Florida – It’s been called “$5 insanity” and been responsible for both superhuman feats of strength and unbelievable bouts of delusion.

“Flakka” or “gravel” is the latest synthetic drug that’s being snorted, smoked or injected by addicts looking for a cheap high and been responsible for a series of bizarre headlines across South Florida.

A Florida man running for his life through the streets of Fort Lauderdale – naked, except for a pair of sneakers – is symbolic of the latest drug craze striking dread in law enforcement.

“Longtime addicts who have tried flakka, they’re terrified of it,” Broward County Sheriff’s Office treatment counselor Don Maines told the Sun-Sentinel. “They can’t think straight, they’re paranoid, they think people are chasing them. One guy thought he was surrounded by German shepherds that were attacking him.”

You know what Florida DIDN’T need? Flakka, gravel, or any other kind of hallucinogenic drug. That’s like giving a murderer keys to a gun closet and being surprised when he murders everyone. It’s a well known fact that people in Florida are bat shit crazy. Combine that bat shit craziness with hallucinogenic drugs and you have possibly the worst disaster ever. People are streaking through neighborhoods. One guy thought he was being chased by a gang of German shepherds which sounds like either the best or worst thing ever. If he was being chased by the dogs then that’d be pretty cool because German shepherds are awesome. If he was being chased by a bunch of Shepard’s that just happened to be German then that would be terrifying. You know how your grandparents always start conversations off with “back in my day” and you roll your eyes? I kind of get what they’re saying now. Back in the day you had cool nicknames for drugs like crack or speed or hash. Flakka is bad enough, but gravel? Gravel isn’t even a slang term. Gravel is an actual thing, and it’s pretty low on the list of things I’d like to ingest, snort or inject into my body. But I guess that’s how things are in Florida. You snort some gravel, get chased by some dogs and/or Shepard’s and you call it a god damn day.

– Ryan