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Sweet Baby Jesus: Freddie Mercury is Back (He’s Still Dead Though)

Freddie Queen guitarist Brian May stopped by BBC Radio ostensibly to discuss Diableries: Stereoscopic Adventures in Hell, his new book on 19th century French stereoscopic cards. But after detailing his lifelong love of the cards and their odd visions of hell, May revealed plans for a new Queen album featuring unreleased Freddie Mercury vocals from the Eighties. Asked what his favorite Queen song ever recorded was, May said the answer changes every time, but “my favorite at the moment is ‘Made in Heaven,’ which was never a single but it’s the title track off the [1995] album we made after Freddie was gone with all the pieces that were left. “I’ve just been doing something very similar because we found a few more tracks with Freddie singing and all of us playing and they’re quite beautiful. People will be hearing this work toward the end of the year.”

Freddie Haters Gonna Hate

I love Freddie Mercury. Not in the way that he would love me, but he was the best. If you can look me in the eyes and tell me a better vocalist than Freddie Mercury I’d probably rip your eyes out. On a serious note, the guy could write, sing and perform like nobody else, and the best part was he didn’t give a shit what anybody thought of him. He’d dress in drag for Queen’s music videos, sport a porn ‘stache and wear THE tightest clothes on stage. Then he’d belt out “Bohemian Rhapsody” or “Somebody to Love” or “Fat Bottomed Girls” and you’d sit there and enjoy the shooting star that was singing for you. I can’t wait for this to come out. Long live The King.

– Ryan

I Just Found the Songbird of the Next Generation

Look I don’t know much. I floated through school, and I’d much rather drink a beer than read a book. With that said, I do recognize talent. This baby might not be able to speak or walk, but it will become the next big thing. That’s what happens when you watch footage of the greatest performer/ man with the best mustache ever. If there’s one person who’s life path I’d wish to follow it’s Freddie. Just a flawless, mistake free life in the fast lane. I never thought I’d be jealous of a baby, but I guess that’s what YouTube is for: to make me jealous of a person who literally shits their pants all day.

– Ryan

William Freddie McCullough Has The Best Obituary Of All-Time

(Source) “William Freddie McCullough – BLOOMINGDALE – The man. The myth. The legend. Men wanted to be him and women wanted to be with him. William Freddie McCullough died on September 11, 2013. Freddie loved deep fried Southern food smothered in Cane Syrup, fishing at Santee Cooper Lake, Little Debbie Cakes, Two and a Half Men, beautiful women, Reeses Cups and Jim Beam. Not necessarily in that order. He hated vegetables and hypocrites. Not necessarily in that order. He was a master craftsman who single -handedly built his beautiful house from the ground up. Freddie was also great at growing fruit trees, grilling chicken and ribs, popping wheelies on his Harley at 50 mph, making everyone feel appreciated and hitting Coke bottles at thirty yards with his 45. When it came to floor covering, Freddie was one of the best in the business. And he loved doing it. Freddie loved to tell stories. And you could be sure 50% of every story was true. You just never knew which 50%. Marshall Matt Dillon, Ben Cartwright and Charlie Harper were his TV heroes. And he was the hero for his six children: Mark, Shain, Clint, Brandice, Ashley and Thomas. Freddie adored the ladies. And they adored him. There isn’t enough space here to list all of the women from Freddie’s past. There isn’t enough space in the Bloomingdale phone book. A few of the more colorful ones were Momma Margie, Crazy Pam, Big Tittie Wanda, Spacy Stacy and Sweet Melissa (he explained that nickname had nothing to do with her attitude). He attracted more women than a shoe sale at Macy’s. He got married when he was 18, but it didn’t last. Freddie was no quitter, however, so he gave it a shot two more times. It didn’t work out with any of the wives, but he managed to stay friends with them and their parents. In between his many adventures, Freddie appeared in several films including The Ordeal of Dr. Mudd, A Time for Miracles, The Conspirator, Double Wide Blues and Pretty Fishes. When Freddie took off for that pool party in the sky, he left behind his sons Mark McCullough, Shain McCullough and his wife Amy, Clint McCullough and his wife Desiree, and Thomas McCullough and his wife Candice; and his daughters Brandice Chambers and her husband Michael, Ashley Cooler and her husband Justin; his brothers Jimmie and Eddie McCullough; and his girlfriend Lisa Hopkins; and seven delightful grandkids. Freddie was killed when he rushed into a burning orphanage to save a group of adorable children. Or maybe not. We all know how he liked to tell stories. “

He adored the ladies: William 'Freddie' McCullough (pictured). His obituary claims the man from Georgia loved women, but hated veggies

The Savannah Morning News sure knows how to write an obituary. Going solely on this obituary, it seems William Freddie McCullough had the greatest life of all-time. Fishing, eating Reeses Cups and drinking Jim Beam. And don’t forget the beautiful women. Crazy Pam. Big Titty Wanda. Sweet Melissa. What a life. Chest hair breathing free. Perfectly groomed mustache. Some kids want to be athletes when they grow up. Some want to be astronauts or actors. If your not aspiring to be William Freddie McCullough you’re living life the wrong way. All I know is my sole goal in life is to find a Big Tittied Wanda of my own. As far as William goes,  I’m sure he’s growing fruit trees and grilling chicken and ribs in heaven. And may God help him if he sees any vegetables or hypocrites.

– Ryan

Superbowl Halftime Show..Who Ya Got?

It was announced this weekend that Bruno Mars will perform at halftime of this years Superbowl. I think it goes without saying that this is a great pick. Mr. Mars is talented, handsome, and his voice literally makes us want to cry. He also happened to pass the most important hurdle of all: the SNL hosting test.

While we love the choice, it got us thinking: who would be our ideal performer for a Superbowl halftime show? We drank some beers, exchanged some ideas, and came up with our favorite

Freddie Mercury


The ONLY thing that stops Freddie Mercury and the rest of Queen from headlining every major event in America is the fact the Freddie died in 1991. Voice like an angel? Check. Dance moves that could make you tremble? Check. The body of a god and mustache to match? Check and check. Here is how this halftime show would go. Lights go out. 10 seconds go by and a single beam of light is pointed to the stage. Highlighted in it is Freddy Mercury sitting at a piano. Bohemian Rhapsody starts the performance with Freddie killing it at piano. The show then moves into ‘I want to Break Free’ and wraps with ‘Somebody to Love’. A simple 3 song set that will have the audience begging for more.


George Michael

George Michael Picture

In my eyes, George Michael is the singer of our generation. Faith. Freedom. Father Figure. It seems as if every classic song that starts with an F has been sung by Mr. Michael. Did he possibly blow an undercover cop in a public restroom? Yes. But as a democratic nation I’d hope we could look past this act and let his flex those golden pipes. Back to the halftime show. The stage is empty, but you hear George’s voice in the background softly singing the word “faith”. It gets louder and louder until he finally hits the stage, accompanied by a slew of instruments. Next up is freedom, followed by closing the performance with Careless Whisper. Game. George Michael. Match.

– Ryan

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