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There’s a company that will press your ashes into a vinyl

The question here isn’t will you or won’t you, that’s an argument for another time, the real question is what song would you pick…


The maniacs (I mean that in the most endearing way possible) over at And Vinyly (clever as fuck name) have found a way for us to live on in song, literally. So I ask this, what song would you pick? And before the Vinyl collectors come out of the woodwork and come at my dome with the “Uh Matt, Vinyls hold more than one song”. I know, but to make this decision a lot easier on everyone, let’s just stick with one, okay Ryan Gosling?


My pick is the timeless classic by Sir Elton John, ‘Goodbye Yellow Brick Road’. If you are not familiar, listen and enjoy.

An all-time great song that stretches across every genre of music. Not only is it great, it sends the message i’m looking for. Which is…sure it’s a great song, but its also super sad. People are going to play my dead body at a party and there won’t be a dry eye in the house. Maybe you should have been nicer to me when I was not a vinyl record.



I Can’t Stop Watching This Video Of Elton John Falling Out Of His Chair

It’s the simple things in life that give me the most joy. Case in point: Sir Elton John falling out of his chair at some kind of tennis match. This really could’ve been anyone falling and I would’ve loved it, but the fact that it’s Sir Elton John just makes it so much funnier for some reason. I may never be able to stop watching this video, and I’m completely ok with that. Also, here’s the Jim Ross remix:


– Ryan

Bonus Monster Blog – NFL Draft Walk Up Songs

Roger Goodell is allowing the early round players drafted in tonights NFL draft to pick their own walk up song. Rog, may I call you Rog? Rog, this is a fantastic idea. We here at the Average Nobodies fully support anytime someone can put their personal touch on something. So, in light of this breaking news, The Average Nobodies have provided their walk up songs for when the NFL wakes up and realizes our immense talent. Here they are:

Rest in Peace (The Undertaker’s Theme Song)

Ryan Undertaker

I’m pretty sure 99% of the people on this planet have seen The Undertaker’s entrance at some point in their life, so I’m going to skip over explaining it. Just know that when I say The Undertaker’s entrance song, I mean the entire experience. Before Goodell can get my name out as the next pick, the lights will go out at Radio City Music Hall. The gong will hit, followed by an immense amount of smoke. So much smoke that people actually think something’s on fire. 15-20 minutes later I come out from backstage in full decorative garb to try on my Cleveland Browns jersey. Basically I ruin the entire NFL Draft.


Tiny Dancer, played live by Sir Elton

Matt Draft Music

The most important part about my draft song isn’t that it’s Tiny Dancer by Sir Elton John, but in fact, that it’s Tiny Dancer played LIVE by Sir Elton John. Maybe I throw some interpretive dance in there, maybe I don’t, either way this draft pick will be one for the ages. Whether I go as a punter to the Oakland Raiders (they love skill positions on the west coast) or I get scooped up as a running back for the Bucs (move over Dougie) this song will encapsulate my emotions perfectly.


“Your Song” Taking You Into The Weekend

I dare you to say this isn’t the best song for a Friday before a long weekend.

My gift is my blog, and this one’s for youuuuuu.

-The Average Nobodies

Matt’s [Late] Music Monday

Sorry I have been away from the blog today. I have literally been cleaning up shit at my house all day! 🙂

I promise the wait has been worth it. I give you….young Elton!


PS- I wish I was on the same sun glasses level as Elton…but i’m not even in the same galaxy. HOT FIRE

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