salute From Wildcat Fans Last Night

Josh Hutcherson, native of Kentucky, showed up for the Wildcats game last night.Footage of his appearance was uploaded to YouTube

Apparently students of UK aren’t only rabid basketball fans, but Hunger Games fans as well.

AND THIS WAS THE CROWD'S REACTION TO HIM.

Mockingjay salute for Peeta! Stay classy, Kentucky Wildcats.

H/T BuzzFeed

The Hunger Games are Reinventing the Sequel Genre

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Sequels are overplayed in Hollywood. There’s no doubt about it. The lack of original screenplays are evident when Iron Man has 3 movies, Dumb and Dumber and Anchorman have sequels and every movie Sylvester Stallone is in has a universe that covers 5 decades. In small doses, most of these movies are enjoyable, and for the most part, are profitable at the box office. But there’s only so many times we can watch Robert Downey Jr. fly around in a space suit, or Tom Cruise narrowly escape after he falls out of a building. Repetition has taken the place of creativity. Instead of taking a chance on new ideas and characters, Hollywood has kept their eggs in the sequel basket. While most of these sequels aren’t living up to expectations, the Hunger Games are blowing them away.

Maybe it’s because the movies are based on easy to read, action packed books (I wouldn’t know. I can’t read). Maybe it’s because the storyline is different from any other present day blockbuster. Maybe it’s because I’m in love with Jennifer Lawrence and I’m 97% sure we’re soup snakes. Whatever IT is, the Hunger Games is doing IT right. They have a perfect blend of young (JLaw, Hutcherson and Hemsworth) and veteran (Donald Sutherland, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Stanley Tucci) actors. The script is based off the books, who’s blend of story/action translates well to the big screen. The action in the movie isn’t action for the sake of action, it’s necessary action to forward the storylines. What was lacking in the first movie (too much focus on the capital and districts once the games had started) was changed in Catching Fire, and it created a smooth, easy to watch film. The buildup to the actual hunger games was given enough time to explain the plot while developing the characters the director wanted you to care about. The action, which has always been the strong point of the movies, was great. They were able to introduce a new hero (Finnick) while still keeping the spotlight on the relationship between Katniss and Peeta. Start to finish, Catching Fire was one of the best sequels in recent memory. For the first time in a long time, when it comes to movie franchises, people should be genuinely excited for what’s to come.

– Ryan

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