The guys of Lonely Island are back at it! The creators of such jams as ‘I’m on a Boat’ and “I Just Had Sex’, have a new song and video out. Enjoy!
-MattyV
P.S. ‘The Wack Album‘ out June 11th
Blog Archives
“Dumb and Dumber To” Dropped
And we wonder why the world is going to shit. One of the funniest and (gasp) most original comedies of all-time, Dumb and Dumber, still can’t find a financial suitor for it’s long awaited sequel, as Warner Bros. is the latest studio to drop out. Before anyone points out that they already made a sequel to Dumb and Dumber, Dumb and Dumberer was a travesty in every sense of the word. I saw two penguins having sex at the zoo last night that had more talent than the actors in that movie. I suffer through the 34 sequels to Fast & Furious and The Chronicles of Riddick because I know Hollywood will eventually make it up to me. Anchorman 2 is a start, but I want Dumb and Dumber To. I need Dumb and Dumber To. If I don’t get Lloyd Christmas back in my life, pet’s heads are going to start falling off. That’s a promise.
– Ryan
Hockey Players Just Got Knocked Off The ‘Toughest Athlete’ Throne
The English Shin-Kicking championships have been stealing the hearts and captivating the dreams of Englanders for 401 years.
This video begs the question. Who’s tougher? Hockey players or shin-kickers? I think I have to go with shin-kickers, I mean straw for padding? That just isn’t enough to prevent pain, and to do this round after round? Anyone can withstand a punch to the face or a skate blade to the neck it takes true mettle to endure shin kicks. Respect.
-Sean Lite-
P.S. This should be an olympic sport, the summer olympics needs something to compete with curling in the winter olympics. (can’t wait)
Brad Pitt Got His Start as Ricky the Masturbator
Just kidding but that’d be even more hilarious.
-Sean Lite-
P.S. Him just staring at the ceiling is the stuff of nightmares.
Could You Repeat That?
I don’t think the Rhode Island School For the Deaf realizes that their students can see. No need for size 400 font in caps lock.
-MattyV
Photo Cred: Peter Hanney
Just What The Doctor Ordered
Burger King has finally come up with a solution to that most vexing question that has plagued mankind for decades: “In a world of multitasking, how can you use your hands to do daily activities and eat a Whopper at the same time?”
Enter the hands-free Whopper holder, a plastic device that hangs from the neck and places your Whopper inches from your mouth. All extraneous movement has been removed from the burger-eating process, including the act of bending your arms to bring the sandwich closer to your mouth.
With both hands released from the restrictive and calorie-wasting act of food eating, Whopper lovers are free to perform all of their favorite or pressing tasks while enjoying the flame-broiled goodness of Burger King’s signature sandwich. -USA Today
Just when I thought I was going to have an extra arm sewed onto my neck, Burger King reads my mind! Who has time to eat FAST FOOD normally? I sure as hell don’t. With changing radio stations, texting and driving, not wearing my seatbelt, and all the other tomfoolery that occurs in my car I just can’t seem to find a open time, or hand, to enjoy my Whopper. In comes the ‘Hands-free Whopper holder’, basically a plastic feedbag that makes you looks like the fat pig-horse-man you really are. If I start seeing these popping up I will move to the north pole.
-MattyV
P.S. Create a hands-free taco device and I might sing another tune.
Why You Gotta Rear-End Fat Jesus and Disrupt His Swag?
If that isn’t the best mixture of “come at me bro” and “the fuck?” I don’t know what is.
-Sean Lite-
Grab Your Wiener? Use This Cleaner!
Oh boy, do I know someone who could use this. But don’t we all? That one friend who spends 99.9% of the day with a hand(s) down their pants? If you don’t know what i’m talking about, take a look down, because you’re that friend.
-MattyV
Photo Cred: Peter Hanney
