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Robert Wallace is Trying His Hardest to Become The Stupidest Man in America

HoustonRobert Wallace is mad: He gave his heart, soul and Harry Potter DVD collection to a Houston stripper.

Now he can’t even get back the Potter films.

Wallace, a Houston-based software developer, thought he was in a “dating relationship” with exotic dancer Nomi Mims. He loaned her $2,000, a laptop and his precious collection of movies based on the J.K. Rowling books, KRIV-TV reports.

When the alleged relationship ended May 3, Wallace hoped Mims would return the items. She hasn’t so now he says he’s suing her to get the money, laptop and Harry Potter DVDs.

Fat chance, according to Mims. She says she never dated Wallace and that the items were gifts he gave to her.

“I don’t believe in loans because I don’t want to pay anybody back,” she said, according to “I’ve given him gifts too. You know, how do I get my booty and boobs back?”

Although Wallace claims the two were intimate and “building a life together,” Mims says they were never more than friends.

She concedes that it is unfortunate that she may have given him the wrong impression, reports.

Still, she is shocked that Wallace has filed suit.

“I’ve heard of strippers suing customers, but never of customers suing strippers,” Mims said.

Mims admits he’s not surprised what happened and says, as a result, he’s decided not to date strippers.

Come on, Robert. The stripper customer relationship is one of the oldest, most basic relationships in human history. You pay a naked girl money and she dances and does things for you. That’s where it starts, and that’s where it ends. If you want to throw some Harry Potter movies in there, go ahead and have yourself a day. But don’t file a lawsuit trying to get your stuff back. Now you’re just embarrassing yourself. I don’t even know you and I’m embarrassed for you. The only thing worse than thinking you’re in a relationship with a stripper is suing her for your money back once that “relationship” is over. Chalk it up as a loss, move to a different city, buy another copy of Harry Potter and start “dating” another stripper. That’s the only cure.

– Ryan

Blockbuster is the Most Resilient Company in the History of the World

“ENGLEWOOD, Colo., Nov 06, 2013 (BUSINESS WIRE) — –Franchised and licensed stores in the U.S. and abroad to remain open for business

DISH NetworkCorporation today announced that its subsidiary, Blockbuster L.L.C., will end its retail and by mail DVD distribution operations by early-January 2014. The company will close its approximately 300 remaining U.S.-based retail stores, as well as its distribution centers.

“This is not an easy decision, yet consumer demand is clearly moving to digital distribution of video entertainment,” said Joseph P. Clayton, DISH president and chief executive officer. “Despite our closing of the physical distribution elements of the business, we continue to see value in the Blockbuster brand, and we expect to leverage that brand as we continue to expand our digital offerings.”

The Blockbuster By Mail service will end mid-December and will serve existing customers until that time.

Over the past 18 months, Blockbuster has divested itself of assets in the United States, as well international assets, including operations in the United Kingdom and Scandinavia. DISH will continue to support Blockbuster’s domestic and international franchise operations, relationships and agreements.”


I had a cat once. His name was Rascal (affectionately known as Manny by his closest friends), and he was a great cat in his prime. Fun to be around, energetic; he even used to run around outside and catch mice and birds out of thin air. As Rascal got older, he mellowed out. He was still a good cat, but it was clear his golden cat years were behind him. As he got into his mid to late teen years, Rascal got various ailments, including a kidney diesease that caused him to go partially blind. One day we took him to the vet, and they prescribed him kidney medication which miraculously cured his blindness. Rascall eventually passed, but he waa the most resilient cat I’ve ever been around.

Blockbuster is Rascal the cat. I could’ve swore they closed down every store 10 years ago. Apparently they had a Blockbuster by mail service? Who the hell knew. Nothing like sending out a few advertisements letting people know. I hope this is the final nail in the coffin, just like Rascals kidney disease and subsequent blindness. You never want to see something that was once so great have to live a life on it’s knees. It’s like watching Jordan play for the Wizards. Let’s hope Blockbuster goes out gracefully.

– Ryan

I Need an SNL Celebrity Jeopardy DVD

This weekend I had a discussion with a few of my amigo’s (or I had a dream. Either scenario is possible. I drank a lot this weekend) about why SNL has never released a Celebrity Jeopardy dvd. Watch that :30 second clip. Now imagine that kind of universal humor, only this time its part of a two hour dvd. I’ve never been one to toot my own horn, but toot toot baby. An SNL Celebrity Jeopardy dvd would sell like hot cakes. You have its greatest performer, Will Ferrell, plus a ridiculous supporting cast all absolutely nailing dumb downed version of celebrities. Its one of the best recurring skits in SNL history, and the needy side of me wants that greatness at the tips of my fingers. Enough of the sports extra skits or the commercial parodies dvd’s. We want Celebrity Jeopardy. Seacrest out.

– Ryan

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