Blog Archives
Super Bowl 50 Is Off To A Rousing Start As The Grounds Crew Painted Both End Zones For The Broncos
Super Bowl 50 grounds crew paints two Broncos end zones… OOPS! https://t.co/CklmQeqIJKpic.twitter.com/QF8IpUIDcQ
— theScore (@theScore) January 29, 2016
Come on grounds crew. You had one job. Ok they have more than one job, for the sake of an argument, they have one job: make sure the end zones are painted with a different team logo. The Broncos aren’t facing Broncos. The Panthers aren’t facing the Panthers. The Broncos are facing the Panthers, thus one end zone should say Broncos and one end zone should say Panthers. Seems pretty simple right? Not for those San Francisco folk. They better not mess anything up when WrestleMania comes to town or else this music will be the last thing they ever hear.
-Ryan
Winning the Rose Bowl Means Nothing in Mike Dantonio’s Eyes
No easy buckets, guys. Just because you won the 100th Rose Bowl it doesn’t mean you can just pour the gatorade on your coach. You’re going to have to wake up pretty damn early in the morning if you want to get the jump on Coach Mike D. There is a reason why the nickname “Slippery Mike D” exists.
-Matt
Jimmy Jimmel, King of the Pranksters
Jimmy Kimmel just got everyone so bad (me included). I love how Kimmel was put on this earth to fuck with people. No one on late night television even comes close to the shenanigans that Jimmy pulls, no one. Can;t wait to see what you’re cooking up next!
Shannon Brown Is Having A Great Off Season
Nothing worse than hyping up a crowd by promising to dunk over three people then falling on your ass and trampling over the volunteers. Even if he pulls this off, is it that impressive? The people are laying down. Your a 6’4 professional basketball player. If you’re not jumping over a flaming table or the world’s tallest man I’m not interested.
– Ryan
Skydiver Owns Ball Player
I can barely catch a pop fly as it is, the last thing I need is skydivers smashing into me while i’m playing right center. This has to be a planned attack, right? A trained skydiver* is supposed to have perfect control over his landing; no way he hits a guy with all that open real-estate in the outfield . This “skydiver” must have beat up the real skydiver, took his clothes and parachute, and did a rogue jump aiming for this defenseless ball player. Some kind of James Bond shit if you ask me. I will never look at the skies the same way again while i’m playing softball.
-MattyV
PS – A Trained skydiver* looks like this:
PSS- I tried finding a picture of Tommy from the Power Rangers Movie with his sky board for this, but Google images let me down…again.
Grab Your Wiener? Use This Cleaner!
Oh boy, do I know someone who could use this. But don’t we all? That one friend who spends 99.9% of the day with a hand(s) down their pants? If you don’t know what i’m talking about, take a look down, because you’re that friend.
-MattyV
Photo Cred: Peter Hanney
Miguel might switch to a career in pro wrestling
Miguel channeling his inner Hulk Hogan
“Miguel’s career in music may be over after this freak accident tonight at the Billboard Awards, but we’re sure he has a future in the WWE.
Here’s two women who bore the brunt of his failed stage dive attempt (or was it failed? What was he trying to do?) and were quickly shuffled away from the scene. The one on the right takes a shoe to the head; the one on the left gets the full guillotine leg drop action to the neck. …meanwhile, finished the song as if nothing had happened.” – Deadspin
First off, let me start by saying, that was the best leg drop I have seen since Hogan fought The Rock at Wrestlemania X8. Just absolute flawless execution and form coming from the R&B sensation.
Now on to why i’m pissed.
This is a classic case of the rich getting richer. Not only does this guy have an amazing singing voice but now he probably has a good chance of appearing on WWE. Come on now! I fake wrestle with my friends all the time and probably have a better repertoire of moves. It doesn’t mean you’re not gonna see me chumming it up with big Vince anytime soon. Miguel, I appreciate the effort, but leave the wrestling to the pros…and to me, drunk on a friday night.
–Matt
P.S. That lady has to have a concussion right?
