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Tip of the Day: If You Have a BAC of .413, Do Not Pick Up Your Kid From School

FLORIDAA Florida mom’s blood-alcohol level was more than five times the legal limit when she drove to an elementary school to pick up a child, police say.

Renata Congleton, 27, registered a .413 BAC after she was arrested, but not before she allegedly attacked officers and smashed up her vehicle, according to WFLA.

The mayhem began when she arrived at Trinity Elementary School in New Port Richey Friday afternoon. School officials wouldn’t let the child — who was not identified — leave with Congleton because she appeared “extremely drunk,” Fox Tampa reports. Instead, they called police, but Congleton fled before they arrived.

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Love me a good Florida story. It’s seriously as if people who live there have to be insane. Insane as in you drank so much you’re BAC is .413. .413! That’s astronomical. I thought anything over 4 would equal death, but Renata Congleton spits in the face of my logic. Those school officials are really on their game, too. She appeared “extremely drunk”. You don’t say? The women with a BAC that could win her the MVP award in major league baseball was “extremely drunk”? The citizens of Florida just refuse to be sane. I don’t hate it.

– Ryan

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Everything is Apparently Not OK At Home For Shia LeBeouf

UmmAccording to prosecutors, a pair of witnesses identified the 27-year-old actor as the person hauled out of the show at intermission.

“Do you know who I am?” he reportedly shouted at cops.

Once in cuffs, LeBeouf called one officer “a f—-t” and told another to “suck his d—,” according to charges read aloud in court. It reportedly took a half-dozen cops to take him into custody.

Once in the Midtown North Precinct, where he bizarrely did pushups and jabbered non-stop, LeBeouf allegedly told an officer, “I’ll end your life.”

The erratic actor threatened cops and spit in the air while unleashing a foul-mouthed tirade after a full day of drinking at a nearby bar, law enforcement sources and a witness said.

“He said something like, ‘F— you. I will f— you up,’” the sources said.

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Hasn’t this happened to all of us? We drink at the bar all day then go to a performance of ‘Cabaret’ and cause such a disturbance that the cops have to show up and arrest us then we yell homophobic slurs at the cops and do push ups in the jail cell? If that doesn’t sound like a typical Thursday night then I don’t know what does. Shia LeBeouf is obviously slowly losing his mind and just turning into a cynical, horrible person. Something is obviously wrong here, and whatever it is that is wrong has been going on for a long time. This unfortunately is not an isolated incident, but the latest in a string of incidents where he just loses his shit. I’m going to out on a limb and say that someone with Shia’s history shouldn’t be drinking all day in a bar. Probably not the brightest idea. My suggestion is that Shia befriends a horse and moves to the mountains somewhere. Gets in touch with nature and leaves showbiz behind. Only logical solution.

– Ryan

 

 

Captain Craig ‘Threesome’ Gallo is Upset His Boating & Drivers License Got Taken Away

3someHe went from King of Beers to Cap‘n Crunch.

The kinky captain who drunkenly crashed his love boat while engaged in a three-way sex romp over the weekend won’t be taking pleasure cruises anytime soon — and he’s grounded on land, too.

Craig Gallo, 51, sporting a massive bandage on his forehead and wearing baggy red hospital scrubs, whined when he learned in Queens Criminal Court that both his boating and motor vehicle licenses would be revoked for allegedly operating his fishing vessel while drunk.

“The officer told me it was just going to be my boat license,” he sniffed in court.

“No — both,” Judge Gia Morris sternly replied.

The portly Andover, NJ, man was busy messing around with a pal and a woman they’d just met when his 28-foot Wellcraft boat crashed early Sunday into runway approach lights at La Guardia Airport, sources told The Post.

Gallo later admitted to cops that he’d been drinking and was involved in a boating accident, prosecutors said.

“I was driving, I had a few beers,” Gallo told cops, who noticed he reeked of booze. Gallo, who was arrested in 1999 for urinating in public, refused a Breathalyzer test.

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Craig, Craig, Craig. Not your finest hour. I’m not judging here, either. You want to go have a threesome with two 60 year old people? Be my guest. Have yourself a day. But when you just stop captaining the boat and it crashes you really shouldn’t be surprised when the court takes away all your licenses. There are a lot of people I don’t want on the road or the open seas, and Captain Threesome is pretty high on that list. He obviously lacks discipline. What if he’s driving along the freeway and he gets the text “3some asap” and just rolls out of the car? Or what if HE CRASHES HIS BOAT BECAUSE HE WAS HAVING A THREESOME WITH TWO 60 YEAR OLDS? Wait, that already happened? Yeah, how about we never give him back either of those licenses.

– Ryan

Twitter News Weekly – March Madness, Jim Irsay, Cosmos

-The Average Nobodies

Ain’t no Party Like a Jim Irsay Party

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Irsay was arrested late Sunday night for driving while intoxicated and possession of a controlled substance. The 54-year-old owner could be disciplined by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell under the league’s personal conduct policy. –NY Daily News

Jim, Jim, Jim…you party ANIMAL. Look at you go, just not giving a fuck about the law. I mean what do you have be responsible for? Just an NFL team? That’s no biggie.  Keep being you and leave Andrew Luck to play the moral role model of your organization.

-Matt

PS- He claims to be clean and sober for 15 years.

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Taken after the Super Bowl win in 06. Sober as a bird.

Seahawks GM, Brian Floyd, Knows How To Party

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You aren’t a real champion until you strap on the WWE title, everyone knows that. This is starting to become a “thing” among professional sports and I love it.

-Matt

This Czech Goalie Just Set the Bar Mighty High For Goalies Everywhere

Attention current and future hockey goalies: the bar has been set. I don’t know much about hockey but I do know this is goalie 101. You sucker the other team in with your drunk antics and then when the heat is on you turn away shot after shot. I couldn’t like this guys style more if I tried. Someone make an instructional video out of this ASAP so the children of the world can adapt his ways.

– Ryan

*UPDATE* Rob Ford Says He Had Been Drinking During Fast Food Restaurant Video – Ya Don’t Say!

Source – Toronto’s illustrious mayor was captured on camera putting on a bizarre patois monologue for customers at the eatery in the Canadian city on Monday night, during which he ranted away about police surveillance and flailed his arms seemingly at random.

Since then, the video, called ‘New Video of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Drunk, Swearing in Jamaican Patois? Bumbaclot’ has gone viral.

Confronted about the footage outside his Toronto office, he told reporters he had imbibed “a little bit” of alcohol on Monday night.

“I was with some friends and what I do in my personal life with my personal friends, that’s up to me,” Rob Ford said.

“It really has nothing to do with you guys.”

On whether he felt the language he used was offensive or discriminatory, he said: “It’s how I speak with some of my friends.”

So Matt did a post earlier on the charismatic Rob Ford and his Jamaican speech in a fast food restaurant. Turns out Rob had been drinking before this. No! I refuse to believe it! You’re telling me the same guy who smoked crack actually drank before he gave a speech to Jamaican’s in a Jamaican accent? Mind blowing. I gotta say, the more I watch this guy, the more I fall in love with him. Oh and by the way his approval rating is 42%, higher than President Obama and Prime Minister David Cameron. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

– Ryan

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