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Congrats To Providence RI’s Own ‘Los Andes’ On Making Yelp’s “100 Places To Eat In The US For 2016” List!

YUM – 50. Beach Break Cafe, Oceanside, CA

51. Johnny Pacific, Winnetka, CA

52. Outlaws Cafe, Van Nuys, CA *Yelp Eat24 Order/Delivery

53. Lou’s Cafe, San Francisco, CA

54. Los Andes Restaurant, Providence, RI

55. Arizmendi Bakery, San Francisco, CA

56. Lahaina Grill, Lahaina, HI

57. The French Laundry, Yountville, CA

58. Gus’s World Famous Hot & Spicy Chicken, Memphis, TN

59. Uchi, Austin, TX

60. Rockfire Grill, Mission Viejo, CA *Yelp Eat24 Order/Delivery 🔥

You can click on the link for the full list, but how about a Rhode Island favorite making Yelp’s list of places to eat in 2016? Los Andes is far and away the best restaurant in our area, and as a local Rhode Islander it’s nice to see them get recognized. I didn’t think I’d wake up today and say I’ve eaten at the 54th best restaurant in the country, but that’s how what happens when you live life in the fast lane.

-Ryan

 

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004 Super Bowl and Royal Rumble Fallout

The Boyz II Men Pretzel Love Songs Marketing Campaign for Wendy’s Is Genius

Just when I thought I couldn’t love Wendy’s any more, they pull Boyz II Men out of retirement or a nursing home and have them read actual tweets about Wendy’s new pretzel bun. Do I love the pretzel bun? Yes. Do I love Boyz II Men? Also yes. Does listening to Boyz II Men read tweets about people’s lust for pretzels make me want a Wendy’s pretzel bun sandwich? Kind of. Job well done, Wendy’s. I’ll always support you:

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Let’s see what the Iron Sheik thinks about the pretzel love songs:

Alrighty then.

– Ryan

Matt’s Lunch Diaries – Oatmeal Making a Vicious Comeback

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Just when I thought I couldn’t stomach another bowl of oatmeal, I have it for lunch and I immediately get pulled back in. Let me bring you back to a few months ago: Oatmeal was on the menu every morning for my breakfast. I had so much oatmeal in a 2 month span that I probably should have died from it. Long story short, I grew tired of it’s taste, it’s texture, and it’s aroma. I couldn’t take it anymore, so oatmeal got the boot…until today. Listen, I don’t want to be made into a liar, the oatmeal was “ok”, at best, for today’s lunch, but when your hungry it doesn’t really matter. This maple brown sugar oatmeal might as well have been a filet today, because when push comes to stomach it doesn’t really matter….I am a sad human being for writing this much about oatmeal.

 

Just when I thought I was out…..

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-Matt

KFC’s Newest Chicken Creation is Not Going Over Well in England

Paper towel chickenA mother in Newcastle, England was horrified when her stepson bit into a deep-fried blue paper towel, the Mirror reported last week.

Krystal Henderson, 29, and 7-year-old Oliver Hallam purchased takeout from a KFC branch in Killingsworth, according to the Express. At home, Oliver took a bite out of what he assumed was chicken, but recoiled seconds later.

“He pulled it out of his mouth and when he did, it pulled away the batter – you could see the blue roll inside,” Henderson said, according to the Daily Mail.

Henderson said that realizing Oliver had bitten into a paper towel was worse than if it had just been bad chicken.

“If it was bad chicken they might have just had a bad batch or something,” she said. “But the blue roll could have been used for anything – it could have bleach or disinfectant on it … Had someone wiped their hands on it, had it been used to wipe the floor?”

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Nothing like a fried piece of paper towel to ruin your entire life. How does this even happen? I feel like you really have to go out of your way to fry a paper piece towel instead of a piece of chicken. They are two very different things. This might’ve happened in England but now it’s making me look at KFC completely different. A KFC in my hometown just closed down after being there for a long time. At first I thought it just a drop in sales, but now that this story leaked, I have a funny feeling it had something to do with paper towel chicken. Have we ruled out a global sabotage effort from Taco Bell? Taco Bell spies around the world infiltrating KFC and stuffing their famous fried chicken with used paper towel? Let’s just say it if comes out that that’s happening you should remember where you heard it first. And for the time being, maybe everyone should stick to the cornbread and potato wedges at KFC.

