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The Bucs Fired Lovie Smith….Wait, What?

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Not at all the headline I was expecting coming out of the Buc’s camp on a quiet Wednesday night….but I’m fine….this is fine….we’re going to be fine…

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Let’s take a look at Lovie’s first two years as Buccaneers head coach.

First year. Team goes 2-14. Not great, but there was a lot to be excited about. A young stud receiver in Mike Evans (who made Josh McCown and Mike Glennon look like all-stars), bright spots all around the defense and a coach that knows how to get a lot out of his players.

Second year. The Bucs win 6 games and move their lowly 29th ranked offense into the 5th spot. Jameis Winston comes on strong in his first season, breaking every Buccaneer rookie QB record and finishing 3rd all-time for passing yards from a rookie QB (behind Cam Newton and Andrew Luck).The Defense has finally woken up from its long slumber and started to make plays, they moved from 25th to 10th YPG.

But yeah, let’s fire Lovie.

P.S.- If this is true, unclassy as HELL.

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Justin Roberts Released from the WWE – Fly Away Sweet Prince

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What a perfect goodbye from the guy who has been the voice of the WWE for the better part of 10+ years. What a good attitude to have. You will be missed in voice, but not in appearance (Lillian Garcia is taking over….WOOF)

Fly away sweet prince, fly away and be free.

-Matt

And Then There Were Fewer: John Milhiser, Nasam Pedrad & Noel Wells Are Also Leaving SNL

SNLThree more cast members of “Saturday Night Live” will not return to the late-night sketch-comedy show’s 40th season this fall.

The Hollywood Reporter said Tuesday that featured players Noël Wells, 27, and John Milhiser, 32, did not have their contracts renewed.

The news comes a day after another featured player, Brooks Wheelan, 27, tweeted, “Had a blast and loved every second of it. I’m totally honored to be able to make this next joke . . . FIRED FROM NEW YORK IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!”

In December, Fox had announced that cast member Nasim Pedrad, 32, had joined the network’s upcoming sitcom “Mulaney.”

NBC did not comment on the report.

Troy, My Emotions

Well at least I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. Of all the cast members last year, Wheelan, Milhiser and Wells had the least amount of impact/screen time, so it definitely makes sense that they wouldn’t be back this year. Nasim Pedrad is kind of a kick to the balls, especially because she did such a great Kim Kardashian impression, and making fun of Kim Kardashian will never, ever get old. I also loved her recurring characters Heshy and Shallon, so her leaving for “Mulaney” definitely sucks. At least we’ll always have the memories.

– Ryan

Fired From New York, It’s Saturday Night Live: Farewell Brooks Wheelan

The first of what I’m assuming many pegs to fall during SNL’s offseason is Brooks Wheelan. He was the most logical choice to go since he was in very few sketches which really contributed to him not leaving much of an impression on the SNL audience. SNL has always been better with a smaller cast, as it gives the featured players more of a chance to shine, so Brooks and the rest of the roster cuts should be viewed as a positive. Plus, it’s never bad for an aspiring comedian or comedy actor to have a year of SNL under his/her belt. At least he’ll always have his favorite moments:

– Ryan

Oregon Football Coach Fired For Planning Awards Dinner at Hooters

(Source) “An Oregon middle school football coach has  been fired after he planned an end-of-season team party for his  12-to-14-year-old players at Hooters and dogmatically refused to change the  location, insisting ‘it’s not a strip club.’

Coach Randy Burbach, from Corbett Middle  School, organized the awards night at Jantzen Beach Hooters in the Portland  area, but the choice of location quickly sparked outrage in the community. 

The Hooters brand is known for waitresses in  skimpy uniforms, and the Facebook page for the Jantzen Beach restaurant is  plastered with big-breasted, bikini-clad women.”

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I have a problem with this story. Do you automatically become dumber as soon as you become a parent, because it seems like the people of Oregon forgot what year we live in. It’s 2013. If Hooters is near the top of your list of things you don’t want your 12-14 year old son to experience then you need a giant reality check. Watch any show on cable TV after 8 oclock and you’ll see women exposing more skin than a Hooters waitress. Play Grand Theft Auto and beat up some prostitutes for fun. I’d say that’s a tad worse than staring at some boobs while eating chicken wings. Our entire society is inappropriate. Between the morbidity of the news and the freedom of the internet, teenage kids have unlimited opportunities to experience things they probably shouldn’t be experiencing. Staring at a waitresses hooters should be the least our worries. Randy Burbach shouldn’t have been fired; he should be celebrated. These kids deserve to eat chicken wings, drink soda and bask in the glory of the almighty Hooter’s waitresses.

– Ryan

Is it Weird this Makes Me Hungry

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So this kid gets fired from Taco Bell for licking a bunch of hard taco shells.  There is so many things wrong with this picture, but his tongue on those shells isn’t one of them.

  1. Dude, if you’re going on a licking spree in your place of business don’t post that shit to Facebook.  That’s rookie fundamentals right there.
  2. Everyone knows licking isn’t nearly as shocking as hacking up a lung into say…the sour cream.  Work up a good loogie and let that shit fly!
  3. Taco Bell is supposedly having an “investigation” regarding the matter.  Really? It seems like a pretty open and shut case to me, but i’m no investigator. (This kid better have an airtight alibi)
  4. Who really gives a sweet shit?! Everyone knows you get soft tacos when you ride through for fourth meal.

-MattyV

P.S. If that kid happen to be licking Doritos Loco taco shells there would be no place on Earth he could hide from my wrath.  You don’t mess with the loco.

Everyone Poops

Ok so some asshole at a Houston Astros game decided to he was going to get a vendor fired for simply relieving himself in the bathroom. This guy decides he’s going to film this poor employee pooping! Oh and I guess it needs to be mentioned the vendor brought his product into the stall with him, sno cones. Semantics if you ask me but this fan decides he’s going to rat on the guy and get him fired. Well guess what asshole fan, everyone poops; Taro Gomi, the world’s foremost authority in dispensing of fecal matter, wrote a book about it, ever heard of a book?

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(A great read by the way, very enlightening while keeping the humor in the subject.)

Anyways I guess in order to maintain professional, unbias journalism I have to include a picture of the incident.

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Congratulations Astros fan, you’ve help to raise America’s quarterly unemployment rate.

All that being said, I’ll probably never order a sno cone again. Or a fudgesicle for that matter…for obvious reasons.

P.S. Poop humor is still funny.

-Sean Lite-

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