Blog Archives

It’s Friday, Let’s Dance

 

-Sean Lite-

This Police Officer Just Reinvented the Pepper Spray Protestors Game Forever

I’ve never seen such fury, such tenacity, such determination. He’s treating these protestors like they’re Nazi Zombies just plowing through them with no regard for human life! Hard as a Mother Fucker, no prisoners, no mercy. About to fall? Nope, caches his balance and continues ruining these people’s day without missing a beat. If i had half this determination I would be a billionaire by now.

-Sean Lite-

This Guy is Fucking Awesome at Catching Lama Spit in His Eye

I didn’t know this was a thing, but this guy must be there best there is!

-Sean Lite-

Is Michael J Fox my Favorite Person Walking God’s Green Earth?

I’d say the answer in unequivocally yes, but I’m not sure what he does is considered walking anymore…poor taste, I’ll pay for that some day soon don’t worry. But seriously, everytime I see this guy in the news I tremble with excitement. Damnit…Alright that one was unintentional.

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So recently, Mr. Fox was given a cupcake arrangement the shape of the Stanley cup. And each cupcake has the logo of a different NHL playoff team. Michael has been tweeting pictures of himself eating the cupcakes of each team as that team get eliminated. Of course he’s accompanying them with a short one liner. Here’s the link for the bleacher report article on it.

As for this article I want to really talk about how great Mr. Fox is. Diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in the middle of a great career, he has really stayed relevant throughout the years. Of course it’s not about staying noticed, or staying in the public eye. The inspiration comes from his refusal to let his affliction define him, instead he has redefined what it means to live with Parkinson’s today. His charitable work to raise money for Parkinson’s research is unparalleled, but for me the amazing thing is his ability to laugh at himself. Mr. Fox shows us it’s okay to laugh at life’s lowest moments because it means you haven’t lost. If you keep fighting you can never lose.

Nothing shows Michael J. Fox’s spirit more than these hilarious clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Here and here.

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Oh and his short feud with Taylor Swift when he said he would never let his son date her was such a clairvoyant power move. He knew Swift was no good before the rest of us. Thanks for the heads up, Mike!

-Sean Lite-

An Ode to The Office

March 24th, 2005. That’s the day American audiences were introduced to The Office. That’s the day we were introduced to Jim and Pam, Dwight and Angela, and of course, Michael Scott. The show finished its 9th and final season, and its 200th and final episode aired last Thursday (more on that later). The beautiful thing about TV shows, in my opinion, are their ability to create fictional characters and a universe that you grow to care about. As I was watching the finale last Thursday, I found myself rooting for Dwight and Angela, Jim and Pam, Oscar, Daryl and the rest of the Dunder Mifflin gang. Over the past nine years, we put our lives on hold, and for a half hour a week, enjoyed Pennsylvania’s favorite paper company. The writing and directing have always been a strong part of The Office, but its beating heart has always been its cast of characters and the relationships they weave with each other. Each character was so easy to relate to, in part because they were caricatures of people we’ve encountered in our own lives. How could they not be? The day to day monotony of office life breeds these type of people. The fairytale romance of Jim and Pam was just as common as the immature, borderline psychotic relationship between Ryan and Kelly. Everyone knows an overachiever, a sweet old lady, a crazy old man, a cynic, a dreamer and a cute girl. The Office somehow took these everyday characters and made you empathize with them. How? Back in 2011, creator Ricky Gervais wrote an article discussing both versions of The Office, and how he created some of his memorable characters. Gervais concludes the article with, “Who needs winners? They’re not in the slightest bit funny or interesting. Give me a loser any day.” He was right.

The characters on the show were, for lack of a better word, losers. The beat farmer who lived with his cousin, the accountant with 10 cats, the heavy set, impossibly charming buffoon. Even the “cool” characters in the office, Jim and Pam, were a salesman and a secretary for a small town paper company. Each character had a life of its own, and they all fit perfectly into the Scranton universe. No one was a better fit for this universe than Michael Scott.

Michael Scott was a microcosm of the show. He epitomized every value that the show explored. He was an oddity who desperately wanted to be accepted by the outside world, a dreamer who never quite achieved his dreams. At his core, he wanted to be loved, and that enormous need for affection could only come from one place: The Office. For Michael, The Office was the cool kids table at lunch. The Office was being picked first in gym class. It wasn’t a building. It was a home. He didn’t have employees. He had a family. Although Michael occasionally did some boneheaded things, we always gave him the benefit of the doubt, because we knew how much he cared. Michael’s relationships, both personal and professional, fueled the show. He made his long awaited return during the very sentimental series finale, trekking from Colorado to Scranton to be Dwight’s bestest mench. Later in the episode, Pam reveals that Michael has so many pictures of his children that he needed to get two phones. Michael didn’t mind. He was just happy to finally have a family plan. Michael was the biggest loser of all, but he made you laugh, he made you cringe, and most of all, he made you watch. The final two seasons of the show were disappointing, but I’ll always remember The Office for its seven seasons of memorable characters and goofy story lines. Whether it was Jim and Pam’s wedding, or Michael’s burnt foot, The Office always seemed to deliver. It taught us the power of relationships, and in the end, that the losers might be the biggest winners of them all. Thanks for satisfying us for nine years. That’s what she said.

– Ryan

Nothing Like A Casual Craigslist Search

“Looking for someone to paint me as a centaur (west warwick) – I want someone to paint me as a centaur. Bottom half horse top half me. Please be able to actually paint. I will need to see other work you have done. Shoot me and email and give me a price. maybe we can meet in a park one day and i’ll pack a lunch. But seriously, this is legit.”

I knew I should have taken art classes when I was a kid! This is a post, directly from Craigslist, that I received from a inside source.  First, let me first point out, power move by wanting to be painted as a centaur.  No little bitch real animals like a tiger or lion, NO, a creature straight from fucking myth!  Personally I would have gone the griffin route, but I applaud your tenacity.  As epic as this sounds, and it seems like you have all your bases covered, let me just say if you have to explain what a centaur is to your painter, then they are not ready to paint you.  Be a little more selective, pal.  You run a convincing argument all the way up until the last few lines. “maybe we can meet in a park one day and i’ll pack a lunch”. Really? A guy who desires a mural of himself painted as a centaur wants to meet in a park? I was expecting him to either invite me to his yacht or his trailer home, all i’m saying is that it could go either way.  Pack a lunch? Is this turning into a picnic? Because if so, I am even angrier that I cannot paint.  There is nothing like a good picnic, the sites, the sounds, feeding each other fresh fruits…….I digress.  Not even the great Bob Ross (RIP) could get me prepared for this job.  But at least we know that this offer is “Legit”.
ImageDon’t you give up, someday you will find your artist, and they will paint you wearing this, and only this.
-Mattyv
P.S. Just so it’s clear, Bill Paxton discovered the Titanic.