– Ryan

Monster Blog Wednesday – The Average Nobodies Create Restaurants

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Who doesn’t love a nice night out on the town at a fancy (Chilis) restaurant? I’m talking about going out with some friends and enjoying good food, ice ice ice ice cold drinks, and maybe a little entertainment. That’s the American dream in a half shell (see what I did there?). So what is this week’s Monster Blog? It’s simple: The Average Nobodies come up with restaurants. The object is to channel our favorite things about our favorite restaurants into one mega-eatery that will be the crowning achievement off all the “testing” we have done over the years. Ladies and gentlemen, Bobby Flay ain’t got SHIT on us.

Matt’s Taco Emporium

At “MTE” we have one motto: “If you like tacos then you better come here or else you are a dumb idiot who actually does’t like tacos and should probably just stay home anyway.” I know what you are thinking, kind of a long motto, well if you think that then my tacos aren’t for you. At MTE we use only the most mediocre ingredients we can find, because since when have you gone to a really good taco place that used grade A meat and fresh veggies? Exactly. Our minimalistic menu includes two items, Tacos and Beer, which cost $2 each. Substitutions will not be allowed and our beer selection is minimal, to say the least, but what we lack in personal touch we make up for in bold tastes and a live mariachi band that plays every minute that we are open. Don’t sleep on Matt’s Taco Emporium, because we will find you.

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-Matt

Ryan’s Soup Shack

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it one thousand times: restaurants need more soup. I go to a nice, fancy pub and what are my soup options? Chicken soup. That’s it. Where’s my broccoli cheddar? Where’s my tomato bisque? Where is my motherfucking clam chowder? At Ryan’s Soup Shack, we’ll have all that and more. If you’re a restaurant in Rhode Island and you’re not taking advantage of all the fresh seafood at your fingertips then you’re a moron. At Ryan’s Soup Shack™, we have a portion of the menu dedicated to marine life, because after all, we are the Ocean State. Red and White clam chowder, lobster bisque, crab soup, shrimp gumbo; always fresh, always delicious. We’ll also have your mama’s favorite soups, such as chicken noodle, French onion, Italian wedding soup, minestrone, lentils, and beef stew. Feeling oriental? We’ll have Vietnamese Pho, Miso soup and anything else that tickles your soup bone. I know what you’re thinking and the answer is yes, we will be using top notch advertising:

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So come on down to Ryan’s Soup Shack if you want good soup, and if you want anything else, you can go to hell.

– Ryan

 

Taste of The Bay – Photo Recap

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Last night the Average Nobodies were out in full effect. For those of you that don’t live in the Providence area, or don’t know of this event, last night was Save The Bay’s 3rd Annual “Taste of The Bay” beer, wine, and food tasting. The event was a huge success! For those of you who didn’t attend there is always next year. Not convinced? Check out these photos!

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I Am NOT On Board With the New Ronald McDonald Look

Source Ronald McDonald’s not clowning around with his new look.

The fast-food mascot has swapped his mustard yellow jumpsuit for a stylish red blazer and ketchup-colored bow tie. He also rocks an updated red-and-white rugby shirt, slimmer yellow pants and a matching vest.

Ronald appears to have tamed his wild red hair, but his oversized shoes have stayed the same.

His theatrical new wardrobe was designed by Ann Hould-Ward, a Broadway costume designer who won a Tony for “Beauty and the Beast.”

In addition to his new duds, Ronald will also be getting a new responsibility. The clown will play an active role on social media and will tweet from the McDonald’s account using the hashtag #RonaldMcDonald, the company said Wednesday.

“Selfies …here I come! It’s a big world and now, wherever I go and whatever I do … I’m ready to show how fun can make great things happen,” Ronald said in a McDonald’s press release.

Ronald was first portrayed by TV weatherman Willard Scott. The character made his debut in 1963.

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jbwtf

No no no no no no no no no no. I don’t like McDonald’s food. It’s absolutely my least favorite fast food joint but Ronald McDonald is an American institution. He’s a clown with huge hips who always freaked me out but for some reason convinced kids to eat cheeseburgers for all three meals. I don’t want to see a slim, sharply dressed Ronald McDonald who wants to take selfies. I want to see him for what he really is: an out of shape clown who pounds chicken nuggets like they’re going out of style. I refuse to accept this. Michelle Obama and her get kids skinny campaign has gone too far! You can force me to exercise but you will never make me like this Ronald McDonald imposter. Gattaca! Gattaca! Gattaca!

– Ryan

 

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